Consequences
by RickBeckett
Summary: A look at how a seemingly innocent decision can have major consequence. Immediately after Headhunters A/U from there. Beckett, Esposito, and Ryan ignored Castle after Slaughter punched him. He has been rushed to the hospital after Alexis found him bleeding in his office. Consequences will abound from the linchpin moment. Chapter 22 ... See Note For Contest Question
1. Missed Moment

**_A/N _**

I don't own the characters or the story. Just a quick look at a potential tragedy when hurt feelings prevent doing the right thing.

Despite doing the major right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. Will it have dire consequences?

* * *

**Failure to Act**

* * *

Four friends, teammates and five family members sat laughing about the antics of Rick Castle. They all knew that it probably was not quite the right thing to be doing. The problem was as long as he had survived a lot of what he had done was funny. In their own way each of them loved the nine year old on a sugar rush, writer-boy, man, father, celebrity, team mate, friend and family member. Which one of those and the many other things that made up Richard Edgar Castle changed from moment to moment.

At this moment, they were sitting in a big half circle booth in the back corner of the old speakeasy owned by Richard Alexander Rodgers. Who's known to the world as Richard Edgar Castle, Rick Castle. They were all grateful for the long weekend. Jenny had the next day off, as schools would be closed. While the three detectives were, off because of the big trial starting in five days. Lanie the girlfriend of Detective Javier Esposito had been on call the previous weekend, which had proven to be a very busy weekend. Twenty hours of overtime last weekend earned Dr. Parrish a rare Friday off.

The rare day off allowed them to get together for drinks and laughter without an early curfew. Something they rarely got to do and needed a lot more in their lives. Kate was trying not to laugh and doing a poor job of it as Ryan was animatedly describing to Jenny and Lanie the facial expression on Castle's face when Detective Slaughter had sucker punched him a few hours earlier. Ryan's act exaggerated of course those of Castle and Ryan's impersonation brought fits of laughter from the others.

Lanie after catching her breath had to ask … "What did he say? Was he okay?"

That led to Javier jumping up and mimicking Castle in a hunched over walk and breathlessly gasping out, "Fine." Than a half smirking smile the nearly perfect imitation of Castle's, okay I was stupid look. More laughter and then Lanie caught the very brief look on Kate's face.  
"Kate, what are you thinking?"

"Nothing."

"Don't you nothing me, Beckett" everyone except Jenny had been on the end of Lanie's serious barbs.

"He's fine, but he did look like he was actually in pain. But he was just overacting as he always does." Left unsaid, as she looked to Esposito and Ryan … "Right?" ... the unasked question that they agreed he was just acting.

With four years of antics to go off of, Esposito and Ryan were quick to say oh yeah Castle was way over acting. They had both gotten phone calls about the time Beckett had walked by Castle and turned back to look at him bent over, they had not checked on Castle, as Beckett was right there. Beckett and Castle were still out of sync and while she had briefly, thought about helping him her wounded pride had held her back. His smirk while bent over and with most of his face away from her had been hard to read.

As the laughter died down for a minute Beckett realized she was the fifth wheel that night. He should be there with them, with her. She quickly pulled her phone out and sent a text … "Castle, join us Haunt. Now!" … hoping that simple message would catch him at a good time. It had been weeks since Castle had turned down her invitation after the Boylan Plaza Bombing case. The last few days there were tiny hints that they would find a way back. That whatever he was hiding from … her … could still fix … still have a chance to tell him.  
Lanie suspected what Beckett was doing. "Call him Kate."

"Text is better, I don't want to interrupt." Again leaving unsaid her fear that he was out with some blonde, redhead or brunette … then a thought ran through Kate's mind. Castle does not date brunettes, redheads of course and she did not want to think about the hundreds of blonde bimbos. She realized and smiled as she did that there had not been a brunette in Castle's life other than her and Keira. Keira was happily married and most importantly, Castle practically gave Keira away when they had solved the case of the murdered bridesmaid. Another smile as the server showed up with the next round of drinks.

* * *

**_Fifteen minutes earlier … leading to the moment._**

* * *

Alexis Castle was ready to head out so she went looking for her father. They had shared a good conversation earlier about college and life. Martha had left for her dinner with friends and Castle had gone to his office to write. That is where Alexis found him well almost. He was not writing instead he was curled up on the floor next to his desk … moaning … blood bubbling rapidly out of his mouth.

Despite her near panicked state at finding her father in distress the quick thinking Alexis was calling 911 instantly. The dispatcher had her on the phone while the bus with lifesaving EMT's on board was in route. The protocol was to keep the caller on the line to help keep them calm and to gather as much information as possible. Alexis got down closer to her father to try to talk to him, but he was only able to moan in response. She had felt a vibration and she realized it was her dad's phone. She looked to see if it might be grams.

It was not it was a text from Beckett. Alexis was torn she knew things were not good between her dad and the woman he loved. They were not good between her and Kate. "Ms. Castle, the EMTs just pulled up they will be up to you shortly. Go open your apartment door for them. Do you want me to stay on the line?"

"Thank you, no I am okay." Alexis ran to open the door. Alexis started to call Kate then thought better of it. "No urgency, it was clear Kate didn't care enough so no need to interrupt the team's night out." Once she knew what was wrong she would call Lanie and let her know. A quick decision as she realized the EMT's were coming through the door … oh they are here finally! All thoughts of calling anyone were out the window as she watched the frantic work by the EMTs. They were not wasting time. What did that mean? They were running to the elevator that Eduardo was holding for them. Alexis was in the early stages of shock and her racing thoughts not quite as well thought out as her usual clear and level head allowed.

Captain Gates had been on her way to the Old Haunt hoping to find Rick Castle, when she received a call from the supervisor at the 911-Call Center with startling information. The supervisor quickly told the Captain that whereas an ongoing emergency involving Richard Castle. Gates listened to the quick description of the known information.

At first, she was surprised they had called her until she remembered the procedure in place for all ride along citizens. It was simple and instantly put an action plan in place. If someone was an active ride along needed emergency medical care, the Captain for the precinct was notified. Castle was on permanent ride along status as an unpaid consultant. She still marveled at the fact a millionaire playboy was not only riding along, but had been doing so for years. Even more impressive he was very helpful not that she was ready to tell him that just yet, but soon.

Gates had arrived outside the Old Haunt just as the supervisor finished filling her in on the emergency. She wasn't blind there was something going on with him and since the team had not managed to get him out of it she was going to try. Now instead of talking with him the Captain needed to see if Detective Beckett and her team were still at The Haunt. While technically off duty they had let the desk sergeant know, they would be at the prohibition era speakeasy this evening.

They might call her Iron Gates, but it was not for lack of a heart, she just could not show it often. She was out of her cruiser and heading down the stairs to the entrance quickly. She knew the team was going for drinks. She had just learned that Castle was not only not with them, but he was in very real trouble. Being a Captain in the NYPD allowed her to leave the unit double-parked with lights flashing. She expected to be back to it and moving quickly in minutes if not sooner.

It was a quiet night at the saloon, but between lighting and the layout, it took Captain Gates a minute to scan the room at first she did not see the team. She turned to ask the bartender if they had been in, but the sound of laughter stopped her. Turning back, she saw the team in the far corner.

Lanie was the first to see her. They did not know each other all that well, but the look on Gate's face snapped Lanie out of the joking moment. "Captain?" the M.E. went with a serious and calming tone. The sudden sound of a very concerned Lanie instantly quieted the group who all turned to look at Gates. Like Lanie, every one of them recognized the concern that was all over the Captain's expression. They all lived with the daily fear of one of their own being hurt or worse in the line of duty. Lanie was quickly praying it was not going to be one of the narcotics team that was going on a major raid that evening. She tried to remember what time that raid was going down.

"Esposito, go tell the bartender we have a medical emergency and will settle the bill later. Then join us out front. There is no easy way to say this and I do not know more than this there is a medical emergency at Mr. Castle's home Alexis called it in. He is unresponsive and bleeding from his mouth. Dispatch will advise me on his condition and which hospital." Her delivery fit that of her Iron Gates reputation. She actually preferred the slap in the face approach as it prevented panic most of the time.

It worked as everyone was quickly on his or her feet. Esposito did not tell the bartender it was Castle, but the 12th status at the bar prevented any issue regarding the bill. Ryan called out he would get their unit as he bolted past the Captain. That would make transportation easier as six adults in a cruiser would be a bit difficult.

Jenny was the first to notice the panic on Kate's face. "Kate … Kate … "was her frantic cry.

Lanie heard Jenny's plea to Kate, the look on Jenny's face snapped Lanie's eyes back on Kate. The terror was an all too familiar sight and feeling for Lanie. Minutes ago, they had been joking about whether Castle was okay and had just learned that Castle was in trouble. They had all laughed off his over acting after being punched by Slaughter and now guilt was washing over all of them.

The M.E. had to hide her fears, a man who suffered a blow to the abdomen was now in severe distress and bleeding from his mouth, there were many very real life-threatening possibilities. Unless Castle was attacked in, some way that had caused his mouth to bleed or had bitten his tongue as he fell … Lanie shut off her professional side Kate needed her. Later if needed she would switch back to being a Doctor to deal with whatever was coming and it was definitely coming.

Gates answered her cell phone … "Gates go ahead. … Lennox. I will be in route with Detectives Beckett, Esposito and Ryan. Dr. Parish from the medical examiner's office as well."

Ryan was pulling up and Esposito wasted no time. He quickly ushered Lanie and Kate to the unit. "Ryan you and Jenny ride with the Captain meet you at Lennox Hill."

Kate was silent the look on her face was agonized with fear. The tears rolled as she choked back rapid sobs.

Javier looked to his girlfriend; Castle and Beckett were not the only ones who could eye-text. "Javi, get us there fast she needs to see him … alive."

The last expression told Esposito just how dire the situation might be. Lanie was telling him that the tiny bit of information was enough that she feared Castle might not make it.

They were actually waiting when the bus arrived. The doors were flung open as the trauma reception team was waiting. The first person out of was Alexis. Her light blue blouse stained with blood. Lanie had to trust that Kate would be okay, she ran to the frightened young woman … "Alexis!"

Alexis barely had time to register that it was Lanie, when she was yanked into the arms of the lady she admired. Lanie turned Alexis away as the trauma team was pulling the gurney out of the ambulance. She did that for two reasons, first to protect Alexis unsure of what was going on and secondly so she could see for herself.

Castle was critical that was blatantly evident. The amount of blood on Alexis and Castle was not from a minor cut inside his mouth. A severed tongue perhaps otherwise it was significant internal bleeding. Lanie was hoping that she was not revealing the deep fear she now felt.

Everyone rushed to follow the gurney. All Kate was able to see was the man she loved in severe pain and his skin very pale before they wheeled him into the trauma room. His extraordinary loving, laughing, life filled eyes were out of sight.

Gates was in charge, "Ryan find out where his mother is and go get her. Esposito stay here until he returns. Then the two of you head to Castle's loft oversee the investigation."

"Alexis, have you called your grams?"

"No Ryan. I haven't had time." Alexis continued … "Kate, I'm sorry." Everyone realized Alexis was in shock.

"What? Alexis, no there is nothing to be sorry about."

"You texted dad and I didn't call you." It dawned on all of them that Kate's text message must have come in while Alexis was dealing with the crisis. Kate did the only thing she could grabbed the frightened young woman and allowed her to be her daddy's little girl.

Now all they could do was wait … everyone was afraid to ask … they all dealt with death daily, it was the fear of it being a friend that made them painfully human in the moment.


	2. Frantic

**_A/N ... I appreciate the great response to the story. There are consquences to all of life's decisions. Reviews are requested, not to be told great job or the like. Rather that the story line is working, that the effort to put it together is noticed. I hope to update a bit more frequently. Examining the consequences of a seemingly innocent decision, what happens in part because of the decision will it change the future? Set as an A/U in the minutes, hours and days after Headhunters._**

**_As always I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin. _**

**_Shout out to HippyDragonGirl for her help with editing. She gave very freely of her time and skills. Mentioning her in your reviews would be a nice thank you to her for the time. Check out her stories as well_**

The AC/DC song mentioned in this chapter on youtube … Remove spaces:

http:/www. youtube. com/watch?v=pdW1eOHk4g8&feature=related

Minor edit thanks to a Gayle who pointed out CT scans are faster than MRI.

* * *

**_Previously …_**

_"No Espo. I haven't had time." Alexis continued … "Kate, I'm sorry." Everyone realized Alexis was in shock._

_"What? Alexis, no there is nothing to be sorry about."_

_"You texted dad and I didn't call you." It dawned on all of them that Kate's text message must have come in while Alexis was dealing with the crisis. Kate did the only thing she could grabbed the frightened young woman and allowed her to be her daddy's little girl._

_Now all they could do was wait … everyone was afraid to ask … they all dealt with death daily, it was the fear of it being a friend that made them painfully human in the moment._

* * *

_**Frantic Hours** _

_**Lennox Hill Trauma Center**_

Meanwhile, in trauma room three, the patient assessment was running in high gear. To the untrained eye, it appeared to be chaotic at best. To those who understood, it was the finest ballet. Each person in the room had very specific tasks and the entire process was choreographed to the fine precision. Ideally, the ballet would be a slow easy rhythm, allowing the talented trauma specialists the time to save a life. Of course, the music choice is always dictated by the patient's condition.

At this moment, Rick Castle's body demanded Johnny B. Goode, the AC/DC version … frantic … loud … hard driving … as if screaming _"Go go Go Johnny go Go Go" _… over and over.

The sucker punch thrown just hours earlier by the loose cannon known as Detective Slaughter triggered a series of reactions and injuries. These injuries left Castle's body in a fight to survive. A faster heart rate, lower blood pressure, shock washing over, all worked to suck life from his body. Conscious thought was lost early and if the trauma team failed to stabilize and repair quickly, Castle would die. The frantic beats of his heart were straining to keep him alive. It was not nature's ballad, like Johnny B. Goode, the ballad was a short song. The team had to keep the music playing, while slowing down the rapid pace of the current beat.

Just the type of song that would normally have Castle rocking across the floor of his loft, playing his air guitar. It is not the type of song a trauma surgeon prefers to have playing in the body of a patient. The song was frantic and driving, Rick Castle was subconsciously dancing to a dangerous tune while he lay on the table in trauma room three.

There was a very real chance the song would end before the team could finish its job. A slow waltz is never in the cards for the trauma team. This evening, this moment, Richard Castle's heart is blaring out in a frantic series of out of control beats far faster than his body can sustain.

Clothing is quickly removed the patient is left with just a small drape to allow for some modesty. Not that patients in the trauma unit are normally aware of the gesture, it is simply a reminder the patient is a living person who deserves respect. Various monitors will be attached, vitals taken all to speed the assessment and patient care by the lead trauma specialist who is running "The List" quickly assessing for heartbeat, air, fluids and the other bare necessities of life.

In the case of Richard Castle, there is obvious internal bleeding, with no definitive cause. The surgeon notes a variety of bruises on the patient's body, some clearly just hours old and others appear to be days, even weeks old. Abuse? Breath sounds unequal, right lung partially collapsed, chest tube? Not yet, X-Ray first. Heart beat thready. The thoughts are rapid and controlled, designed to assess and treat in priority order.

"We need Davidson stat and notify radiology a full CT probable thirty minutes clear the schedule. Portable Chest X-ray now. Davidson will need that." The orders are quick, confidently issued.

In the waiting room, barely five minutes have passed. Already feeling like it has been hours since the doors closed on the trauma unit, Alexis suddenly pulls out of Kate's embrace "Sorry, Kate, I'm okay" she offers in a flat, distant, almost embarrassed tone. Before Kate can respond, Alexis is walking over to the window, where she stares out into the night. Kate starts to follow, only to have Lanie cut her off.

"Kate, she needs to be alone to compose herself. Give her a minute then you can help her." Lanie whispered, as she held Kate close and watched the teen's reflection in the glass. For a brief moment, it looked like Alexis was calming down Alexis might welcome the support in just a minute or two. Then in a flash, actually probably thirty or more flashes, the small grip on composure that Alexis was holding onto was lost.

"_Javi, THE PRESS!"_ Lanie screamed to get Esposito's attention, who was over talking to a woman from admitting. The fearful plea in her voice pulled Javi into detective mode.

He whirled around, looking for a threat, witnessing the scene as it played out. He would not like the resulting images sure to be plastered across page six tomorrow morning any more than he liked the image in front of him. Alexis was a deer in the headlights, frozen by the photographer's strobes firing in rapid succession. All her vulnerabilities captured for the public's morbid pleasure.

Her emotions were on display. There was no one to protect her from countless photographers outside the window, only 10 feet from her, jockeying for "the shot" that would splash across page six. Alexis, still in shock, barely flinched as the flashes exploded in the night. She did not turn away.

Gates was heading for Alexis, freeing Esposito to respond to the threat. He was out the door and taking names in a flash. As far as he was concerned, the names should be used for toe tags.

The picture taking stopped within seconds of Esposito stepping outside. There was no need for him to flash his badge, draw his gun, or threaten arrest. The look in his eyes was a far deadlier and more effective weapon. Mass murder was very possible based on the fierce fire in his eyes. The press sensed his anger and backed off for once.

Lost in all of the commotion was the page over the hospital system, "Dr. Davidson Trauma 3 Code Blue."

Dr. Davidson woke quickly when the page sounded in the hospital. Fortunately, one of the nurses knew which on call room Davidson was resting in. Four hours earlier, at Nurse Ingram's suggestion, the on call room was a haven over the cold empty apartment two blocks away. Those four hours of emptiness, of peace were a relief. Another couple hours would have been sheer heaven, nonetheless the meager hours would prove a blessing as the next eleven hours demanded frantic choices and a sharp mind.

Despite being awake, Davidson was still gaining focus when Trauma Nurse Joan Ingram knocked rapidly and called through the door, "Dr. Davidson you're needed in Trauma 3. Forty two year old male semi-conscious aspirating blood, breaths shallow, pulse irregular and thready. X-Rays and CT ordered."

Davidson quickly realized Ingram would have coffee in hand and the rest of the patient assessment. Joan probably knew as much if not more than Davidson about trauma. She was a godsend to surgeons and thoughts of the more than adept nurse brought a smile to Davidson's face. They'd become a well-oiled machine these last six months.

_**Back in the trauma waiting room …**_

The press threat quickly contained, the trauma receptionist realized the young redheaded woman was a celebrity who needed the privacy of the VIP waiting room. New York City had a large number of celebrities and the hospital protected them and its many donors. The receptionist approached Gates and Alexis, "I apologize I do not know who you are. Clearly the press does, but we do have a private waiting area for VIPs."

Gates nodded … "This is Alexis Castle; her father is Richard Castle, the author and NYPD consultant. We would appreciate the use of the room and a chance to talk with the head of security." It was a polite yet firm request. The receptionist was new to this hospital, not to handling VIPs. Kate and Lanie followed as they walked to the private room.

At the door, they all heard the same monotone, emotionless voice. "I need to be alone." was all Alexis said as she stepped through the door and closed it quietly behind her. She did not hate Kate Beckett, but right now, she had no desire to be in the same room with her. If asked, she would say she prefers Kate just leave.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Alexis was lost in thoughts and memories. The situation at hand would surely force her into talking to Grams about all the things she knew. For weeks she had struggled with the conversations she had overheard. While no longer a child, adults still forgot when she was around, at least when she was not directly in front of them. Like her father, Alexis enjoyed people watching, except in the last few weeks. She learned that Detective Kate Beckett had lied to her father. Apparently everyone was wrong. The detective saw her father as only a partner.

Yet, there were conversations between the detective and Lanie that sent mixed signals. Beckett complained that her father had changed. That he was pulling away and dating bimbos. Lanie countered with questions about Kate's feelings and the reply would be "he's my partner" … exactly what her father and Grams had said. So why did Beckett care if or who he was dating? Alexis needed to talk to Grams, but she already knew it was time her dad was given the time and space to heal. The events of the last year had taken a heavy toll on her father. Alexis was terrified that all the emotions would make his fight for survival harder, that he would lose hope.

On the other side of the door Esposito, Beckett and Lanie assume Alexis needs a few moments of privacy. Esposito quickly calls Ryan on his cell asking the necessary question the second Ryan answers, "Kevin, ETA?"

"Forty minimum."

Esposito passes on Ryan's statement knowing it means more likely an hour. It was a busy night in the city. Mets, Yankees, Knicks, Rangers and a big theater night.

"Esposito coordinate with security while I call the precinct. Let me know what the hospital needs." Gates was back in VIP protocol command mode, assess and respond was the rule. Right now, the security and privacy of the Castle family needed tending. It was going to be hectic and stressful in the days and weeks ahead.

_**An Hour Later …**_

Martha arrives in a state of worry, with Ryan escorting her in through a side entrance to avoid the press. They quickly appear outside of the trauma waiting areas. Esposito gives her a quick hug, "Mrs. R., Alexis is okay. She asked to be alone. Ryan and I need to head to your loft to handle the investigation. Lanie will take you to Alexis."

Esposito and Ryan sprint back down the corridor as Martha heads off to the VIP Waiting Room with Lanie. A visibly distraught Beckett is leaning against the wall, half sitting as Martha approaches with Lanie. Gates is further down the corridor talking with a hospital employee. She would soon be on her way to the precinct to coordinate from there.


	3. Waiting

**_A/N ... I appreciate the great response to the story. There are consquences to all of life's decisions. Reviews are requested, not to be told great job or the like. Rather that the story line is working, that the effort to put it together is noticed. I hope to update a bit more frequently. Examining the consequences of a seemingly innocent decision, what happens in part because of the decision will it change the future? Set as an A/U in the minutes, hours and days after Headhunters. _**

**_If you do review please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likley be some. _**

**_As always I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin._**

**_Shout out to HippyDragonGirl for her help with editing. She gave very freely of her time and skills. Mentioning her in your reviews would be a nice thank you to her for the time. Check out her stories as well_**

* * *

_**Previously …**_

_**As soon as the door closed behind her, Alexis was lost in thoughts and memories. The situation at hand would surely force her into talking to Grams about all the things she knew. For weeks she had been struggling with the conversations she overheard. While no longer a child, adults still forgot when she was around, at least when she was not directly in front of them. Like her father, Alexis enjoyed people watching, except in the last few weeks. She learned that Detective Kate Beckett had lied to her father. Apparently everyone was wrong. The detective saw her father as only a partner.**_

* * *

_**Hours of Fear**_

* * *

Martha prepared to open the door to the private waiting room, uncertain of what she would find. Concerned about why Alexis had chosen to be alone, about Richard. The mother in her was worried about the devastation she has just witnessed spilling from every pore of Kate Beckett. First Alexis, than she would deal with the rest.

"Lanie, thank you give me a minute with her and then we can talk."

The young woman Martha sees as she enters the room appears to have age ten years since yesterday. Alexis is clearly very worried, but there is a cold distance in her eyes. It changes instantly when Martha softly calls her name. "Alexis, kiddo, come here." The welcoming arms of her grandmother, the safe haven that Alexis has been waiting for.

"Grams!" the frightened young woman leaps into the offered hug from her grandmother.

"Alexis, why are you alone?"

"Grams, Dad was hurting when he got home. I was heading out, when I found him on the floor in his office. He would have died. How could they have failed to see how badly he was hurting? That maybe he was injured?" Alexis just let fly her pent up thoughts and frustrations. Her confusion and anger turning off her normal filters.

"That's not the whole story is it?" Marth gently pulls back slightly she looks into her granddaughter's eyes, searching for the full story. Sensing hesitation she adds "Kiddo?"

"No, I heard you and Dad talking about Detective Beckett lying about not remembering everything. I heard dad tell you that you knew he told her he loved her. I have seen her with Lanie, heard her tell Lanie that dad does not care about her. How can she lie to him and about what he feels?

"Kiddo, I will not try to defend her, nor will I assume we know everything we need to know. What I just saw out in the corridor is not a woman who does not love your father. I am going to invite her, Lanie and Captain Gates to join us. They should be comfortable."

"I have to say, I am not thrilled with that idea. I called Gina and Paula. They are on the way. Paula is getting the attorneys as well. They will bring the power of attorney."

"Do you think that is wise?"

"I have to be ready for whatever is coming. Grams. He was in really bad shape when I found him, a lot of blood, as you can see. Dad was curled up like a baby, throwing up blood, mumbling. He couldn't answer me. There was blood everywhere. I've got it all over me." Alexis pauses before absentmindedly whispering, "Lanie said she would get scrubs for me."

"Kiddo, he will be okay."

"Hopefully." It's more a prayer from Alexis, "But Grams, the _look_ on Lanie's face, and she doesn't scare easily. I have to be ready. He asked me to handle things if anything happened."

"Of course he did. He trusts you."

"Grams, I won't argue about Detective Beckett. I have to be honest. I have no desire to talk with her."

"I see. Well, we need to take care of our family, even if we do not like all of them at the moment." In the familiar gesture of their family love Martha gently kisses Alexis on her forehead, before smoothing back the young woman's hair. She makes her leave with a simple explanation, "I will be back in a few minutes."

A soft smile briefly crosses Alexis face at her Grams grand exit. The gesture serving its intended purpose.

Martha steps back out into the corridor. "Lanie, were you able to get scrubs for Alexis, or should I call Gina to have her pick up some clothes?"

"I have some scrubs. Clothes would be better."

"Come along than, you too, Kate. There are plenty of comfortable seats in the room."

The three women enter the private waiting room. Alexis is on her phone, apparently texting someone. Martha and Lanie, walk over to Alexis. Lanie hands Alexis the scrubs. Lanie quietly says, "Alexis, Kate, or I need to go with you when you change. Your clothes are evidence. Until we know what happened, we have to keep the chain of custody."

"I understand. Will you come with me Lanie?"

"Of course, sweetheart."

They slip out to find somewhere for Alexis to change.

"Kate, darling, have you had anything to eat?" Kate looks at Martha and shakes her head no, so afraid for Rick that she can't speak. "I see. Please stand up and give this old woman a hug. Yes, dear, I said old. Right now I feel very old." Martha's years of experience serve Kate well, when she understands that Kate needs to feel wanted and part of whatever is happening. So she feigns feeling old to let Kate know how she can be useful. Martha does need the hug. Kate would not be her first choice, but she meant what she told Alexis. You take care of family, no matter your feelings.

A short time later, Martha pulls out her phone and Kate hears her one-sided conversation.. "Gina, it's Martha. I need you to arrange food for all of us. Figure on twenty-five … no make it fifty people. The hospital staff can use a nice meal I imagine. Thank you. No, we have not heard anything yet."

"Martha, Alexis wanted to get some air. The hospital security went with her to the private balcony up on the tenth floor. She asked that you call her when the attorney arrives."

"Thank you. Lanie. You are better with understanding all this. Would you be a dear and see if there is any news?"

"Of course."

Kate is over in the corner, away from the door, far from the light from the table lamps. She seeks comfort in the relative darkness. She has pulled her knees up to her chest and is slowly rocking. Her gaze unfocused and if she was outside, everyone would assume she was looking well off into the space.

Laine looks briefly to assess Kate's state and decides she is okay for the time being. Martha points to Kate and mouths, "I will take care of her."

Over the next thirty minutes, Lanie comes back with little information other than he is alive. Paula, Gina and the attorneys arrive quickly, heading upstairs to talk with Alexis. A statement to the press will be necessary, as soon as reasonably possible. The attorneys need to discuss the medical and general power of attorney that name Alexis in the event of Castle's inability to handle his affairs. Castle had insisted on changing his guardianship to Alexis effective on her eighteenth birthday. That she would have to consider taking guardianship only two months later is difficult for all involved in the process.

Five hours later the boys have returned from Castle's loft. There were no visible signs of foul play. They do need to speak with Martha after making a surprising discovery in Castle's office. For now, they have agreed to wait to bring Gates or Beckett into the loop. When Lanie goes with Kate for a walk, it allows them the chance to talk.

"Mrs. R. there was no signs of any crime. The evidence team did take his coffee cup and plate with some food on it. Other than that, nothing else was removed for now. Kevin and I did see his smart board. We are hoping you could explain it. Gates and Kate will both go ballistic, if we end up having to take his office into evidence. Sorry, I forgot we will be able to let you into the loft, but not into his office or bedroom without being with you."

"Javier, can it wait until morning? If not, then I'll use the need to find Alexis as our excuse to go on a walk, so we can talk."

"Mrs. R., a brief walk tonight, but details in the morning." He offers in agreement.

"Thank you. I welcome a walk with two gentlemen to protect my honor." She offers dramatically to break the tension. Offering a message to the two detectives that she understands their concern and will share what she knows. They leave shortly after the boys fill Kate and Lanie in on what was not found at the loft, which provides some relief to Kate. At least there was no evidence of an assault.

They take a slow walk with a detour into a conference room offered by the hospital for use by the police and Castle's people. Martha, Javier and Kevin welcome the emptiness and privacy. She fills them in with a brief explanation. The revelation of Mr. Smith and his having information that he is using to keep Kate safe is alarming.

"Mrs. R. Kevin and I will try to keep this quiet for now. If there are any signs of poison in the food, we will have to seize his computer. Do you know if he backs everything up? If you agree, we will not tell Kate, but we may have to. It will be better from one of us than Gates."

"If Kate needs to be told before Richard is able, I insist on telling her. I can explain it better than anyone except Richard, not the information, of course, just the reason he has been doing this."

"Mrs. R. we may not have the opportunity. The minute the Captain finds out, she will haul us into her office."

"Give me until he is out of surgery. Once we know how that went, I will sit down with all of you. I prefer Richard tell her, but I am not convinced they do not love each other still. Any chance they have will be destroyed if this comes out in the wrong way."

They nod and stand up. "Let's go find Alexis."

Half an hour later, they arrive back in the private waiting area. Lanie has already checked for updates and what she learned has her concerned. Kate is waiting anxiously for Martha and Alexis so Lanie can share the news.

"Alexis, Martha I'm glad your back. I have some news." Alexis remains standing and her Grams steps in close beside her.

"Alexis, take a breath, sweetie, your Dad is still in surgery. All they would tell me is they have found significant injuries that have caused intensive hemorrhaging. The nurse brought pillows and blankets when I told her there was no way any of us would be going home. They will wake us when the surgery is complete. I was able to squeeze a hazy time estimate of another five to eight hours until he is likely to be in I.C.U."

The news stuns everyone. Castle's surgery is going to be longer than Beckett's was when she was shot. Kate breaks down into sobs, earning her a cold dismissive look from Alexis, who wonders where the concern is coming from. Weeks of hearing comments about her father when the detective forgot she was working have damaged the already fragile relationship.

The clock on the wall shows its 2:08 in the morning. Six and half hours since arriving at the hospital and they still do not know if Castle will survive. The hours ahead will be restless for most and sleepless for Kate and Alexis. Even when everyone else is asleep, there are no words spoken. The distance between them is far greater by morning than it was when Kate hugged Alexis a few hours earlier.

Everyone is awake and on edge by 6:00 when a nurse stopped in to briefly let them know the surgeon had sent word that they should get breakfast early. Davidson had learned to offer comfort to those waiting through caring messages at Ingram's suggestion when they first met. The nurse explained that the surgery should be finished by 7:30 or thereabouts. The surgeon would come to brief them as soon as possible.

The catering company that brought dinner at 10:30 the previous evening was already laying out the breakfast for the family and friends over in the conference room offered by the hospital. At Martha's insistence, the breakfast would feed the night shift and the day shift staff as well as the other families waiting in the trauma area. No mention of the family's generosity was to be made to the press. Paula was not happy about that, as good P.R. to go along with the tragedy would be very newsworthy. The grateful staff and families made sure the press learned of the gift almost immediately.

The family and friends were first to eat ensuring they would all be together when the surgeon came to talk to Alexis and Martha. The knock on the door would finally come at 8:07 AM.

"Hello, I'm Joan Ingram. Dr. Davidson will be here in just a few minutes. I can tell you that Mr. Castle is currently in recovery. Dr. Davidson will fill you in on his condition. It will be about five minutes I think. Does anyone need anything? If not, I will go attend Mr. Castle."

Kate went pale at the name of the surgeon. Her mind flashing to the last time she saw him. It was only a few hours after she had told Rick to give her a few days and she would call. Josh tried to convince her that it was the shock and medications talking. She was able to get him to understand that she could not hold him from his life's work. She loved him, but she was not in love with him, finally admitting to Josh what she had yet to admit to Castle. That was when Josh finally conceded the argument. Now, nearly a year later in just seconds she was anxious to see Josh, to know that he was doing okay.

_The look on Josh's face when she croaked out … "I love Rick. I have for years …" was not what she expected. The first emotion she saw was relief, then frustration, and finally anger. He was holding back she could tell. Surprisingly, there was no hurt visible. Why? _

"_Kate, I know. I'm glad you finally can tell me." _

"_Why the argument?"_

"_Kate, I do love you. If you really wanted us, I would give up the traveling. I certainly would not have just left you here after all this. Now that you will let him love you, I can go with a clear conscious. I will miss you." He had tried to hide the hurt and the tears. She gave him the dignity of not mentioning what she saw._

"_Josh, please keep in touch. I want to see you when you are in town. Be happy and invite me to your wedding." She meant it, but was sure, when he walked out the door that she would never see him again. He had left abruptly, without a hug or kiss goodbye._

Of course, Alexis has a different memory of Dr. Davidson. The only time she had ever seen the man, he had attacked her father. She was now grateful that he had apparently saved her father's life. However, knowing what he had meant to Kate and how hurt her father was when Kate had gone away, left Alexis anxious. When she saw the look on Kate's face of anticipation at the idea of Dr. Davidson walking through the door, Alexis had to call on all of her manners not to tell Kate to leave.

There was a knock on the door and it opened immediately, as Dr. Davidson already knew the family was anxiously waiting.


	4. Helpless

**_A/N ... I appreciate the great response to the story. There are consquences to all of life's decisions. Reviews are requested, not to be told great job or the like. Rather that the story line is working, that the effort to put it together is noticed. I hope to update a bit more frequently. Examining the consequences of a seemingly innocent decision, what happens in part because of the decision will it change the future? Set as an A/U in the minutes, hours and days after Headhunters._**

If you do review please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likley be some.

As always I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

Shout out to HippyDragonGirl and PenguinofTroy for their help with editing. Check out their stories as well

Time for a look into the night for Kate. She had been left alone, adrift while the hospital staff focused on Rick and to a lessor degree Alexis. Kate also sought out the solitude, it was her natural defense mechanism. Remember things are not always as they appear so unless you are certain it is wise to keep an open mind.

Will be working hard to get several chapters done in the next few days, so reviews or PM's help fuel the drive. The number of alerts on the story have been amazing. I hope the story continues to hold the interest of everyone.

* * *

_**Previously …**_

_**Alexis was a deer in the headlights, frozen by the photographer's strobes firing in rapid succession. All her vulnerabilities captured for the public's morbid pleasure.**_

_**Her emotions were on display. There was no one to protect her from countless photographers outside the window, only 10 feet from her, jockeying for "the shot" that would splash across page six. Alexis, still in shock, barely flinched as the flashes exploded in the night. She did not turn away.**_

**Esposito and Ryan sprint back down the corridor, as Martha heads off to the VIP Waiting Room with Lanie. A visibly distraught Beckett is leaning against the wall, half sitting, as Martha approaches with Lanie.**

_**Of course, Alexis has a different memory of Dr. Davidson. The only time she had ever seen the man, he had attacked her father. She was now grateful that he had apparently saved her father's life. However, knowing what he had meant to Kate and how hurt her father was when Kate had gone away, left Alexis anxious. When she saw the look on Kate's face of anticipation at the idea of Dr. Davidson walking through the door, Alexis had to call on all of her manners not to tell Kate to leave.**_

_**There was a knock on the door and it opened immediately, as Dr. Davidson already knew the family was anxiously waiting.**_

* * *

Kate had to force herself to breathe. The moment she had been fearing for the last twelve and a half hours was about to happen. The room was closing in on her quickly. Throughout the night, she had barely kept her personal demons at bay. From the moment Gates walked up to the table at the Old Haunt, Kate Beckett had been in a battle of wills. The cold reality was that the only battle during the night that really mattered to her had been fought in another room down the hall. Fear still had it's grip of death wrapped around Kate's heart.

The terror had hit fast and hard just hours ago, one minute laughing until her sides hurt, the next shear panic. Kate has seen and been the officer delivering tragic news, the look on Captain Gates face was all too familiar. Her first concern was Castle. Somehow, the way Gates looked at her, conveyed it was Rick that was in trouble. Then the guilt had hit with a vengeance. Kate was angry and disappointed at herself.

Asking herself why her first thoughts, when he did not reply to her message, had been that he must be out with another bimbo. Only briefly wondering if there was more to his look of pain, dismissing the thought just as she had in the Precinct. Pure panic had set in and she was barely able to breathe.

_She never heard Jenny's frantic cry of … "Kate … Kate … "_

From that moment until Alexis spoke at the hospital, the only thing Kate would remember was the sight of Castle's blood covered body being pulled out of the bus. She wasn't even sure he was alive. Her mind argued within itself about that very fact. Her world had been spiraling down from the moment Kate made eye contact with her Captain. She was saved by a voice she barely recognized. One that silently cried for help.

It brought one of the few moments of clarity…

_"Kate, I'm sorry." _

_"What? Alexis, no there is nothing to be sorry about."_

_"You texted Dad and I didn't call you."_

The lost lonely voice heard from Alexis splashed over Kate as if it was ice water, snapping her into action. Over a year, ago Rick asked and Kate promised without hesitation to take care of Alexis should there ever be a time that he could not. Kate remembered all too well what the empty feeling was like when your world is yanked from under you. She moved to protect and comfort the young woman, offering a quiet hug. She refused to react to the hurt when Alexis pulled away a short time later. She understood that the young woman needed to gather her emotions. Her focus lost, Kate failed to recognize that she needed someone to comfort her, as badly as she had when her mother was murdered years ago.

Her mind flashed to the horrific night her mother was murdered. The memory was of the adults who kept treating her like she was a child, when all she wanted was to be left alone. There were a few adults she wanted to talk to, but most of them were treating her as if she was two. With those thoughts driving her, Kate decided to give Alexis space.

Her mind drifted further back to seeing the man waiting at their front door. The man who destroyed her innocence and a year ago nearly cost her her life. When he finally spoke, it was as if Kate was not even there...

"_Mr. Beckett, I'm Detective Raglan I need you to come with me …_"

Then to the days after, as family and friends spoke to her father, like Mrs. Johnson from across the street, when they were all in the kitchen…

"_Jim, how is Katie holding up?_"

Instead of asking her when she was sitting just five feet away. Kate recalled wanting to scream …_I'm right here you know_...then hated when her dad's alcohol fueled response had been a monotone..

"_Katie's fine. She's wise beyond her years._"

Had her father been capable of asking her, her response would have been far different...

"_I miss my mom. I need you daddy." _

Kate couldn't help thinking right now that Alexis needed her mom, but that woman had walked away. Just as Kate realized she should to try to be the friend Alexis needed, the flashes exploded into the room, assaulting her eyes … she was frozen in place as her PTSD pushed panic back into control.

No one noticed that when the commotion of the photographers had caught Alexis off guard, the flashes affected Kate as well. The PTSD driven panic attack crawled into Beckett and sent her spiraling. All the missed moments, poor decisions, and worst case scenarios played out before her mind's eye through the course of the wait. The mental movie started in the hallway. Later, the film continued after Martha had ushered Lanie and her into the waiting room. Kate was alone in the dark corner and the memories played throughout the night.

Searing images of moments and decisions. All of them tied deeply to what she had failed to do with Richard Castle. She should have let him breach her walls, instead she fought to reinforce them. The damn walls … the question was always the same... _Why did she hold on to them? _

_She wanted Castle. She settled for Demming. Wanted the Hamptons. Lied about working. She was ready. Instead, she let Gina walk away in her place. She failed to fight for what she wanted. _

_Failed to tell him just how much that "extraordinary" dedication had meant to her. _

_Let him come so close to dying too many times and never once had the guts to tell him she loved him like no other. Especially after nearly freezing to death, they both came so close to confessing their feelings. Clearly Castle was about to talk, then he pulled back, she let him walk away again. This time she chose Josh, just as he had Gina. _

_LA, he took big risks and she ran. Only to turn around, open the door, and not chase. _

_Never telling him how right he was about them. Not talking about the kiss or all of the other moments. Then, after THE FIGHT … the "You know what we are, Castle? We are over! Now get out." fight, not telling him she was sorry after they fought about what they were. Not coming clean at the swings, hiding in innuendos … biggest regret knowing how he feels, lying about it, and never telling him how she feels. _

There were three people who would have been able to help Kate deal with the demons. One was the reason they were waiting, Esposito was in crisis prevention/detective mode, and no one knows to call Dr. Burke. No one knows about her on going counseling.

Throughout the night, Lanie and Martha checked on Kate, but the response was the same, "_I'm okay. Is there any news?_" When there was no news, she went back to staring down her demons and the fear. No one recognized how lost Kate Beckett was. It came across as being cold and distant. Nearly a mirror of Alexis Castle's guarded and confused state.

As the door swung open to admit Josh, her sense of despair was overwhelming. The hours of worry and stress, the lack of sleep, the thoughts about Josh that had just raced through her mind, and most importantly her memories had combined together, taking a heavy toll on Kate. She was terrified at what she might lose. It all hinged on what he would say.

She was trying to will Josh to rush through the door and tell them all the worry was never necessary. That the surgery took so long because Castle would not stop talking long enough to allow them to operate.

It was irrational, but anything other than … **"**_**Castle has come through the surgery and will be on his feet in a few days." **_ Any words to that effect were all Beckett needed. The thought of anything else terrified Kate far more than she could handle.

Once again Kate was so wrapped up in her mind that she failed to communicate. Despite her best intentions, she had not taken care of Alexis. Her anxiety drove her away during the night when Alexis needed her. As the door had opened, her anticipation was misunderstood by everyone in the room. The mere mention of Dr. Davidson had turned the focus squarely on Kate.

The look on Kate's face changed the second Dr. Davidson stepped into view. Only one word fit the expression … shock. Had anyone who really knew Beckett truly seen her during the night, they would have seen that same look all night long.

Then again, everyone in the room was wearing that same expression now that Dr. Davidson had entered the room.


	5. Unexpected

**_A/N ..._**_ I appreciate the great response to the story. There are consquences to all of life's decisions. Reviews are requested, not to be told great job or the like. Rather that the story line is working, that the effort to put it together is noticed. I hope to update a bit more frequently. Examining the consequences of a seemingly innocent decision, what happens in part because of the decision will it change the future? Set as an A/U in the minutes, hours and days after Headhunters._

___This chapter has medical issues laid out. I know many will jump to conclussions saying no way, not possible, etc. Please allow a little lattitude in your thinking. There will be some explanation for it all in coming chapters._

_If you do review please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likley be some._

_As always I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin._

* * *

**_Unexpected ~ Condition_**

* * *

_**Previously …**_

_**Of course, Alexis has a different memory of Dr. Davidson. The only time she had ever seen the man, he had attacked her father. She was now grateful that he had apparently saved her father's life. However, knowing what he had meant to Kate and how hurt her father was when Kate had gone away, left Alexis anxious. When she saw the look on Kate's face of anticipation at the idea of Dr. Davidson walking through the door, Alexis had to call on all of her manners not to tell Kate to leave.**_

_**There was a knock on the door and it opened almost immediately, as Dr. Davidson already knew the family was anxiously waiting.**_

_It was irrational, but anything other than … __**"Castle has come through the surgery and will be on his feet in a few days." **__Any words to that effect were all Beckett needed. The thought of anything else terrified Kate far more than she could handle._

_Once again Kate was so wrapped up in her mind that she failed to communicate. Despite her best intentions, she had not taken care of Alexis. Her anxiety drove her away during the night when Alexis needed her. As the door opened, everyone in the room misunderstood her anticipation. The mere mention of Dr. Davidson had turned the focus squarely on Kate._

_The look on Kate's face changed the second Dr. Davidson stepped into view. Only one word fit the expression … shock. Had anyone who really knew Beckett truly seen her during the night, they would have seen that same look all night long._

_Then again, everyone in the room was wearing that same expression now that Dr. Davidson had entered the room._

* * *

**_Unexpected ~ Condition_**

* * *

As the "family" finally took a breath, the last person to enter the room was taken aback by the looks of shock. Davidson could not understand the combination of fear and amused relief. Finally, Martha spoke, "Dr. Davidson, I presume?"

"Yes, I'm Dr. Amanda Davidson, Chief of Trauma. I know you all have had a long night. Mr. Castle is in recovery and will be moved to I.C.U. It will be about an hour till family may visit. Until he is stabilized, we will have to limit the visitors to his immediate family." While she delivered the somber news, her mind made notes of the reactions of each person in the room. These observations always served to ensure she knew who to handle with gentle guarded care and who needed to be told information in a straightforward manner in the days ahead. Since teaming up with Nurse Ingram, she was amazed how much the pre talk meetings helped prepare her to brief the family. Quickly she thought back to the information provided to her as she scrubbed out twenty minutes ago.

"_Dr. Davidson, the family of Mr. Castle is in V.I.P. Room Three. His mother is Martha Rodgers, the actress and his daughter is Alexis Castle. Both are redheads. The others waiting with them are Dr. Lanie Parish, the M.E., Detectives Kate Beckett, Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan. His wife, Jenny Ryan, is the pretty blonde. Mr. Castle works with the detectives as a consultant. If you ask me, Detective Beckett may be in a relationship with Mr. Castle. She is in the worst shape. Martha and Alexis are keeping up a brave front. Ms. Alexis is trying hard, but I think she is straining. Perhaps time alone with her and her grandmother later, if you can __manage__." Ingram always pointed out who to be most concerned about, who the stronger ones were. Apparently, there were two within the worried group that might need a bit of extra care._

Without missing a beat, Dr. Davidson turned to Martha, "Mrs. Rodgers, I will send a nurse for you and Alexis as soon as we can possibly allow you to visit him. I know you are strong, but please remember he will look far worse than he really is. He's been through a strenuous and long surgery." Davidson delivered the standard line about how the patient looked.

She sold the "story" well, every time she had to use it, it was to protect the emotionally grieving family members. When the protective statement was necessary, Davidson would then turn to the strongest family member, finding a way to let them know there was more to be said privately. Today it was very necessary. Ingram's notes told her that would be Martha and not only because she was the grand dame. When their eyes met, she was able to let Martha know they needed to talk privately. It was a simple expression that the actress acknowledged with a single nod, "_yes, we will talk alone_."

Moving on to the rest of the waiting group, she continued, "I know you all work with Mr. Castle. Unfortunately, it will be awhile before I can allow any visitors other than his immediate family. Now with that being said, I need to speak privately with Mrs. Rodgers."

At the words "immediate family" Kate's shoulders dropped, her body betraying the defeat she felt. She was not going to be allowed to see him and it hurt. Her mind spinning her back into the panic she had been fighting for hours... would she see him again? Recalling the pain and dejection Castle had tried to hide when she told him she was tired. That she needed some time and would call him.

Understanding now just how hurtful her words had been. Even worse, she had prolonged his agony by running to her father's cabin without so much as a call to explain she needed more time. _YOU SELFISH BITCH,_ she felt like screaming at herself. She focused back in the moment when she heard Alexis speaking.

"Excuse me Doctor, I'm Alexis Castle, I don't mean to be rude, but you need to speak to me, not my grandmother. Is it correct to assume that my father will not be capable of making medical decisions for a few days? If so, you need to know that I am his guardian and hold his medical power of attorney."

"Alexis, my apology, I did not know, but yes, you are correct. Do you want to speak privately or with your grandmother present?"

"Actually, it will just be easier if we can all sit down while you explain. That way we will not have to repeat this to the others. Is that okay?" Alexis's eyes were saying _please let it be okay. I do not want to have to explain it all. I need to see my dad_. Amanda was amazed at the maturity and strength the young woman was showing.

"Of course, as long as you sign off on the notice of disclosure, then yes, I can speak to all of you. I will go get that and we can talk here or in the conference room. Actually, I have a question based on his injuries and the presence of these three detectives. I assume there is an investigation into what happened to Mr. Castle? If so, how do I get in touch with the detective running the investigation?"

"Detective Javier Esposito, Dr. Davidson, my partner Detective Ryan and I are handling the investigation. Are you saying this was not an accident?" Esposito had pulled himself forward as the description started sounding like something that might just be criminal. Now he was not only concerned for his friend, but mentally preparing to go hurt someone if need be. He held out his business card for Amanda.

"Detective, if I'm not mistaken that is Dr. Parish from the M.E.'s office with you, correct?"

"Yes, sorry. We should have introduced ourselves."

"Please, it's okay. You have all been through a lot, and I never gave any of you a chance. I find that getting the information out is more important at first then names. Dr. Parish, can you come with me while I get that disclosure and some other information? I believe you have use of conference room B. We'll meet there in five minutes. Okay?"

Lanie looks at Kate, "Go, Lanie." The short statement tells Lanie that Kate is still very scared and confused. The urgency in Kate's voice spurs Lanie to nod and step toward the door. Dr. Davidson follows after quickly squeezing Alexi's shoulder with a silent whispered, "I'm here for you."

"Dr. Davidson?" Lanie does not need to say anything more as she walks quickly towards the nurses' station.

"Dr. Parrish, I will explain the medical aspect to everyone, for now you should look at the pictures the trauma admitting team took. Mr. Castle presented with considerable bruising to his torso, some of the contusions clearly weeks old. The pictures will tell the story. I need your guidance on how to proceed. Do I tell the family or only the detectives for now? This man has been through hell for a while now."

"Let me look, but yes, tell the family. I can assure you that wherever the injuries came from, it's not his mother or daughter. Now spill. Just how bad is he? We both know bruising does not require nearly twelve hours of surgery, especially under the skilled hands of one of the finest trauma surgeons in the world. I assume you are now divorced Amanda?" Left unsaid was that Lanie knew her before she married and became Dr. Stephens, reverting to her maiden name meant divorce most likely. Few people in the medical world did not know of the skills held by the young surgeon.

Dr. Amanda Davidson graduated high school at fourteen and entered Harvard immediately, graduating three years later with a double major. Her perfect 4.0 average in pre-med and English a nearly impossible feat, she was the one person who had ever done it, making it possible. She did not stop there, finishing Harvard School of Medicine at the old age of 20, number one in her class. Simply put, she was not only a genius she was an overachiever. What did surprise people was her personality. Socially, she fit in often the life of the party in a good way unlike the stereotype of a "nerd." No wild drunken spring break events or naked on a horseback in Central Park, but she did enjoy life. She worked hard and played hard, both at the appropriate times. Right now, it was time for work.

"Lanie, I'm glad you took my hint. I did want to speak to you alone. I am officially asking you for a consult to advise me concerning Mr. Richard Castle. I do truly need your knowledge of him and his health. I need his medical records ASAP. Can you help?"

"The family will provide anything you need. You do know who he is? Now quit stalling and tell me, so I can help you break the news."

"Lanie, the next 72 hours are critical. While he is stable, his condition is grave. Internally he was a mess when I got him open. I suspect there will be significant infection and that is the biggest threat at this time. I need to know. Do I tell the family straight up or leave out just how precarious the situation is, let them take things in a bit at a time?"

"Amanda, it's a strong family. All of us are part of it. I know that sounds strange, but Rick more or less adopted us. Alexis needs to be told, so does Martha. Detective Beckett is more fragile at the moment. Remember hearing about the NYPD Detective who was shot last year at the funeral for her Captain? That was Beckett."

"I understand. Let me guess there is no way we will get her away from the others. She will insist on staying, on hearing it along with the family."

"Exactly."

"Okay, I will have to talk with Martha and Alexis just before they go see him. We have kept them waiting long enough. Perhaps I will talk about the apparent beatings to distract Detective Beckett."

Lanie smiled at the thought, "Great idea. Beckett will be searching for whoever is responsible. The sooner she starts thinking, the less likely she will notice just how serious things are. I need time to prepare her for this. Rick's her partner. Losing him would destroy her."

The two scooped up the pictures and head down the corridor to the conference room.

"Hello, sorry to keep everyone waiting, Dr. Parish and I went over a few things and she has copies of photographs for all of you detectives. Alexis, please take a minute to review and then if you agree sign the disclosure agreement, so that I may brief everyone." Alexis does not bother to read it, she just signs it. Earning a raised eyebrow from Martha who was concerned about the bold gesture by her granddaughter.

"Grams, I need to know now. We would tell them all of it, so let's just get this done."

Alexis turns back to Dr. Davidson, "Here it is Doctor. Can we please get started?"

"_We can. Let me briefly explain then I will take questions. Mr. Castle is currently in critical condition. The next seventy two hours will be crucial to his long term prognosis. This is quite normal considering the length of his surgery and the injuries. Allow me to step back to his arrival. _

_Alexis, your quick thinking saved your father's life. If he had not been brought to the hospital when he was, the odds are he would have succumbed to his injuries within an hour. I am sure that shocks all of you. The reasons for his injuries are unknown at this time._

_He presented as we call it in trauma with a series of issues, the only visible sign of injury was a pattern of bruising. His torso covered with contusions. The coloring allows us to age the bruising. Dr. Parish can explain that to you detectives. For now I will summarize, simply Mr. Castle has been hurt repeatedly for weeks if not longer._

_In and of themselves those injuries were not what threatened his life. Rather at some point late yesterday he received a blow that caused severe trauma that led to the condition you found him in Alexis. Whatever happened could only have been in the late afternoon. It had to have occurred after 3:00 PM. The amount of blood loss tells us that it had occurred a few hours before he arrived here."_

Jenny Ryan was the outsider and that afforded her the ability to watch over her husband and his work family. For the last year, she had become quietly in tune with Kate. The horrifying truth shocked all of them, but Kate masked her reaction. Only Jenny saw it. The others were too caught up in the shock of the near death of Rick Castle. Jenny reached over to Beckett and took her hand, surprisingly Kate didn't pull away. The acceptance of help was not lost on Ryan, Lanie or Esposito.

"Excuse me Doctor, how do you know that?" Esposito beat Beckett and Ryan to the question. Lanie was nodding in agreement. She had known from the moment Gates told them of Castle's condition that he was fighting for his life. She also knew the likely causes of aspirating blood through his mouth allowed for only a small window of time.

"Detective Esposito, if it had been prior to that, Mr. Castle would not have been alive. His spleen ruptured. He would have bled to death. Most likely the event that caused this was late yesterday afternoon. I know you will sort out the time. I'm just trying to tell you what I can. Let me get back to the injuries, then questions. Okay?"

"Sorry, that just seemed so definitive. Please tell us."

"_The ruptured spleen was not the only life threatening issue. Rather than go into all the details at this time, allow me to summarize. His additional injuries included lacerated liver, tear in the esophagus, another in the large intestine, two cracked ribs on his left side, another on his right. The one on his right was dislodged, causing a punctured lung. The internal bleeding made it very difficult to breathe. Either he has been in an accident and his injuries left untreated or he has been beaten more than once over the last few weeks, perhaps longer._

_What we are watching for at this time is infection, since there is no way to know just how long most of the internal bleeds were occurring. Based on my experience, there were multiple events, but the damage that caused the critical turn was the impact that ruptured his spleen. The same blow may well have caused the tears to the intestine and esophagus. Once he is stable enough to do an MRI, the full scan will provide a clearer picture of the injuries._

_Before anyone asks, Mr. Castle will be in a medically induced coma for at least the next five to seven days. I know that is scary, but it is done to allow his body to heal without having to work hard just to breath. If infection does set in, the time will be longer._

_Alexis, Martha, I know you have many questions. I will be available. Right now though, I think you both need to come with me to see for yourself that he is indeed starting to recover."_

"Dr. Davidson, please." Alexis was up and moving for the door without waiting on her Grams or the doctor.

"Let me take them to see him and then I will come back immediately. I know you have questions for me detectives."

Martha joined Dr. Davidson and whispered to her just as they headed out the door to join Alexis. "I know you're not telling Alexis or Kate that Richard may not make it. I do need you to be honest with me when we can talk."

"Of course." Was all that Davidson risked saying with Alexis somewhere on the other side of the door.


	6. Overwhelmed

_**A/N ...**__ I appreciate the great response to the story. There are consequences to all of life's decisions. Examining the consequences of a seemingly innocent decision, what happens in part because of the decision will it change the future? Set as an A/U in the minutes, hours and days after Headhunters._

_This chapter has medical issues laid out. I know many will jump to conclusions saying no way, not possible, etc. Please allow a little latitude in your thinking. There will be some explanation for it all in coming chapters. Its fiction so what is described may be a stretch, if you cannot accept that sorry. :)_

_If you do review, please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likely be some._

_As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin. Reviews are encouraged and helpful. To the 120 plus who have alerted the story … Thank You._

_Please, note there are a few somewhat vulgar references by a character in this chapter. They are used for affect. I apologize if they offend __anyone._

* * *

_**~ Dose of Reality ~**_

* * *

_**Previously ...**_

_"Let me take them to see him and then I will come back immediately. I know you have questions for me detectives."_

_Martha joined Dr. Davidson and whispered to her just as they headed out the door to join Alexis. "I know you're not telling Alexis or Kate that Richard may not make it. I do need you to be honest with me when we can talk."_

_"Of course." Was all that Davidson risked saying with Alexis somewhere on the other side of the door._

Dr. Davidson, Martha and Alexis are approaching a door marked "Trauma I.C.U." when Alexis speaks up, "Dr. Davidson, Grams, I know you both are trying to protect me and not let me know just how serious Dad's condition is. I'm 18, but the past few months interning with Lanie, I've learned a lot. Please tell it to me straight."

"Okay, Kiddo. Dr. Davidson, Alexis is right. Richard trusted her to make the right decisions. She does need to know." Martha, who had a loose hold on Alexis's waist, pulls her granddaughter a little closer.

"Alexis, as I told everyone, the next seventy two hours are going to tell us a lot. Officially, your father is in critical condition. Our hospital does not use the term grave for patient conditions. The term can scare people, but your father's condition is what other hospitals refer to as grave.

He is simply in the fight of his life. He will be for some time. His chances will improve significantly, if he makes it through the next seventy-two hours. I assure you, he will have a nurse with him at all times. We will do everything we can." Alexis inhales sharply and goes rigid with Dr. Davidson's words.

"Hey, it's okay to cry, even when you visit with your Dad. If he's like mine, hearing you cry may help him fight."

"Thank you, Dr. Davidson. Alexis, let's go see your father. We need to call Gina and Paula, let them know the situation."

Dr. Davidson pushes the door open and reaches for Alexis' hand. "Alexis, let me walk you to your father."

Alexis tentatively takes the hand offered. Martha follows. Reaching for the tissues she has in her pocket, she silently hopes they can make it through the next seventy-two hours. For the next twenty minutes, Dr. Davidson stood across from Alexis and Martha while she summarized in more detail the extent of Castle's injuries.

_**Back in the conference room …**_

Esposito is on his phone, "Captain, I have a brief update. Castle is out of surgery. His condition is critical. The doc advised the next seventy-two hours will be important. … Yes, Sir. … Sir, there was an event yesterday. Slaughter punched Castle in the gut. At the time, it appeared to be horseplay. Now I'm not so sure. There is more. When the doc returns from taking Alexis and Mrs. R. to see him, she will give us more details. … As soon as we can." He hangs up his phone and stops pacing.

"Captain wants us back as soon as we get the rest of the information."

"Lanie?" Kate's broken and weak voice conveys her question, _How bad is it really?_

"Kate, come here. Girl … I … you have to prepare yourself. He's not going to wake up for days. Umm damn it, Kate, he may not make it. I can't lie to you." Lanie pulls Kate deeper into their hug and starts sobbing. She needs it badly and so does Kate. Her heart is breaking, knowing how much writer-boy has done to bring the deeply troubled Beckett back to enjoying life since they first met. Lanie's trying not to think about the possibility that Kate may have waited too long.

_**At the precinct …**_

Gates is talking to someone on the phone, "Henry Smith, Captain Gates, I need you to pull all video of Homicide for the last six weeks. I want every second of footage that has Richard Castle. Make me five copies. … No, give me raw footage even if he is not talking. If he appears in the precinct. … I do not care how long that will take. Start with yesterday. Work back the last week. That is the priority, but I want it back to mid-March. March 15th for now."

She disconnects and then makes another call … "Hello, Captain Gates from the 12th. I will need to see him ASAP. It is about Richard Castle. Oh, and Gloria? Tell him Slaughter is involved. I am calling I.A. next. … Eleven is fine." Gates checks off the Chief of Detectives on the Ride-Along Emergency list on her desk. She works through the list. Internal Affairs, Public Relations, the Commissioner and then the Mayor because of his relationship to Castle.

_**In the corridor outside the Trauma I.C.U. … **_

"Paula, yes dear, he is out of surgery. Alexis and I just saw him. They cannot say beyond he is stable for now. Critical, very critical … Paula, I know he knows, but right now, we all have jobs to do. Alexis asked me to have you prepare a statement. Details on his condition are private, but how we appreciate the fans' support. No flowers, donations to the Johanna Beckett Scholarship Fund would be welcome. See you then." Martha leans back against the wall, bows her head. She has a long list of calls to make as well.

_**Conference Room with Davidson**__**… **_

Jenny is watching, sitting to Kate's left with Lanie to Kate's right, as Dr. Davidson explains in more detail what happened.

"Mr. Castle presented with a rapid thready heartbeat, beating dangerously fast, but weak due to low pressure, caused by his blood loss. His abdomen was rigid and extended, indicating internal bleeding. Visible pain indicators when palpated. Rapid infusion of two units O+ and lactated ringers. … "

For the next forty minutes, Dr. Davidson explained as much as she could. How there were multiple small blood vessels ruptured, not surprising with all the bruising. The tears to the esophagus and intestine were likely from the severe spasm of his body when his spleen ruptured. Micro tears may have already been present. The surprise of finding Castle's spleen closer to his liver than usually found. His liver was lacerated. The damaged areas in the spleen and liver were practically touching, due to the odd position of his spleen. Secondary cause was the preexisting damage to his torso. The rib injuries had to come from additional impacts. There was no way to know if those impacts occurred at the same time the spleen ruptured.

"Detectives, Lanie, Ms. Ryan, that's all I can say at this point. Nurse Ingram is preparing detailed notes and copies of all information will be handed over to you, Detective Esposito. We are putting a rush on getting you the report. Alexis asked for that. Also, against my better judgment, she wants all of you to be allowed to see him. Two at a time, five minutes only. You can visit him three times a day, for now. I have a surgery I must go and prepare for. Here's my card and Nurse Ingram's."

"Amanda, Thank you. All of us … "Lanie is trying to hold it together. The others nod. Ryan and Esposito shake hands with Dr. Davidson as she prepares to leave. Lanie turns to Kate.

"Come on girl, I know you're scared, but you have to do this. He needs you." Kate drops her head as she tries to steady her nerves. Slowly she stands and walks, almost zombie like, as Lanie and Jenny support her slow walk to I.C.U. and Rick. Ryan and Esposito are both on their phones.

_**Chief of Detectives Office … **_

"Chief, I have an update on Mr. Castle and some disturbing information. I assigned Esposito and Ryan last night to handle the preliminary investigation. As it turns out, we will need to proceed, as it appears he has been assaulted."

"Gates, please continue. Captain Jenkins called and said he will take the case, if necessary. Tell me why you feel Internal Affairs needs to handle the investigation."

"Chief, I have the 12th's Tech Department pulling all footage of Mr. Castle from March 15th until last night. Esposito informed me that late yesterday afternoon Detective Slaughter from Gangs apparently assaulted Mr. Castle. At the time, it appeared to be horseplay, as Castle had been riding with Slaughter the last four days."

"I see. I.A. is swamped right now. Can Esposito and Ryan remain objective? Until we know for sure about this punch, it would be best not to have I.A. take it."

"Sir, if anything, Esposito and Ryan will do a more thorough job. They respect Castle and consider him one of their own. The tone when I spoke to Esposito was, well, almost frightening. Esposito, as you know, is former Special Forces. It's clear he wants to know exactly what happened. If someone caused the injuries, Esposito and Ryan will find out."

"I want to be kept in the loop daily. Slaughter has his discipline hearing next week. We may need to postpone in light of this. Overtime and all necessary resources, you'll have those orders in written authorization by the end of the day."

"Understood, Sir. I'm not sure this will be contained in a disciplinary reprimand."

"Gates, you said it was horseplay."

"Sir, yes, that is what it first appeared to be according to Esposito. I am still waiting on the detailed report. The team is at the hospital. Castle was in surgery for twelve hours and is in critical condition."

"Meet with his family, anything needed. I do mean anything." Gates understands whatever the family or the investigation needs. Just let him know.

"I was heading to the hospital next. If that is all, I will go now."

"Gates, are you okay?

"Sir, I like the man. More than I thought possible. He's helpful, dedicated, makes the team better."

"You've never told him or the team have you?"

"No, Sir."

"Today would be a good day. Do not leave important things unsaid. You're a credit to the department, but it wouldn't hurt for your officers to know you care."

"Yes, Sir. I will let you know where we stand by 16:00." A quick exit to avoid losing her composure and Gates is on her phone calling Esposito, before she is even out of the door. The sooner she gets to the hospital the better.

"Esposito, status?"

"Sir, we've met with the doc. We'll have reports ASAP. No proof, but it appears Slaughter's punch triggered the crisis. A domino effect due to some existing injuries, but Slaughter's blow was the linchpin. It likely ruptured Castle's spleen."

"Understood. You and Ryan continue the investigation. I am in route to the hospital. This is your only case. If any of your others need immediate attention, hand them off. How is Beckett?"

"Umm...She's in shock, coming around, but I think we should keep her informed. If I may … let her stay here. At least until we know more. If … well … the doc said seventy-two hours."

"I will speak to her when I get there. Make sure she is not left alone. She's been through too much the last year."

"Thank you, Sir."

"For?"

"Caring. See you shortly." He hung up knowing that Iron Gates would not want to admit to caring.

_**Castle's bedside … **_

Minutes earlier Alexis had left, saying she needed to freshen up and find her Grams. Kate is fighting to control her emotions.

"Kate, we've got you." Lanie assures Kate, as Jenny helps her half carry Kate to Rick's side. Lanie softly lets Kate know she won't hurt rick if she touches him.

"You can and should touch him. He's likely going to feel a little cold. It's because of the room temp and his blood loss." The lack of response or electricity between them shocks Kate when she feels his cold hand. The tears come harder. She strains to silence her sobs.

Fighting to breathe, she leans over placing her hands on the bed. Her tears fall on his hand. She doesn't notice. The sight of Castle so close to death assaulting her mind and body with uncontrollable guilt. Her sobs shaking her physically. "Rick, I'm so sorry … "She has much more she wants to say, but she won't allow it, not until he can see her when she says it.

"Come on, Kate. We need to let him rest. Jenny, how about we take Kate to get some coffee?"

"Sounds great. Give me just a minute." Lanie and Kate walk out while Jenny stays behind. "Rick, we all love you. Please don't give up." Jenny bows her head in prayer, then rushes to catch up with Kate and Lanie.

Ten minutes later the alarms sound and the nurse jumps into action. Code team rushes in … the first of the expected crashes … the fight is back on.

_**Same moment in the conference room … **_

"Mrs. R., it looks like we may need to know more about the smart board. We appreciate that you understand we were doing our job. When Kevin picked up the mouse off the floor, the screen popped to life. Seeing Kate, her mom, Roy, Lockwood and the silhouette marked Mr. Smith? Well, we had to look. Castle should have asked for help. The beatings may be because of this, an attempt at warning him off."

"Javier, Kevin, as I explained, Richard received a phone call shortly after Detective Beckett returned to work. I will explain it to Kate. Is there any way to keep this from becoming public?"

"Mrs. R., the doc said Castle had bruising that may be weeks old. That he had been beaten somewhat regularly for a while. We have to see if it's connected."

"Javier, Richard was insistent that Kate not know about this. I tried to get him to tell her. I assume you have to tell Captain Gates, that you can't just investigate it quietly."

"Kevin, Lanie, and I will talk, but Kate needs to know. Gates, well, we probably have to tell her. There's no question we should tell her."

"Alexis knows a little of this, but not all. For now, I want to keep it that way. I will meet with Kate after lunch." As Martha finishes her statement, they all hear the code call.

"Code Blue, T.I.C.U. 214 … Dr. Davidson T.I.C.U. 214" The call is repeated for three minutes. Not only does the code team race to the room, _the family _rushes to be as close to Rick Castle as possible. All except Beckett, who can't take it any longer. She immediately leaves for the precinct, the one place she can still be in control. Her mind screaming at her to run, while her heart begs her to stay.

The choice by Beckett to flee to her safety zone would prove to be bittersweet. Alexis, Martha, and the others all noticed and each had their own perspective. Minutes later, it would prove for the time being to be fortuitous, as Detective Ethan Slaughter showed up. He was unaware of the overall situation. Only learning an hour earlier of Castle's rush to the hospital, Slaughter came to make sure his "friend" with connections would still be able to testify at his review board hearing the next week.

Slaughter's actual arrival coincided with Dr. Amanda Davidson's. Clearly leering at the stunningly gorgeous doctor from his vantage point, he was about ten feet behind her as she approached the family. Even in scrubs, it was impossible to ignore Amanda's physical charms. At 5'11" tall with dark strawberry blonde hair, an athletic build, her curves were a bit more in line with a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model then the average 37 year old. She was still approached by talent scouts. Slaughter was clearly undressing her while he stalked her from behind. When he finally saw her face, he practically fell over. Striking barely described her smokey green eyes, her lips that drove men of all ages crazy. A brief tempered smile gracing her face when she tells the family she already received word via her pager that the crisis was under control.

"Let me check on Mr. Castle, but Ingram already sent word that his heart rate and pressure were stabilizing. I apologize for not warning you. There will be several of these. I know it's difficult, but it is best if you stay in the waiting room. I promise someone will always come as soon as possible. I will be back." She gave Alexis a quick squeeze to her shoulder and headed into the I.C.U.

Esposito turned on Slaughter, "You come with me." The icy fire in his words stunning everyone. Slaughter stammered and then just chose not argue. He was curious what Esposito's problem was. Ryan was quick to take up the other side. Slaughter was flanked. His timing would prove impeccable.

"Man, did you see that ass and tits on that hot nurse? Better than Beckett's! My boy might just get lucky after all. Since Beckett's so damn frigid." His mind wandering to the brief icy stare by Beckett right before he sucker punched Castle. Laughing as he added, "Is Castle some kind of fairy? Hot chick like Beckett and he's just her partner? I guess he can't take a little punch of initiation either, what a loser." He runs his mouth oblivious to the facts.

If Captain Gates and not been standing behind them, it would have been lights out for Slaughter. Ryan was about to deck him. Instead, Gates surprised all of them when she expertly grabbed his right wrist, a swift take down move to pin his arm behind his back. She shoves him up against the wall. Her patience already gone.

"Slaughter, let me advise you of your rights. You have the right to keep that mouth shut. Don't even think about it. I'm Captain Gates. Consider yourself officially notified you are under investigation and will be held accountable. You need your union rep and an attorney. You are ordered to be at the 12th Precinct tomorrow morning at 9:00 A.M. If you choose not to cooperate, understand that the investigation will be out of the department's hands. You have a slim chance to keep your badge, but if this goes to the District Attorney all bets are off."


	7. Running corrected

_**A/N ...**__ I appreciate the great response to the story. There are consequences to all of life's decisions. Examining the consequences of a seemingly innocent decision, what happens in part because of the decision will it change the future? Set as an A/U in the minutes, hours and days after Headhunters._

_Alexis is not a screaming out of control emotional teenager. Throughout the show she has been wise and mature beyond her years. There are things yet to be learned about her knowledge of what her father's wishes are. They will come out in time._

_**If you do review, please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likely be some. Thank you, for taking the time to write a review.**_

_As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin. Reviews are encouraged and helpful. __To__ the 135 plus who have alerted the story … Thank You._

_Repost__ to fix a key mistake. I apologize._

* * *

**~ Running ~**

**Chapter 7 of Consequences**

* * *

_**Previously ... **_

_"Code Blue, T.I.C.U. 214 … Dr. Davidson T.I.C.U. 214" The call is repeated for three minutes. Not only does the code team race to the room, the family rushes to be as close to Rick Castle as possible. All except Beckett, who can't take it any longer. She immediately leaves for the precinct, the one place she can still be in control. Her mind screaming at her to run, while her heart begs her to stay, her mind won._

_The choice by Beckett to flee to her safety zone would prove to be bittersweet. Alexis, Martha, and the others all noticed and each had their own perspective. Minutes later, it would prove for the time being to be fortuitous, as Detective Ethan Slaughter showed up. He was unaware of the overall situation. Only learning an hour earlier of Castle's rush to the hospital, Slaughter came to make sure __his__ "friend" with connections would still be able to testify at his review board hearing the next week._

* * *

_**Hospital Cafeteria**_

An hour later Captain Gates has been brought up to date on Castle's condition. She has met with Martha and Alexis. She is finally able to sit down over lunch with Esposito and Ryan. Jenny and Lanie stayed with Martha and Alexis in the private waiting room.

"Detectives, I met with the Chief of D's. He wants answers on this and so do I. Have you located Beckett yet?"

"Sir, I've tried, so has Ryan and Lanie. She's not answering."

"Ryan, when we finish lunch, you stay here with the family. Esposito and I will head to the Precinct. I sent uniforms to her apartment. They will report in soon. Ideas?"

"Esposito, Ryan can run a trace on her cell. It's on. She's just not taking calls."

"Okay. Esposito, I have the Techs working on pulling all video of Castle in the precinct going back to March 15th. Should I have them go back further? His behavior has been different for a while now, perhaps that may lead us to what happened."

"Sir, let's see what the video gives us. Castle was not around much in early March. He had that trip to California. Umm … Mrs. Rodgers wants to talk to Beckett as soon as we find her. She says it is important that Beckett hear it from her. Mrs. R won't tell me what it is, just something she knows, and well, Sir, permission to keep that off the record unless it proves to be related to Castle's assault and material information?" Esposito was skirting the edge of the truth. He truly did not know what Martha would say, though he knew what it was about. His nervousness could be explained by stress and lack of sleep. Gates decided to give him a little leeway and benefit of the doubt.

"Esposito, Ryan, I trust your judgment. For now, proceed with discretion. If whatever Mrs. Rodgers has to say is just something personal, then it can remain off the record. However, if it is in any way pertaining to an active case, report it immediately." Gates caught the brief flashes of concern and question in their eyes. They suspected something. She would have to keep a watchful handle on the investigation.

"I'm going to find Jenny and visit Castle. I should have Beckett's phone trace soon. Unless there is anything else?" Ryan, looks a bit anxious to leave Gates realizes. Another check falls into the "there is more than what they have told me" category.

"Ryan, thank Jenny for me, for the department. You have a wonderful wife. Esposito will let you know if you are needed at the precinct." Gates thinks back to the Chief of Ds comment. That it is okay to let the regular members know you care, respect them.

She wonders when she became so hardened that she had walled that off. Her thoughts drifted to Beckett and she recognizes the traits they share. Most of them good, but some, well, they were difficult.

"Ryan, find Beckett's location, I'll go get her." The message in Esposito's eyes is clear, they have to locate Kate. The partners shared their unspoken concern, their fear that Kate is in trouble. She had run off just like during the sniper case in the fall. Gates' phone rang while they were preparing to leave.

"Gates. Okay, keep checking once an hour until you hear from me or she shows up." … "Beckett's not at her apartment. No one at the precinct has seen her."

"We'll find her Captain. Ryan, half an hour?" The first part, a silent message to Gates that Esposito understands she is growing almost as scared as he is feeling. For Ryan, it was a message that they needed the trace now.

"Get to work. I have to go by One P.P. See you at the house. Call me immediately."

* * *

_**12th Precinct Homicide Bullpen**_

Meanwhile, after a hard pounding workout in the gym, Beckett arrives at her desk. The bullpen is amazingly quiet. There are many active cases, and the other teams are out running leads. She barely has time to get a cup of coffee when a young intern from the Tech Department walks in. Kate remembers him from a couple of weeks ago when she picked up her new laptop.

"Excuse me, mam? Is Captain Gates here?"

"I'm Detective Beckett. Captain Gates is not in. Can I help you?"

Glancing down at the authorized list, the young man is relieved to see her name. He is still unsure of being around police officers. Their authority is a bit intimidating. "Yes … ahhh … sorry. I have the video copies she requested. Oh, damn. Well, there are extra copies, but if you will sign here, I can leave them with you. It's evidence for the Castle investigation?" The lack of a case number confuses the intern. When Beckett signs the form, she understands it's not a case, but an official inquiry, so it is noted as Castle 3/15 to 4/19/2012.

Reading the description of what the discs contain, she is immediately thrown into the deep end. The discs have all the times Castle was in the precinct since March 15th. Beckett notices the form says five copies, thirteen DVDs. Remembering what the young man said, she checks. Sure enough, there are ten sets in the two boxes. Somehow, she feels the need to have a copy for herself. If Rick was here, he would call it her Spidey sense. She throws two of the extra DVD sets into her workout bag.

The disc marked 4/19 is the first she watches, in the solitude of the interrogation observation room. She looks through the list displayed and selects the video that ends the day. Telling herself that sometimes you really do need to know the end to the mystery before you read the first chapter. Fifteen minutes later, the tears are pouring down her face. Esposito finds her curled up in a corner, the video paused. Her face on the screen laughing at the hunched image of Castle in pain. Kate never hears his call to Lanie.

"Lanie, I found her. You need to come to interrogation ASAP. See you then." He sends Ryan and Gates a text. "I'm with her. She's okay." He's hoping they will leave it at that.

Lanie turns to Alexis, Martha, and Jenny, as she prepares the white lie and hopes they will understand. "Beckett and Javi need me at the precinct. We'll be back as soon as we take care of things." Alexis barely moves. A mumble seems to be an acknowledgement.

Lanie pulls her phone, and as soon as she clears the I.C.U. doors, she hits Ryan's speed dial.

"Go ahead Lanie."

"Kevin, are you still at the hospital and do you have your unit?"

"I'm just now heading to the precinct, pick you up at the ER entrance."

Two minutes later, Lanie was fastening her seatbelt as Kevin asks the two questions Lanie doesn't want to answer. "How bad is Castle really? What is this going to do to Kate?"

"Kevin, you need to prepare. We may well lose them both." She turns to stare out the passenger side window. Ryan accepts her need to be alone to think, to prepare. There is a robbery call close to the Precinct. After three patrol units and two detectives call in, Ryan joins the response. Lights and sirens will get them to the Precinct faster. When the other units' radio they are on the scene, suspect in custody, he keeps rolling, canceling the siren a block from the station.

Lanie is able to convince Kate to lay down in the overnight on call room. Twenty minutes later, exhaustion takes over and Beckett sleeps for the next three hours. It is somewhat peaceful. Lanie sits close by, reviewing the medical file sent over from the hospital. Captain Gates knocks and Lanie is quick to answer the door.

"How is she?"

"Exhausted of course, scared. You … well … Captain?" a gentle nudge for help.

"Doctor, off the record, until I can tell her myself. I've seen the way she looks at him. I also know things have been strained lately, with the team."

"Captain, she needs to be at the hospital. I hope to convince her to return as soon as she wakes up."

"You're quietly telling me that he's … it's that bad?"

"Yes, it may be. She needs to be there. If not, she will start thinking the worst. That distraction... "

"Let her know I need to see her. I need my best detective on a V.I.P. protective detail for what? The next five days?" A soft smile of confidence and a surprising twinkle appear as Gates sees Lanie's smile in return.

"Captain, why do you hide that side from us?"

"I'm starting to ask myself that. I need to go talk to Esposito and Ryan. Take care of her." A soft touch of her hand to Lanie's forearm, as Gates steps back to find Esposito. "Take care of yourself too Doctor." She turns and heads over to the Observation room. The door is open, and she saw the detectives enter just moments earlier.

Forty-five minutes later, she is hanging up from her call to the Chief of Detectives, having explained what was found. The clear evidence of Detective Slaughter assaulting Richard Castle.

"Esposito, Ryan, we have our work cut out for us. I know you want to visit Castle, so let's plan on meeting back here at 8:00. We will be preparing the written notification of suspension, pending a hearing in fifteen days. Slaughter will be facing officer misconduct and reckless behavior, among other charges. Chief of Ds insists its policy, not criminal. I disagree, but he is adamant. The Mayor agrees, says Castle would not want to hurt the NYPD?" Gate's is wondering if the Mayor should be speaking about what Castle would want, considering the circumstances.

"Sir, that's … " Ryan doesn't get the chance to finish as Esposito cuts him off.

"Wall of Blue, that's bullshit. Sir!" Esposito knows that this incident should not be protected by the silent wall thrown up to protect cops.

"When Castle wakes up, if he prefers to press charges, he will have the option."

"If he doesn't wake up. If he … " Esposito breaks down. He has lost brothers before, and the memories, along with the fresh one of Castle battered, fighting to live, is too much.

Lanie and Kate walk in on a scene they never imagined. Victoria Gates, consoling a distraught Javier Esposito, and a Kevin Ryan who is barely holding on. Beckett runs to her brothers. Lanie beats her to Javier. Gates welcomes the chance to take a breath. She watches them for a few minutes as she searches for the words.

"Kate, Javier, Kevin, I should apologize. I do apologize. I hope you understand how much I value all of you. Your crazy unorthodox team is special. I'm still trying to figure out Castle, but damn him, I can't help it, he's … "

"We know … infectious, addicting, irritating and loveable." The three teammates smiled and nearly laughed as they all said the same thing.

"Almost. You forgot helpful, effective, and how much better you are with him. I need to let him know I value his contributions, to cases, and to each of you. I haven't known you very long, but you are happier when he's around." She leaves out that she's seen them brooding the last few weeks. "Beckett, you need to take your laptop. Your primary assignment will be his protection for the next few days, until we know more about what happened."

"Yes, Sir. I can review the video." Kate's grateful to be free to be near him, but also needs to contribute to the investigation.

"Beckett, Captain, I think Ryan and I should review the video." Esposito is hoping it doesn't sound overly protective. He saw where the video was paused and knows Kate feels responsible.

"Javi, I'm okay. I know what you are thinking. I was just tired and it was a shock. I feel bad for not realizing he was injured. I didn't punch him. We all know there is more. I have to help." Strong, confident, kick ass with a hint of need sells her plea.

"Kate, promise if it starts to get to you, that you will stop. I don't think there will be much. We just need to look for changes in his body language. See what we missed. Ryan and I will review it as well. Lanie, you mind watching with Kate?" Kate hugs Esposito, Ryan and Lanie to show her agreement to the terms. It's a new side of Beckett, acceptance of those who care about her.

"I need to check on a few things. As your Captain, you are ordered to eat. Personally, I would be honored if you allow me to buy you dinner at Remy's."

Lanie speaks up. "Captain, Martha has the caterers preparing Italian. She insisted we all be there if possible. Oh, need to let uniforms know that any patrol is welcome to stop as well. Crazy woman told the caterers to feed everyone. Apparently they asked for a number, I think she said 500." The laughter is a little deeper as they realize that Castle has more in common with his mother than he admitted.

Gates left to take care of some housekeeping with the other squads. Daily paperwork she passes off to the acting Sergeant, making note of the vacant command position that needed addressing soon. She returned fifteen minutes later to find the team watching the video of Slaughter's punch.

"I need to show this to Dr. Davidson. I'm confident this punch is the blow that caused the liver and spleen damage. Still a lot to figure out. Can you make me a copy?"

"Lanie, we have five copies already, oh wait. Kevin, burn a copy. These are evidence." Kate starts to speak up, but Ryan is already putting a blank DVD in the machine.

"Sorry to interrupt. Dr. Parrish, we will need you here at 9:00 A.M. Slaughter will be given written notification of misconduct charges and suspended. Before we head to the hospital, I have something for each of you detectives."

Beckett, Esposito and Ryan are curious. Kate nibbles on her lower lip, while Esposito is ready to slap Ryan, who looks like a kid on Christmas morning. It's Kevin's nervousness about the unknown coming from Gates.

"A sealed copy is already in your personnel file, and per Roy Montgomery's instructions, there were copies sent by him to undisclosed recipients. Let me read you the letter Roy left."

"_To: New Captain_

_12th Precinct Homicide Division, NYPD_

_From: Captain Roy Montgomery_

_12th Precinct Homicide Division, NYPD_

_Captain: _

_When you find this letter and the attached envelopes, I pray you have the decency to use this information wisely. I have already ordered sealed copies of these documents to be placed in the personnel files of Detectives Katherine Beckett, Javier Esposito and Kevin Ryan. I have little doubt that I will not survive the day ahead, certainly not the night. Unfortunately, you may be part of the hornet's nest._

_I have prepared for that possibility. In order to do so, I sent copies of the documents and other information to a number of people that I know I can trust. The copies included instructions to keep the information sealed, unless harm comes to the detectives, Richard Castle, or their families._

_The recipients range from friends, to media, trusted colleagues, and even a few elected officials. All of them are fine upstanding people. If you are a puppet for the Dragon, be sure he knows of this. I may not have the information to bring him down, but if any harm comes to the detectives, Richard Castle or anyone close to them, it will trigger the fail safe. The corruption and crimes will come out. The dragon will be destroyed. _

_I pray that it will not come at the cost of any more innocent lives._

_For my role in all of this, I can only offer my regrets and apologies. I tried to do things the right way once I was able to move beyond the terrible mistake I made. The attached documents and written orders to the detectives confirming the verbal orders given one hour ago are my final step in that process._

_Please, take care of the detectives._

_Sincerely,_

_Captain Roy Montgomery,_

_12th Precinct Homicide Division, NYPD"_

"All of you are looking at me like you have no idea what he is talking about. Either you are bluffing, and I do not want to play poker with any of you, or he covered your butts. The orders are for an undercover ongoing investigation of corruption within the department. Specifically, it orders you not to disclose his involvement or that of John Raglan and Gary McAllister, or anyone, until you have the evidence to take to a grand jury. I do not know how he got this authorized, but our Commissioner, City Attorney, three Judges, the F.B.I., and the U.S. Attorney for New York approved the orders. In short, not reporting what you know was covered, immunity from prosecution … so what have you not told me about Montgomery's death?"

Beckett starts to speak, "Captain …"

After realizing the day has already been overwhelming for all of them, Gates decides to delay learning what was held back about Roy Montgomery's murder, "Wait, tell me tomorrow. We've all had enough for one day."

New tears, this time for the man they admired. Even now nearly a year after his death he was still protecting them. When they made their pact to keep his secret, to protect his name and pension, they were emotional and failed to think about the ramifications. Once Beckett was shot, the boys and Castle kept the silence. A big roll of the dice. Obstruction of Justice, Tampering with Evidence, and for the three detectives, Dereliction of Duty, were some of the possible felony charges.

Beckett asked with a simple one word implied question, a nervous one … "Sir?"

"We need to deal with Castle's case first. Though, I suspect that it may tie to whatever you have been secretly investigating. Tomorrow detectives. We will meet here at 9:00 A.M for Slaughter and then you will fill me in on this confidential investigation. Let's go see Mr. Castle."

* * *

_**Lennox Hill Trauma I.C.U.**_

Thirty-five minutes later they approach the Trauma I.C.U. Martha is consoling Paula and Gina, neither of whom remotely resemble the powerful poised professionals they are. Kate starts to feel nauseous and finds it difficult to breathe. "Lanie?"

As Kate whispered her name with her shaking voice, Lanie felt Kate's grip on her arm tighten. "Kate, let's take you back to the waiting room. You should probably eat first. You'll feel better."

For the second time that day, Alexis watches as Kate turns around and walks away. She wants to understand, but it hurts to see Kate refuse to visit, especially after she argued so Kate was allowed to visit.

For Alexis, the belief that her Dad had to be mistaken about Kate not loving him was starting to fall apart. She was not ready to give up on the love she thought they shared, but Kate needed to step up soon.

* * *

_**If you do review, please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likely be some. Thank you, for taking the time to write a review.**_


	8. Self Inflicted

_**A/N ...**__ I appreciate the great response to the story. There are consequences to all of life's decisions, some good and some bad. Examining the consequences of a seemingly innocent decision, what happens in part because of the decision will it change the future? Set as an A/U in the minutes, hours and days after Headhunters._

_Alexis is not a screaming out of control emotional teenager. Throughout the show she has been wise and mature beyond her years. There are things yet to be learned about her knowledge of what her father's wishes are. They will come out in time._

_**If you do review, please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likely be some. Thank you, for taking the time to write a review. **_

**_An old song favorite inspired the early theme ... LIAR!_**

**_Remove he spaces ... http:/www. youtube. com/watch?v= mq5_pEO8a8U_**

_As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin. Reviews are encouraged and helpful. __To__ the 150 plus who have alerted the story … Thank You._

* * *

_**Consequence Chapter 8**_

_**~ ~ Self Inflicted Shock ~ ~**_

* * *

_**Private Waiting Room ~ Trauma I.C.U.**_

Kate looked around as everyone was enjoying the delectable Italian feast. She drifted back to those tortured days after she had sent Rick away. Her father was reluctant to bring her food from outside the hospital. He was steadfast in his old school belief that while bland hospital food was surely nutritious, it was also best for her recovery. Rick would have made sure she got flavorful and nutritious, causing Kate to regret even more her choice to send Rick away.

As she picked at her food, she welcomed the incredible taste, but could only manage a few forkfuls. How could she enjoy anything when Rick was lying in bed alone, cold, lifeless. She told Lanie she was going to the restroom.

**_Rick's Room - Trauma I.C.U._**

Three minutes later, she slipped into Rick's room, shuffling towards his bed. His color was pasty, his skin seemed dull, almost chalk like. She tried to remember what the readings meant. Which ones should be low? High? The beeping of the heart monitor was like a metronome … tic … tic ... tic. Slow and steady beeps were good, rapid or irregular bad.

Kate fell into a near trance while holding the slow beeps in her mind. She wanted to will Rick's heart to stay strong and steady, as she stood at the side of the bed. The nurse gently asked her to step aside so she could record vitals and check drains.

Kate ended up on the other side of the bed. The side farthest away from the door, leaving her safely surrounded by walls and the bed.

Beep...beep...beep...The sound from the monitor of his slow beating heart hypnotized Kate deepening her state of suspension.

She leaned back against the wall. Closing her eyes, remembering, seeing his blue eyes filled with tears.

_The hot splash as __his __tears__ fell on her cheek and neck. His words_ …

"_**Oh, Kate. Shh. Kate, please. Stay with me, Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay? Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate."**_

A tear crept out of her left eye, her head tilted back, it rolled out of the outer corner, down her cheek. She remembered that feeling. Reaching up, she was shocked at how wet her cheek was. How real the memories still burned. The pain in his face etched in her mind forever. Wanting to let him know, unable to speak. _No, Rick, do not be sad, you made it all worthwhile. You made life fun again._

Losing sight of him, then vague hazy dreams, finally there he was. The joy in his eyes was back. She tried to stop herself, to tell him the truth. The lies rolled out of her mouth so easily, her memories brought shame. … At each thought, she wanted to scream after the cruel words she had spoken. … Liar!

"_I hear that you tried to save me." _LIAR!

_CASTLE: Yeah, I uh...You heard? You don't remember me tackling you?_

"_No, I don't remember much of anything. I, um, remember that I was on the podium and then I remember everything just going black." _LIAR!

_CASTLE: You don't remember... the gunshot?_

"_No." _LIAR!

"_Castle, I'm really tired right now." _LIAR!_… _she had pushed him away without explanation, hiding in her lies. She remembered seeing him try to hide the new pain she had caused. She let him walk out, dejected.

Kate wondered when the lying had become so effortless. She was so stunned by the realization that it was how she dealt with him, avoided honesty about her feelings, that she ended up talking to herself out loud. She was aware the lies after her shooting were hardly the first lies she told Castle.

"_Well, Kate are you proud of yourself? What were you thinking? _

_I only told the white lie to cover my plans with Tom, so things wouldn't be awkward._

_That s__ure worked out well. _

_Shut up. _

_When he caught you in the lie, it sent him into the arms of Gina. She was so smug when they walked away._

_Nothing to say, Kate? Then explain the lie about Royce._

_What do you mean?_

_Somehow, __he seemed to suspect the truth,__ after you denied having had feelings for Royce._

_He did, didn't he?_

_**Of course. So Kate, how many other times has he seen through your lies and hiding?"**_

A blaring flat tone crashes into her world. The automated code call penetrating like a gunshot.

_"Code Blue, T.I.C.U. 214 … Dr. Davidson T.I.C.U. 214"_

Before Kate could interrogate herself any further reality interrupted, yet again. Kate was frozen in place, unable to move. By the time she could, she was trapped. She was backed into the corner of the wall to the left side of the bed. The code team never saw her until it was too late. One of the carts blocked her escape, a nurse screamed at her not to watch. She stared right at him, refusing to look away, to leave him. If this was the end, it was the only way to let him know he wasn't alone.

In the private waiting room, the rest of the family was relaxing as they ate, oblivious to the chaos and panic in Rick's room. After the earlier code call had panicked the family, Martha asked if it was possible to turn off the speakers. It was. Thirty minutes later the family finally started to stretch their legs and heading to I.C.U. to take their turns visiting Rick.

They found Kate outside his room. She was quiet. Her tears had dried up. With the help of a nurse, she had not only washed off the evidence, but her makeup was fresh, too. No one saw her Alice Cooper impression, her tear stained horrified eyes.

Paula was the first to visit after dinner, she needed to get to her office to deal with the media inquiries. Gina and Paula were united in how statements would be issued. Black Pawn would refer all inquiries to Paula's office.

Martha was with the "family" and Alexis had gone home with Gina after they had enjoyed an early dinner. It had been Martha's idea to get Alexis out of the hospital for some fresh air. They needed more clothes, a few books, Alexis's IPod and laptop, makeup, and Martha needed time to talk to Beckett and the boys.

"Kate, I need a few minutes with Richard. Why don't you come in with me?" Kate shook her head no in response. Martha took Kate's hands, offering a simple look of understanding.

"It's okay, Kiddo." She didn't want to force the fragile detective, misunderstanding why Kate did not want to go in. "Kate, wait here dear. I need to talk to you, Javier, and Kevin."

Gates was coming out as Martha went in. She walked over to Beckett. "Beckett, you need to visit with him. I know it's hard. I need to go, but call me if you need anything."

"Thank you, Sir." Unable to talk about what she had just witnessed, Kate held it all in. She felt a strange, new connection with him, though she could not exactly be sure why. Something about seeing him so near death. That shared experience strengthened their bond. She just needed time to process what it meant.

"Vicki, in situations like this or off duty. That is, if you don't mind, of course." A faint, barely noticeable, hint of a smile. No physical contact shared between them. It was another step towards thawing their icy relationship.

The family was pushing the visitation rule. Martha, Javier, Lanie, Kevin and a barely awake Jenny were standing around his bed. Kevin and Jenny asked the others if they would mind joining in a prayer. Kevin offered simple, heartfelt thanks for all of the good in Richard Castle and strength for everyone to help in his recovery.

"Thank you, Kevin. My son and I are not overly religious, but that means a lot. I need to talk to Kate now. Javier, Kevin please join me. Would you two ladies mind staying here? I know the chairs are _so not comfortable_, but your being with him would give me peace of mind." The hint of Rick in her words was embraced by all, the touch of laughter in response. A welcome distraction.

_**Minutes Later Back In The Private Waiting Room ~ Trauma I.C.U.**_

"Kevin, were you able to pick up that USB drive from our loft?" Martha inquired having told him earlier where Richard kept one of the backups of the information.

"Yes, Mrs. R. Should I load it?"

"Please. Kate, before I have Kevin show you the information, I need to explain. It will be very emotional, but you need to know. I don't think it has anything to do with Richard's condition. Javier and Kevin found this last night. I have known about it for months, sworn to secrecy by Richard."

"Martha? Ahhh, if Javi and Kevin think I need to see this, then of course." But there is hesitation and she is looking from Martha to Kevin and finally Javi. Motherly concern evident in Martha's eyes, hurt and concern in Kevin's, fear almost warning in Javi's. "You all are scaring, me. Why are all of you so concerned about me? Castle is the one laying in there … " She chokes up and looks at Martha.

"Kate, this is not how you should be told. Richard made a decision last summer He wanted to ensure all of the information was available. He later learned that Roy Montgomery had similar concerns, as well as for your safety.

You went to see Richard at the book signing, something about swings. Anyway, that's not important. What is, is that some mysterious man called Richard to keep you away from your mom's case. If you stopped looking, then there was some way this man could prevent them from killing you. Richard calls him Mr. Smith. I guess that is his name.

Richard agonized over how to tell you, finally choosing to not tell you. He told me that he would accept whatever consequence there was. I tried to get him to change his mind. He refused, said that you needed time, again something about a swing set, promises to Roy and your Dad. I won't pretend to understand it all.

I thought I knew how you felt about Richard. I was hopeful. Now, all I can ask, as his mother, is have you ever loved someone so much you would do anything to protect them? If you have, than you have the ability to understand why he made the choice to wait to tell you. It wasn't my place to tell you, but the current situation changed that.

I hope in time you can accept his gift of love, even if you are angry at first. I really cannot explain the information. Kevin, go ahead and show it to her, or if you like, go to the loft and show her the smart board."

"Martha, tell me … please … what did he do? He didn't. No, please tell me he didn't." Kate already knew the truth. Rick pulled her back from chasing her mom's killer, only to end up doing that exact thing. The three faces couldn't hide it from her. "He promised we would do it together." Her eyes had gone wide at first, as the reality of what Rick had done set in. She shook her head, as her voice trembled with fear, for Rick, his family, her father and finally herself.

She was furious, hurt, scared, grateful, overwhelmed, angry, worried. "Martha, I'm sorry. He shouldn't have done this. He put you and Alexis … no, no, no. It stops. I need time. … Geez ... Guys, I need to see the smart board." She jumped up and ran out of the room.

"Javier, Kevin, try to help her understand. I am going to my son now to apologize to him for having told her." Martha accepted the consequence for her son, now she was hoping he would accept her decision.

_**Three Hours Later ~ Private Waiting Room ~ Trauma I.C.U.**_

Three hours later, Kate was back in the private waiting area. She approached Martha and Alexis. They were both asleep, so Kate went to visit briefly with Rick. His condition, she learned, had taken a turn for the worse. He was now fighting a major infection. Nurse Ingram was staying the night, taking turns with Dr. Davidson sleeping in the on-call room.

"Detective Beckett. This infection is serious. It was expected, but just so you know, his body is fighting. His hands will be cold, still, and his forehead will feel like fire in comparison. I will be right outside if you need me." Kate was terrified, wanting to scream at him to wake up, rip the oxygen mask off and laugh at her for the terribly cruel and beyond late April fool's joke. Of course, she did understand how real it was. The infections and setbacks in the first month of her recovery were still painfully real memories. Understanding that Rick likely faced a similar fight, a long painful experience even with pain medications, left Kate needing to focus on what had led to this moment.

Kate needed her coffee, the nectar that allowed her to focus when she most needed to. "Excuse me, Nurse Ingram?"

"Call me Joan. How can I help?" Years of patient and family member care allowed Ingram to sense the visibly scared woman was seeking something.

"Any place nearby to get good coffee? Would you like one?"

"That would be wonderful. There is a nice stand down next to the cafeteria. It's open all night. Tell Joe it's for Joan and he will know."

"Great, I'll be back."

Twenty minutes later, Kate was sitting at the small table in the private waiting area. Martha and Alexis were still asleep. Lanie had fallen asleep as well. Kate didn't want to wait for morning.

The new laptop from the NYPD was still foreign to Beckett, but the software designed to track timelines for cases was not. Beckett went to work. It took her nearly an hour to get the basics of the timeline and data on Castle's injuries entered into the software.

She realized there were more unknowns than answers. Slaughter was easy. The nagging question was when did the other injuries occur? An MRI was going to be done in the morning. Dr. Davidson had told them it would likely provide a better understanding of the injuries and when they happened.

Kate started thinking about Rick's behavior. Was his pulling away, refusing to talk, and all the other changes over the last few weeks because of … well what was the cause? Building theory was so much easier when they did it together. It would help to have more information as well. She was painfully aware how much she wanted to be able to admit that to Rick, how much she hoped to share those thoughts soon.

After walking backward on the timeline starting from yesterday, Kate shook her head hard in frustration, her hair flying. Realizing that all of this was barely a day old came as a shock. She made a list of questions for to Slaughter answer, but that only covered the last few days.

There was a ten-day gap going back to the end of the previous case when her plan to tell him how she felt was interrupted, by "_the bimbo_". That was over two weeks ago. She wound up crying on Lanie's shoulder when Castle had declined again to talk. Four days of the blonde then no Castle until he showed up Monday asking about that loser Slaughter.

She cursed herself. "Damn it, Kate! Think!... Oh, the Boylan Case." She realized how tired she must be if she had lost the memory of that moment. How could she have forgotten his refusal to go for drinks? She quickly made a note about the noticeable change during that case.

"What happened Castle? Were you threatened? Attacked? Why didn't you come to me for help?" Kate was talking louder than she realized. She was talking through theory as if he was there to answer. He might not be there, but there was another Castle, who was listening, who needed the same answers. Alexis hesitated, sensing Beckett was deep in thought, and not wanting to interrupt her.

Kate was grateful the tech had synced up her laptop with her desktop. It allowed her to pull up the calendar she kept to track cases, events, and appointments. Boylan Plaza Bombing, March 26th... it was two days later that they closed the case. Recalling how Castle had been then suddenly he changed during the Boylan case.

Wasn't Castle was on the verge of saying something when Ryan had interrupted? They closed the case later that day and Castle left abruptly rather than taking the rare opportunity to talk. Why?

She dug into her bag for the DVDs. They were labeled with dates. She didn't expect anything, but maybe they had all missed something with the pressure of the case.

When she got the DVD loaded there were only a few videos listed for Castle during the case. Well, there were several long ones where he was in the bullpen, dismissing those for now. Her eyes run down the brief descriptions of each video. Noticing the one with the TV reporter she pulled it up to watch.

Twenty minutes later, the only tell she noticed was uncharacteristic snide comments, they didn't quite fit… Kate couldn't put her finger on it. She remembered thinking similar thoughts at the time. Snide comments were not the way Castle usually talked to suspects, he was direct, comments always hit home.

She moved on to the video with the first suspect, where Castle had watched with Esposito during the interrogation. As she expected, nothing there, he just stood watching.

She resigned herself to watching the long videos without sound in the bullpen. Maybe there would be something visible when Castle was walking. She was thinking aloud, but softly, not wanting to wake Martha or Alexis, but Alexis was still awake, lost in her own thoughts. Kate was about to play one of the bullpen videos, when she noticed a short video … _"Rick Castle, Observation, Alone."_

Curious about when Castle had watched an interrogation alone, she selected play. She talked to herself a bit louder, _"I was with Castle almost the entire case. When was he around for interrogations or interviews and I wasn't? What can this be?" _Her voice was just loud enough to catch Alexis' attention. Hearing Kate's voice, Alexis decided it was a good time to try and talk. She walked quietly towards the detective, in order not to wake the others.

The video flashed onto Kate's screen. At first, he was just watching then... _wait, what was that_?

Kate was beyond stunned at the visible transformation that came over Rick. From his usual serious attention during interrogation to one of shock, anguish, and anger. She hit restart and watched it again. This time, she turned up the volume as the video started again.

The scene played out again. He was silent as he drank his coffee. A smile crossed Kate's face, thankful he had brought her coffee again, then remembering she threw it out. Wait... what? Kate backed the video up and played the last part again. Paying close attention to Rick's words and tone.

"_All this time. You remembered?"_

Wow, when did Rick ever show such anger during an interrogation? The last part was dark angry. Whatever Castle had heard or seen, caused a nearly instantaneous reaction. Kate had to know. This had to be why he pulled away from talking at the end of the case.

"_Okay Rick, who were you watching? What did some witness say that upset you so much?" _Kate blurted out not realizing Alexis was right behind her. The young woman was as stunned as Beckett, too shocked to speak. Few people ever caused such a response in her father, like Kate, she wanted to know who sparked it.

Kate reached over and clicked on a link, a related interrogation. Alexis braced herself for something monumental, prepared for anything, or so she thought.

As the new unknown video started, the one of Castle in observation played in a smaller window. Kate thought back to the training on how to navigate the observation video. The two videos synced by time stamps embedded in the frames of the video tie the related scenes together. The synchronization will make it clear exactly what caused the reaction by Castle.

Kate, was instantly mortified, Castle was watching her. She knew what was coming, still she couldn't turn it off … her cry of horror, muffled by her hands as she tried to control her sobs, sounded like stifled laughter to anyone listening, to Alexis just two feet away.

Alexis watched until she heard Kate on the video clearly say that she had remembered every second of when she was shot. It was impossible to miss the changes on her father's face, as Kate told the suspect. Alexis didn't know exactly why it upset her father so deeply. Whatever the reason, there was no denying that when Beckett admitted remembering, it caused her father visible pain. Oh, wait … "_All this time_ … "

Quietly Alexis backed away, hopeful that Kate would not realize she was there. When she reached the couch safely, she laid back down. Closing her eyes, she thought back to the conversation she overheard between her father and Grams …

"_Richard what are you planning on doing about Kate remembering, now that this case is over? You will be hurt even more if you try to continue to work with her. You've already tried to pretend you can turn off how you feel."_

"_Mother, I have arranged to shadow Detective Slaughter from the gangs unit. I need research on gang activities for the book. After all this time, Beckett pretending she did not remember, it will be good to get away. I thought I could do it. You were right. I realize there is no way to just turn off what I feel."_

"_What do you feel Richar__d? The truth?"_

"_Honestly mother, I feel used, cheap, foolish to start. And that's not even the half of it. Even more so, after this case with Beckett so quick to welcome the Brit. She even talked to Gates, who approved without a fight. Compared to __the irony of my having to call Bob in the fal__l... I will always love her, but clearly, she doesn't feel the same."_

"_Well then, what are you going to do about it?"_

"_After I finish the research on gangs, as difficult as it will be, I need to move on. I've worked my last case with Detective Beckett."_

"_Richard, darling, you can't be serious. Talk to her, tell her you know, she needs to hear you tell her you love her when she isn't fighting to breathe."_

"_No mother, I asked her several times if she remembered anything. I am certain she did. She denied it every time__. __Fed me more lies. She needed time I understood, but the lies … no."_

_The anger in her father's last statement was punctuated by the sound of glass shattering. Alexis had quickly moved away, not wanting to be discovered lying on the couch in the great room. Neither Grams, nor her father, would believe she had not heard. She didn't want to know, but she did. Two weeks later, it only made things more confusing._

Thirty minutes later, Alexis pretended to "wake up" slowly rising from the couch. It was time to go see her father. She walked by Beckett, and noticed Kate was still watching the video. She paused. The video played again, and again. Alexis thought to herself, "Well, at least Beckett's not laughing."

Beckett only noticed Alexis as she slipped out the door. What Beckett had no way of knowing as Alexis left the room was how troubled the young woman was, that she was not ready to talk to Kate. Alexis desperately needed honest answers. Did Kate love her dad as Alexis had thought or not? Would she be there for him?There was a very important decision that was coming and only a short time until it arrived.

* * *

_**If you do review, please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likely be some. **_

_**Thank you, for taking the time to write a review.**_


	9. Video Proof

_**A/N ...**__ I appreciate the great response to the story. There are consequences to all of life's decisions, some good and some bad. Examining the consequences of a seemingly innocent decision, what happens in part because of the decision will it change the future? Set as an A/U in the minutes, hours and days after Headhunters._

_Alexis is not a screaming out of control emotional teenager. Throughout the show she has been wise and mature beyond her years. There are things yet to be learned about her knowledge of what her father's wishes are. They will come out in time._

_**If you do review, please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likely be some. Thank you, for taking the time to write a review.**_

_As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin. Reviews are encouraged and helpful. To the 150 plus who have alerted the story … Thank You._

* * *

_**Consequence Chapter 9**_

* * *

_**You Can't Hide From The Camera**_

* * *

**Lennox Hill T.I.C.U.**

The night would prove difficult for Alexis, Kate and Rick. Tossing and turning throughout the night Alexis and Kate were worried and stressed. Rick's body was raging with infection and his heart rate crept dangerously high at about 4:00 A.M. Mercifully, neither Alexis or Kate witnessed this battle. The medications administered quickly brought his irregular and rapid heartbeat back under control. At 5:10 in the morning, Dr. Davidson made the call to proceed with the scheduled MRI.

The coveted first time slot of the day was set aside for Rick. The MRI scan would provide invaluable information about his various injuries. He was wheeled back into his room shortly after 7:05 A.M. Dr. Davidson and the chief radiologist were already looking through the scans. The detailed report would come later, but the early reading was telling.

The broken ribs had occurred very recently, likely hours or a few days earlier than when the spleen ruptured. Interestingly, the right rib was broken earlier then the two on the left side. Some of the bruising was very deep, layered; consistent with multiple impacts over a period of time. The more detailed report would help sort out the timeline involved. Dr. Davidson knew this was the type of information the police would need immediately.

Turning to the radiologist, she stated what he was already thinking, "Someone has been using Mr. Castle as a punching bag for a while now. How soon can you get the detailed report? The police will be anxiously waiting for it."

"I'll put a rush on it. The first pass will take care of anything you might need to know. Then I will work on figuring out the timeline of the older injuries." Davidson knows the radiologist will advise her first of any concerns regarding Castle's recovery and expects the detailed analysis of his the injuries to be completed in a few hours.

"I appreciate that. Here is Dr. Parish's card. When you email the report, please copy Dr. Parish as well. I need to go talk to his family."

Ten minutes later, Dr. Davidson finds everyone just before they are about to head out. "Alexis, I have some preliminary information from the M.R.I. this morning. Detective Esposito and Dr. Parish need the information as well. May I talk to everyone, or do you want to discuss it privately first?"

Alexis looks to Martha who is sitting next to her on the right and to Esposito, who is across the room. "Grams, I think Dr. Davidson should just tell all of us. Since we are all here anyway."

"Of course kiddo. Javier, Kate, everyone needs to know. They will find out who did this." Martha is visibly struggling. The stress is taking a toll on her. The lack of Martha's ever-present confidence and style is evident to those who know her. She tries to keep up her image, but fatigue and worry are taking their toll. Her voice is weary and less confident than those who know her are used to.

"Dr. Davidson, let's get started, please." Alexis would prefer to be with her father. However, her responsibility as his temporary guardian requires she listen to the doctor.

"Alexis, Martha, everyone, I just left our Chief Radiologist after discussing the preliminary findings from the MRI performed this morning. He will provide his detailed findings as quickly as possible. Dr. Parish, you should have the report by late this afternoon.

The preliminary findings are disconcerting. It appears that Mr. Castle's injuries have occurred over several weeks or more. The older injuries are mostly contusions and a few ligament strains. We did determine that his broken ribs most likely occurred recently. However, the broken rib on his right side is a day older or two older than the ones on his left.

None of Mr. Castle's preexisting injuries are directly responsible for his current critical condition. His abdomen and chest were weakened by the older injuries, but whatever caused the powerful impact that ruptured his spleen and lacerated his liver is the reason he is my patient."

A rather anxious Alexis is trying to understand. Her eyes dart to Beckett, Grams, Esposito and Ryan. "Dr. Davidson, will my father be okay?"

"Alexis, it is too soon to know. The infection is being stubborn despite our efforts; we are doing all we can. The earlier injuries have left your father in a weakened state and that is going to be a factor. There is a strong possibility that things will get a bit worse, before we see a turn for the better. My earlier estimate was optimistic on when your father should be recovered enough that we could let him wake up. I will be able to tell you more later, but you need to prepare for it being at least ten days or longer. Even then, he will likely have limited consciousness and a long recovery ahead. I wish I had better news for you." Dr. Davidson looks at Martha, who had visibly stirred at the news. She made a note on her iPad to talk with the older woman privately, about the physical signs that were of concern to the Doctor.

Kate stuttered as she tried to form the question, "Dr .. Dr Aman … sorry Dr. Davidson, just how long will Rick's recovery likely take? How long until he can come back to work with me?" Kate skipped several important things. Things like how soon he would be talking, laughing, walking, and going home. She had thought about all of them, but the idea of a prolonged period without him by her side terrified her. Losing focus, she had blurted out a question that seemed rather self-centered.

"Alexis may I?"

"Please."

"Detective Beckett, if Mr. Castle does fight off this infection, as I believe he should, then he will be facing months of recovery and rehab just to reach the point where he can take care of himself. What exactly does he do as a consultant to the NYPD? I assume it's … I guess you would call it desk duty." Her eyes are searching the faces of everyone and she sees instantly that her impression of what her patient did was far off base.

"Rick's my partner. He helps with theory, on scene investigation, interrogation of suspects, witness interviews. He's a detective in every sense, except he doesn't have a badge or carry a gun." Kate's voice is strong, powerful, and confident. She is proud of Rick and what he stands for, it's clearly evident in the tone of her voice and the admiration radiating from her eyes.

"Are you telling me that Mr. Castle does everything a regular police officer does in the line of duty except he … " The looks her audience give her are enough to know the answer even before she has finished her thought.

"Never mind, I see it in your eyes. Detective Beckett, Alexis, Martha, there is no easy way to say this. Please, do not rush to judgement here. It is too soon to predict the extent of his recovery.

No matter the level of Mr. Castle's recovery, going back to being a police officer without a badge will be very unlikely. He will have lingering issues for the foreseeable future. I will have a clearer picture after the detailed report from the MRI is available."

Dr. Davidson silently hoped that Alexis and the others will not ask for the reasons why. She knows that they have enough on their minds already, and the details of what is likely coming for Castle as he recovers would overwhelm his loved ones. Perhaps not Detective Beckett, who recently faced a long recovery of her own.

If it is possible, and I do not believe it will be, plan on a minimum of eighteen months. Honestly, I would strongly suggest he retires from consulting in that capacity. If he was an actual police officer, I would recommend he be medically retired from service."

Alexis ran from the room in tears. Esposito, who was the closest of the family that was in any condition to respond, followed. The latest news rocks Martha and Kate to their cores. They had assumed Richard would be good as new in a few months.

Martha spoke with determination, yet her emotions and health caused her to fight for every word, "Doctor, we need the best. Whatever is needed. Richard will never work a crime scene again. I will make sure of it. Kate, I am sorry. He's done."

Martha struggled to stand. She slowly turned to go look for her frightened granddaughter. Her words to Kate were final. No one doubted that Martha meant it. The news had just changed the future for everyone in the family.

* * *

**12th Precinct**

A short time later, Beckett, Lanie, Esposito and Ryan walk off the elevator and into the bullpen. Captain Gates is waiting, seeing their arrival, she puts the morning report down, and heads out to discuss the plans regarding Slaughter. What the team shares with her about Castle's injuries and his prognosis is not expected.

"Dr. Parish, as soon as possible, review all of the information available. That detailed report is the priority when you receive it. Esposito and Ryan, find out what happened. If you need more help, let me know. Beckett, you need to go back over everything, identify when Castle started acting strangely, and figure out why." The last words are like a punch to Beckett's stomach. Esposito and Gates see pain flash in her eyes and then something else. Was it guilt?

Thirty minutes later, Detective Slaughter walks in with his union rep. "Good Morning, Captain Gates. Let's get this circus going, I've got to get back to banging heads."

"Detective Slaughter, cut the nonsense. Where's your attorney?"

"Captain Gates, I don't need an attorney. I've done nothing wrong. It was just a joke."

"Detective Slaughter, as your rep will tell you, this it no joke. You already have a serious disciplinary hearing scheduled for next week. This meeting this morning is to formally notify you of an investigation into your actions during the time Mr. Richard Castle was shadowing you. Specifically, you are alleged to have struck Mr. Castle violently at the end of the day on Thursday. Detective, please note that pending the outcome of this investigation, your future with the NYPD is under review. Do you have any questions?"

"No ma'am."

"Detective, you will address me as Captain Gates or Sir. I'm not your mother. Your rep has the waiver of representation form, as you know, you may choose to request an attorney at this time."

"I told you already, I don't need an attorney."

"Detective, last warning, Captain Gates or Sir at all times."

"Sir, I don't need an attorney. Here's your damn Waiver."

"Detective, did you assault Richard Castle on Thursday last at approximately 4:15 P.M.?"

"Sir, you've got to be kidding. It was a pulled sucker punch. I barely hit the wimp. What's this about? He planning to sue me or something? This is ridiculous."

"Detective, did you or did you not hit him in his abdomen? You need to explain exactly what you did."

"Captain Gates, you know it was a joke. A hazing kind of thing. Welcoming him to the team. I … ahhh did pretend to hit him. I pulled the punch. Barely touched him." Slaughter was growing agitated. The snooty "holier than thou" woman was crazy.

Sure, he admitted silently to himself that it was more than he'd just said. He hit the writer after wimp-boy went behind his back, to that frigid partner … Detective Beckett. Castle's smirk had gotten to him. He hadn't bothered to pull the punch and there was no way they could prove it.

"Detective, you do realize that Mr. Castle is in critical condition at Lennox Hill Hospital? He was rushed to the trauma unit, where his surgery took nearly twelve hours. The man is fighting for his life. You want us to believe you were joking around and barely touched him?" Gates was incredulous; she had seen the video once. That was all she needed.

"Captain Gates, he's really in critical condition? If so, it must have happened during the fight he got into in the bar."

"Detective Slaughter, what fight? There is nothing in your report about your civilian ride along being involved in a bar fight."

Forty-five minutes later, between the admission by Slaughter that he had submitted an "incomplete" incident report, claiming he forgot to include the "shoving match" and several other questionable decisions. Gates has heard enough. She nods to Ryan, who selects play. The monitor on the wall in the small conference room comes to life. The video lasts fifteen seconds. To anyone watching, it was clear the punch was hard and painful.

"Detective Slaughter, you were wrong. You did need an attorney. You will surrender your badge and gun to me at this time. You are suspended with pay, pending the review board hearing. Your appearance before the review board will be two weeks from this coming Tuesday at 10:00 A.M. Consider yourself lucky. You should recognize that the department is doing you a favor by keeping this in house. If it were up to me, you would be charged with felony assault. I need your badge and gun now." Gates hated doing the Chief of Ds dirty work. Slaughter should be arrested, like the loser he evidently was.

Anger flashes in Slaughter's eyes, but for once, he keeps his mouth shut and grudgingly hands over his badge and gun. He had been expecting a possible suspension after his hearing next week, but this? No, he had not seen it coming. Five minutes later, Slaughter walks out, vowing to get his gun and shield back. He smugly assures himself he'll make the arrogant brass see.

As Slaughter left, Esposito and Ryan were sitting with Beckett in the breakroom. "Kate, Rick won't listen to that Doc. He'll be back out there with us by September, just like he has been each September since we met."

"Javi thanks, but I'm scared. I don't know if I can do this without him. I don't know if I want to. I need my partner back. However, you are right. He has never let anything stop him from doing what he wants. He wants to do _THIS_. It's in his blood. He won't quit because of _THIS_." Her words start out raw and honest, but turn to wavering conviction, as she begins to truly believe her own words.

Kate raises her head to look both her "brothers" in the eye, as she declares Castle's inner cop, her head and heart in agreement that he would want to come back. _Dr. Davidson was just being cautious … right? Surely, he could come back physically given enough time? _Lanie. She should ask Lanie, who would know best.

* * *

_**If you do review, please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likely be some.**_

_**Thank you, for taking the time to write a review.**_


	10. Complications

_**Chapter 10 - Complications**_

* * *

_**The Reveal **_

As if by magic, Lanie appears at the break room door. "Beckett, Javier, Ryan, Captain Gates is ready now. She's in the conference room. I'm going back to the hospital to talk to Dr. Davidson."

"Lanie … can you stay? I need to show everyone something I found in the videos." The hurt in Kate's voice insures Lanie will stay. There was more, a myriad of emotions, fear, guilt, anger, shame, with confusion reigning supreme. The team heads to meet with Gates.

"Okay people, it's time you bring me up to date on your undercover op." A direct to the point greeting came from Gates as the team sat down again in the conference room.

"Sir, before we get started, I should … you need to see this, all of you." The unshakeable Kate Beckett is visibly nervous.

"You don't sound convinced of that Detective."

"Captain, … ahh … I should explain. I am ashamed of what I discovered, and if I had the choice, I would be telling Castle all of this privately. I'm a private person, as all of you know. This time, it's not that, not the reason I would prefer not to share … Castle should have heard this directly from me first. In fact, this never should have happened, I was wrong. I unintentionally abused his feelings.

When I was shot, Castle tried to knock me out of the way or take the bullet for me. I have been afraid to face that. Trying to knock me out of the way I could accept, if he … if he somehow … if he willingly tried to take a bullet for me. I … I don't even …

Sorry, being a coward about that is hardly the worst thing I have done."

Kate paused, letting her admission sink in. Her audience was frozen, hanging on the edge of their seats. Esposito's concern and frustration were all over his posture. He appeared ready to jump out of his chair.

"I owe Castle so much, he saved my life, and I should have told him. I can never apologize enough for failing to thank him, or for well, the worst … I lied.

After I was hit, I was overwhelmed, and in pain, I couldn't breathe, but I could see. I could hear. Panic, sheer panic, has an odd sound to it. Castle's voice pulled me back to reality. It was clear and meant only for me. His eyes were full of tears; he was terrified, but they were filled with love … for me. In desperation, he told me with his eyes and his words … he told me … his words I will never forget. They were my reason to hold on …

_"Oh, Kate. Shh. Kate, please. Stay with me, Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay? Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate."_

I lied to him, told him that I didn't remember anything. I sent him away the first time I was awake enough to talk to him. I can't begin to explain why.

Ryan, please play the video from Boylan that I showed you. I'm sorry everyone, please believe me. Nothing will make what I did okay."

The video flashed to the screen, starting at the point on the video ten seconds before the visible change on Castle's face, his words "All this time …" ringing loud and clear. The tremors in his voice announcing the depth of his emotional pain. The audience quickly understood that somehow Castle had figured out Beckett's lie.

They also understood that with Kate willingly revealing this, something had changed. She laid bare her feelings, no pretense. Beckett rarely shared anything personal, something this deep left everyone at a loss for words.

"Play the other clip now Kevin." This was too personal for the macho last names, they all used while working. Forty-five seconds later, no one could speak; finally, Lanie became the voice that brought things into focus.

"That's why he pulled away, why he climbed back into his playboy image. Kate, how could you? A suspect? You never lose control with suspects like that. You need to fix this." Lanie couldn't bring herself to finish her thought aloud … if he survives.

"Kate, did you look at any of the other videos of Castle, to see if he showed physical changes we missed?" Lanie knew Kate's admission was painful enough, questions by Gates or the boys at this moment could overwhelm the emotionally distraught detective.

"Umm … no, I couldn't. When Alexis left and then came back, I went to see Castle. I stayed with him for most of the night. I left Rick alone all this time, waiting. I wasn't leaving him to … to … die, alone." The anguish in her statement erased all the questions about why she lied. They all realized whatever her reason, it was not important to them, perhaps it would be later on for Castle there would be a time to explain. Kate was overcome with emotions that were no longer held in check by her walls.

"Kate, Dr. Parish is correct. You are the closest to him. Start fixing this by watching the other videos find any signs if there are any. Anything you notice have Dr. Parish, Esposito, or Ryan look at. The rest of you help her. I will have more videos pulled, Kate, back to early February?" Gates was determined to yank Beckett back to the current crisis, the past was done, and the future was now.

"Yes, Sir. I guess early February should help. It might be best to wait until Dr. Davidson and Lanie talk. Lanie?"

"Kate, yes, once I have the detailed findings, there may be a better time indicator."

Two and a half hours later, Captain Gates was the one overwhelmed. Coming over from internal affairs, she was aware of the murder of Beckett's mom. She finally understood why she was promoted from Lieutenant and given the 12th without having taken the Captain's exam. The Chief of Detectives explained that the department needed a no-nonsense rising star to handle the cleanup after Beckett was nearly killed at Captain Montgomery's funeral.

"Beckett, Dr. Parish, you need to head to the hospital. Esposito, Ryan, find out what happened to Mr. Castle. I have a few calls to make and precinct business to attend, if you need anything call, do not wait. With what you just shared, we have to find out if it relates to all of this.

Beckett, work with Esposito, I want a protective detail on Castle and his family at all times. Double the normal detail. If this is related … "

"Sir, I … we have to be careful. We don't know whom to trust. No offence, not even you. Sorry." Beckett expected to be dressed down, possibly suspended. She didn't care. Rick's life was on the line, she was not going to fail him.

"Kate what do you suggest?" The soft, concerned voice from Gates was a new tone, an unexpected and comforting one.

"Captain, Rick has private security he has used for years. He trusts them. Perhaps I should talk to Martha, Paula, …Alexis." The latter terrified Kate, just seven months ago it was clear Alexis wanted her dad to stop playing cop. Things were up and down since then. Kate wanted to reach out, but the confusion and hurt were visible despite the brave face seen in Alexis the last day.

"Protect them, use your instincts. You should know, the F.B.I., has an on going, quiet off the books investigation, since Beckett's shooting. Esposito, Ryan, you were ordered off Kate's shooting for a reason. To take the heat off whoever is behind it,they wanted him feeling safe. I spoke with the leader of the investigation, Special Agent Shaw. I know you worked with her.

I need to call her. She will need to talk to all of you. All I was told was that the rifle we have in evidence raised some really big red flags. Shaw's special investigation is off the books, ATF, NCIS, CIA, and a few other alphabets are all involved.

With what you're telling me this morning, Shaw's statement makes sense. Kate, she told me when they were ready to take the person responsible down, she would come get you. That she owed it to you and to Castle.

Go take care of your assignments. All of you, I need to call Shaw and then go to One P.P. I need some answers."

"Sir, thank you, be careful. It's not worth losing anyone else."

"Kate, I will, but you're wrong. Whoever is behind all this has to be taken down - carefully, apparently murder is easy for them. Thank you for your concern. I'm not going to do anything stupid. However, there is a reason I was suddenly promoted and sent here. I aim to find out why."

* * *

_**Three Forty-Five in the afternoon Lennox Hill T.I.C.U. - **__**Forty Four Hours and 15 Minutes After Castle's Arrival**_

Dr. Amanda Davidson is meeting with the lead nurse on her surgical team.

"Joan, as we feared the section of his liver was without proper blood flow too long. I have to go in and resect the dying tissue. While I have Mr. Castle opened up, I need to recheck his spleen closely. I was expecting both possibilities. Find out who is available from ortho and neurology for consult, let them know the surgery has to happen this evening. Be sure they know it's Richard Castle, the author.

I am going to find his family and let them know. I hoped to avoid this or at least to allow him time to recover. His family … I hope they understand why I didn't volunteer all of this until radiology read the scans fully."

"That family of his, is an eclectic group. They clearly love each other despite all the stress. His mother will make sure the others understand you were being cautious and sparing them the extra stress. I'll take the first O.R. available after 8:30 if that works for ortho and neuro."

"Make it 7:30. It will be another long night. If ortho and neuro can be ready early book it. Call me if you need anything." The beautiful and concerned doctor walks out quickly in search of Alexis Castle and her grandmother. Just as she finds them in the corridor near Rick's room, her phone rings. The caller I.D. identifies the caller as "L. Parish, M.E.".

"Hello, Dr. Parish, I was just about to call you. Have you had a chance to look at the MRI results?"

"Dr. Davidson, please, it's Lanie. We are just getting to the hospital. I have some information to show you. We found video of how Mr. Castle was injured, at least the punch that sent him to you."

"Lanie, that's amazing and will be helpful. I'm here with Alexis and Martha, can you meet us in the conference room stat?" Amanda searches the faces for Alexis and Martha, grateful they appear to be lost in their own conversation.

"Stat? What's going on? How bad are the complications? Ten minutes." Lanie knows she said stat with too much angst. She tries to look at Kate without letting Kate catch on. The closed eyes and trembling lips on the detective confirm Lanie's fears. Kate heard.

"Eight of ten, so hurry." Having turned away from the two ladies to finish the call, Amanda takes a breath as she turns back to greet Alexis and Martha.

"Sorry about that. Busy day. Alexis, Martha, how are you two doing? I know that it has been a lot deal with the last nearly forty-eight hours. I just spoke to Dr. Parish. She says she has a video to show me. I asked her to meet us in the conference room, is that okay?"

"Dr. Davidson, Alexis and I are glad to see you. We have some questions about exactly what Richard's injuries are. Yes, let's go to the conference room. Alexis, go ahead just for a few minutes, but we cannot keep Dr. Davidson."

"Martha, Alexis, please call me Amanda; we will be spending some time with each other. I hope you will consider me your friend." Davidson was not planning on trusting Richard Castle's care to anyone else. She offered a friendly tone and smile as she spoke to the two ladies.

"Dr. … sorry, Amanda. I am going to peek in at dad for just a minute. That is if there is time, Grams is right, I should not keep you."

"Alexis, take your time. Your dad is my priority the rest of the day." Grateful for the concern, Alexis turns and hurries into her father's room.

"Amanda?" One word, said with a concerned, questioning tone, told the doctor that Martha knew something was going on. Martha leads Amanda down the corridor and away from Alexis.

"Martha, I'm grateful that Alexis wanted time with her father. I need to talk with you. First, when was your last physical? I do not mean to alarm you, but earlier you seemed to be straining just to breathe. Than when you went to stand up you barely made it."

"Amanda, I'm fine, just a tired, worried, mother and grandmother."

"Martha, please, be honest. I will keep it between us. Alexis, she can't handle another emergency."

"Okay, I'm due for my annual. I have been a little off, but the last few months have been very hectic. I promise to get some rest. I need to get Alexis to go home as well."

"Martha, I know you won't make time for a physical, let me run some tests. Simple blood work and I will have Joan check your vitals. I want to be safe. Not sorry. Now, going home will be a good idea, but there is no easy way to drop this on you. There are complications, some we knew were possible, and others that were found with the MRI. All the issues we can deal with, but they cannot be put off."

"Amanda, I sensed you had less than great news for us. These expected issues were why you said Richard had to stop?"

"Along with some of what was required when he was brought in. Let's wait until the others arrive; they all will want to know." Martha and Amanda walk into the conference room. The fresh fruit and drinks bring smiles to their faces. Not of happiness, just a small bit of relief.

Fifteen minutes later, after receiving a call from Joan Ingram with details about the O.R. and consults, Dr. Amanda Davidson was ready.

"Everyone, I apologize for keeping you waiting. Before I begin, Lanie, you told me there is a video that shows Mr. Castle being punched. You think it was the one that caused the ruptured spleen and lacerated liver. I need to see that before I explain what we have learned from the MRI. If it is indeed the likely cause of the injury, I need a copy."

"Ryan, can you play that for Amanda on the monitor? Martha, Alexis, perhaps you should wait outside." Lanie knows the answer before she asks, but figures there just might be a chance they will not want to see the video.

"Lanie, we appreciate your concern. Alexis and I need to understand, and this will help. Please proceed Kevin." Martha politely refuses the kind suggestion, effectively cutting off any further discussion, by telling Kevin Ryan to play the video.

The video starts just seconds before Detective Slaughter threw the punch that immediately doubled Rick Castle over in pain. Kate is seen walking past him, and it is clear Richard is talking with her. His smirk is not the usual playful one, but it is a close imitation. From the vantage point seen on the tape, it is clear Rick was unable to turn to face Kate Beckett or to stand up, after he was struck. There was a brief exchange of words. Kate pauses briefly, before Rick waved half-heartedly. Kate turned and proceeded out of sight. Rick quickly sat down in a nearby chair.

"Amanda, to save time I can tell you, it was about twenty minutes or so before Rick gets up and gingerly walks out. I have no doubt that whatever is on the MRI will confirm what we just saw is the blow that caused the ruptured spleen and lacerated liver. What else am I missing? What have you not told us yet?" Lanie did not mean to be so blunt or too scare the daylights out of Kate and Alexis. Having seen the look on Martha's face, Lanie felt an urgent need to know.

"Alexis, I've spoken with your grandmother already. The phone call a few minutes ago was from Nurse Ingram, advising me of the availability of two surgeons and the O.R. at 8:15 this evening. The MRI this morning revealed a few complications that must be addressed quickly. These are not unexpected. The attempted repairs did not work, as we hoped.

There is an area within the liver that suffered too much blood loss, and must be removed. Your father's spleen was ruptured, and the MRI shows that part of it needs to be removed, as well. There is a chance that his entire spleen may need to be taken out.

Additionally, there are some indications of cervical damage. Now this could be a result of the punch, but it is unlikely. Whatever the reason, neurology, and orthopedics will be prepared to address the injury. They are currently reviewing the scans and X-Rays.

At least, one of your father's discs has partially ruptured; this will require surgery to fuse C-6 and C-7. There will be minimal long-term effects, but failure to immobilize the vertebrae would slow his recovery. Detectives, I hate to throw something else at you, but apparently Mr. Castle was either in a fight or some type of violent accident.

I know all of this is a lot to take in. When we discussed your father's condition earlier, I did not volunteer the details. If you asked, of course, I was prepared to tell you what I knew. "

Briefly Amanda reminds herself that letting patients and their families guide her on what to explain and when. Usually works for the best. From the looks on everyone's faces, it's time to fill in the details.

"During the emergency surgery, I had to remove 15 inches of intestine and one-third of your father's right lung. The damage was too severe to his liver and esophagus, to allow us to take the time necessary to repair those injuries. The likelihood of successful repair was less than thirty percent for either with the amount of damage. Dr. Parish, you will have pathology reports about the damage late tomorrow.

The other significant injury was the tear in his esophagus. The tear caused the esophagus to be nearly severed at the cardius. In plain language, his throat was practically torn from its connection with the stomach. The aspirating blood was a combination of this and the punctured lung.

Dr. Parish, Lanie, I need to ask you a favor. Can you handle explaining any general questions? After I finish surgery tonight or in the morning, I will be happy to address specifics. I only ask, as I need to consult with the other surgeons.

Alexis, Martha, before I go, do you have any question you need to ask?"

Amanda takes a slow breath, and through years of practice relaxes her body. Using body language to let the family know that right this moment the news is not an imminent threat to Richard Castle's life. If the complications required emergency surgery, a nurse would be explaining the reasons.

"Amanda, will my father live?" No one was prepared for the sucker punch landed by the question. It simply knocked them all down.

"Alexis, as we discussed, the first 72 hours would be critical. Without the surgery, tonight his chances would be slim, this will add another 12-24 hours during which time things will be touch and go. I still feel strongly that he will fight through all of this. I just cannot promise you. What I can offer you is that I will not leave the hospital until I am confident that there is no imminent danger to your father. Fair enough?" The sincerity of her words was not lost on anyone, least of all Alexis. Amanda Davidson had just opened the door to becoming a family member and stepped through it.

Alexis wasted no time in shutting the door behind her. Taking two surprisingly quick strides, she pulled Amanda into a loving hug. "More than fair, Thank you."

Ryan hates to interrupt, but his question cannot wait, "Excuse me, Dr. Davidson, all of this, Castle's injuries, how are they related? We've all seen the tape, the punch, well it wasn't like Slaughter beat him senseless."

"Detective Ryan, I hope I have your name right. Mr. Castle's injuries were not all caused by the single punch. However, let me make sure there is no mistake here. That single punch, while innocent looking, was nearly fatal. If Alexis had not found her father, we would never have met. Allow me to explain what I have discussed with our staff and the conclusions we came to.

The video you shared confirms what we suspected. There was little doubt that Mr. Castle was subject to a violent impact, now we know, that he was assaulted. The punch was sudden and severe, he was defenseless, instantly causing a series of events and injuries. When we have more time, I need to analyze the video, with the other surgeons and staff. Using our body modeling software, we can create an animation of the event.

What I can share with you is without seeing the video, the injuries both internal and external tell a story. Prior to "the blow," his body had been injured over a period of weeks perhaps months. Remember the pictures from when he was brought in? Dr. Parish can show you the patterns of bruising. The layers of coloring tell us that he was beaten repetitively in the same locations. Whatever the reason, those hits left Mr. Castle's body weaker.

There are also signs of physiological changes; he was losing weight, gaining muscle. However, that weakens the body initially as well, before it grows stronger. Another factor in the chain reaction.

"The blow" set off a violent and explosive series of events. Upon impact, the first thing was the capillaries in Mr. Castle's skin and just underneath burst, causing bruising. The point of impact was in about the worst place possible, considering the state of his body. The last rib on his right side was already fractured, and his spleen is not in the expected place; instead it is closer to his liver. The result was the rib displaced, tearing the liver and puncturing his lung. Think back to the video and how he was doubled over. That was from the pain, it appears he was also out of breath.

Excuse me, Kate, if you are thinking you are responsible, I assure you that you are not. All of the damage was done, the only thing you would have changed was how soon he was here." Silently, Amanda refused to let Kate know that the delay did compound the severity and recovery time. There was simply no need to tell anyone, as blame for something like this served no purpose. Dr. Davidson easily saw just how overwhelmed Detective Beckett was, during the last nearly forty-eight hours she could not recall having seen the woman sleeping. What she had seen was a woman racked with guilt and fear.

"The video allows us to see how quickly he doubled over in pain. That split second of additional violence is the likely cause of the rupture to the esophagus and to his intestine. His body spasmed in response to the pain. Something has been going on that weakened Mr. Castle, but without that punch, he would have healed as anyone else from his bruising and broken ribs.

I must go meet with the surgeons. I will send word on when we will proceed. It will be several hours. You should all try to eat and rest.

Alexis and Martha, please come with me. I need you to sign the authorization for additional surgery. It is a formality, as I can perform the surgery due to its critical nature." Amanda realizes she has been holding Alexis by the waist during the last few minutes. When the young woman smiles at her, she easily decides that it's okay to offer such an intimate means of support this once.

"Kate, before we go. When is this Detective Slaughter going to be arrested?" Amanda tightens her hold of support, as Alexis finishes the question. The discomfort in the three detectives was immediate. A quick glance to Lanie confirmed her suspicion. If she was right, Alexis was going to need support. Amanda felt a sudden urge to protect Alexis.

"Alexis, Martha, I am sure things will be taken care of. However, we really must get going. I have only two hours or so to be ready. Please, can you talk about that later, in the morning perhaps?" Alexis softened a bit and nodded. The three detectives quickly agreed they would all talk in the morning. As Alexis, Martha, and Amanda walked out, the tension eased. Martha shared a look with Amanda, conveying her thanks that indeed it was not the time to worry about whatever was happening. It was out of their control and Richard Castle's survival was far more urgent. The three ladies barely notice the man with the determined look, as he marched past them in the corridor.

Just as the door is about to finish closing, it swings back open. The man who is stepping through the door is clearly all business, the dangerous kind. Turning quickly to the possible threat, Espo simultaneously puts his hand on his service weapon, and challenges the man, in a clear voice, "Detective Esposito, NYPD, you are?"

* * *

**_A/N_**

Despite doing mostly the right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. The consequences are happening, the first few days even weeks seem to play out in slow motion. Eventually the minutes, hours, days will return to normal, and than to seemingly fly by. This story is still in the early hours of the process. Very soon the chapters will change to days and weeks ... life will go on ... it will never be the same.

I do apologize for the delay in getting chapters up the last two weeks. I am going to try to improve on that. While I hope that the beta and others who have been helping can continue, due to my schedule I may have to publish with a few errors in order to expedite and finish the story. I have a brief time period to accomplish my goals. After that updates are likely to be very slow in coming. I figure you would rather put up with hopefully a few errors and get the story than having to wait weeks or long for the next chapters.

Alexis is not a screaming out of control emotional teenager. Throughout the show she has been wise and mature beyond her years. There are things yet to be learned about her knowledge of what her father's wishes are. They will come out in time.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin. Reviews are encouraged and helpful. To the 150 plus who have alerted the story … Thank You.

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If you do review, please do not give away plot points or surprises. There will likely be some big twists that are spoiled if revealed. Thank you, for taking the time to write a review.


	11. The Stranger

_**Consequence Chapter 11**_

_**The Stranger Comes To Town**_

* * *

_Previously … _

_Just as the door is about to finish closing, it swings back open. The man who is stepping through the door is clearly all business, the dangerous kind. Turning quickly to the possible threat, Espo simultaneously puts his hand on his service weapon, and challenges the man, in a clear voice, "Detective Esposito, NYPD, you are?"_

* * *

The man walking through the door did not slow down at the challenge. Eyes always alert. His brain registered the hand and gun, before he consciously recognized the threat Esposito offered. His movements were swift, perfectly executed, and automatic from years of training. Before either man knew what was happening, Esposito was on his knees, his own gun now held tightly to his forehead, his right arm pinned painfully behind his back.

Ryan was moving, drawing his weapon. Kate had pulled Lanie down to the floor and was also bringing her glock up. A voice of cold, menace spoke out from across the room, "If you want your friend here to remain alive, put your weapons down."

The man quickly glanced and saw them hesitate, he pulled Esposito's arm a little harder. "I'm not playing, as you can see I don't react kindly to ANYONE even police officers pulling a weapon on me for any reason. Especially walking through the door of a hospital waiting room. Last chance, put your weapons down!"

Ryan stepped a little closer.

Before, Ryan or Beckett could respond, Esposito was suddenly being yanked up from his knees and spun around. The result was, neither Ryan or Beckett had a clear shot.

This powerful and dangerous man was slowly backing up against the wall. The door was to his right, Esposito a human shield. Everyone was in defensive positions, it was a stand off, and no one was blinking.

Suddenly, the door pushed open again, this time Special Agent Jordan Shaw and Captain Gates were entering the VIP waiting room. Both immediately recognized that something was wrong inside. Jordan followed Beckett's eyes to the left where Esposito was being held. "Jake Taylor, release Esposito, before you give everyone a heart attack."

"Jordan, I assume you know these people. However, I don't, when they lower their weapons I will. My patience is a bit thin, at the moment." The man softens the pressure on Esposito's right arm and especially his wrist.

Beckett, was already barking her response at the same moment, "You know we can't do that, now let him go. So help me."

Esposito felt the man relaxing and instantly assumed the man was being reasonable. He attempted to break free and promptly ended up face down on the floor, stunning those watching. Still holding Esposito to the floor, the stranger known to Joran spit out one last venomous comment. "Detective, I already told you, I don't like it when someone pulls a gun on me for no good reason. Now, unless you want your arm broken in three places stand down. Your friends have five seconds, before I snap it."

Gates, saw the muscles in the man's arms tensing, following Agent Shaw's lead, "Holster your weapons, stand down."

Reluctantly, Beckett and Ryan complied with the order.

"Jordan, take this weapon, please." Taylor, skillfully ejected the clip and round out of the chamber as he released his hold on Esposito.

As she took the weapon from Taylor, Jordan spoke a warning, "Esposito, whatever you are thinking, I advise against trying it. Jake Taylor is not someone you want to challenge. Jake, why don't you go get a coffee? I will explain, and when you come back we can all talk."

Without a word, the man left the room. "Everyone, whatever just happened all of you are extremely lucky. Obviously, he disarmed Esposito, most likely so fast it was over, before you knew it was happening. If Taylor had been here to kill you, you would be dead. He's here to help. He has information concerning Castle.

"You need to know he's a retired S.E.A.L., highly decorated. Two silver stars, a bronze star, Navy Cross, and three purple hearts. Once, you get to know him, you will find out just how enjoyable and fun loving he is.

"He owns a private security comany. The F.B.I. uses him as an advance technique instructor, which is how I know him."

"Jordan, he just took Javier's weapon and … " Ryan spoke, still somewhat shocked at how quickly Esposito was disarmed.

"Let me guess, he came through the door, and everything happened bang, bang. Esposito, you probably instinctively reached for your weapon, and about the time you touched the grip, you were disarmed?"

Esposito spoke with embarrassment in his voice, "Yeah."

"Don't ask him about this, at least not until he knows you. One of his team failed to respond quickly during a mission, three of the team died, another paralyzed, as a result. Jake as you learned, does not hesitate, as a result of that incident. Give him a chance." As Jordan is finishing up there is a knock on the door, and then it swings open. Jake Taylor walks back into the room.

"Detective Esposito, I apologize. I never should have responded that way. If Jordan has not already explained, I will do so now." He held out his hand, offering the age old tradition of a gentleman's handshake. Somewhat cautiously Esposito accepted the gesture.

"We're good. Jordan filled us in." The man's credentials had instantly cooled Esposito's anger.

"I hope all of you will call me Jake. I am at an advantage here, after working with Rick for the last few months. I feel I already know you. I just flew in, can someone please bring me up to date?"

Lanie spent the next five minutes giving a briefing of Castle's condition. Esposito, then started explaining the punch by Slaughter. Right as the story reached the part about Slaughter's suspension and pending hearing, Alexis and Martha came back. They were out of sight, behind Gates and Shaw.

The two redheads quietly slipped away, the team unaware they had heard. Amanda guides them to another room. "Take a few minutes, if you want feel free to stay in this room. I will send word out to you when possible. The surgery will take about six hours as we discussed. Unfortunately, I do have to go prep my team."

"Grams, I .. I can't believe they are not arresting that … " Frustration, hurt and fear poured out of the young woman, as she shook her head from side to side.

"Alexis, kiddo. We will address that after your father is out of surgery in the morning. Kate will surely explain it to us." Martha was grateful that Amanda had noticed Alexis' reaction to the overheard statement. Hugging Alexis close, Martha gently held her granddaughter, wondering which of them needed the hug the most.

In the conference room, Jake Taylor was rapidly filling the team in on a surprising twist.

"Rick contacted me in early February. My firm handles his security needs. This time he had a specific request.

"Detective Beckett, I'm not at liberty to disclose a lot of what Rick and I shared. What I can tell you is he asked me to meet with him personally. The explanation I feel comfortable sharing is he felt he needed to be better prepared to protect you in the future.

"Myself and members of my training department have been teaching Rick a variety of self defense skills. He specifically asked … actually insisted we take no mercy on him. All of our training is video recorded, if you need footage I can have it to you within a few hours.

"Dr. Parish, if you provide your email address I will go ahead and send it. He trained extremely hard. Then in late February, he was not satisfied with where things were. He insisted that we double the efforts. Honestly, he was driven beyond anything I have seen outside of S.E.A.L. or Ranger training. Obsessed comes to mind. I suspect something must have prompted the urgency Rick expressed.

"We were reluctant to increase the intensity of his training. He was learning with ease, physically though, he was never satisfied. We met late at night, actually early in the morning. The recordings will show you, just how adept Rick is, but be prepared he refused to use sparring gear often. Crazy man said he needed to make sure that no one would ever point a gun at you again Detective Beckett."

Kate looked at Jake realizing there was something he was holding back, so she asked, "Please tell me exactly what Rick said? You remember it, I can see it in your eyes."

"Kate, Rick wouldn't say exactly, it was vague. I did ask. All he would tell me was your life is endangered from a specific threat, but also that, as your "partner," he needed to be ready. One thing did stick out, he said he was too slow last year to take it, perhaps that means something to you.

"I respect his motivation, he was pushing his limits. His results you will see. I tried to get him to slow his pace down. That he had to tell us if it was too much.

"His response was restrained, I remember is exact words, 'Fine, my safe word is cherries, unless I use it, don't stop. I know what I can take. It will be over my dead body, that Kate is ever threatened when I'm around.'

"He never said cherries, he did say apples more than a few times. He picked it up faster than men half his age. He was hurting at the end of sessions, but he wore it with pride. I asked him more than once, to dial things back. It's on tape and signed waivers, he insisted on that."

Before anyone can comment or ask any questions, there is a knock at the door. A nurse opens the door, "Alexis and Martha wanted all of you to know, that if you want to see Mr. Castle before his surgery you should do so now. You have twenty minutes. After that, we will be prepping Mr. Castle for surgery, only his family can see him after that."

Kate was the first one out the door, in a hurry, tears flowing.

As the rest of the team walks towards Castle's room, Shaw is talking with Gates, "I will debrief them tomorrow. They all need to get some rest. How much pushback are you expecting over not charging Slaughter?"

"I met with the Chief again today. He won't budge, says he knows Mr. Castle. That Ricky as he calls him would never want any bad publicity for the department. The Mayor apparently agrees. I told him and sent an email advising him that I felt it was a mistake not to bring charges. Of course, the reply was simply that if Mr. Castle wishes to press charges, we will reopen the case. It's a bad decision. You know Mr. Castle from that case, any thoughts?" Gates stopped walking to allow Shaw to answer out of earshot of the team.

"Castle really respects Beckett and her team, the NYPD. However, this isn't a bloody nose, his life is forever altered. Heaven forbid at this point, he may not survive. Certainly a premature decision, the consequences could be high."

The team all quickly took turns, though, Kate stayed with Rick until the time was up. She was struggling with how lifeless, pale, and cold he was. The man who never seemed to be still had not moved in nearly two days. Briefly, she wondered if calling Dr. Burke's emergency number was warranted. Deciding that it wasn't she made a mental note to call Monday and try to get in earlier, then her Wednesday appointment, telling herself that she could deal with things if necessary.

Kate was walking out as Alexis and Martha came through the door. Alexis swept Beckett into a hug, "Kate, Grams, and I need to talk with you in the morning, please. Dad's going to be alright."

"Of course. I'm sorry, so sorry. I … please." Kate prays that Alexis is right. Everyone, she's ever gotten close to have left in one way or another. This, time though, she knows, it's her own fault.

"Kate, darling. You have nothing to be sorry for. Come on dear, stay with us, we are only going to give him a quick kiss and then we all need to eat. How does Nick's pizza sound? A little wine, beer, or whatever."

Martha was trying to give a little performance for the two younger women. Hiding how she felt emotionally, and physically. Wondering if she shouldn't talk to Amanda, about the tests. The headaches were growing stronger and more frequent. Yes, she best do that, Monday would be a convenient time.

* * *

**_A/N_**

Despite doing mostly the right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. The consequences are happening, the first few days even weeks seem to play out in slow motion.

The span of time will be moving faster in coming chapters. I hope to have chapters up quickly, but I do not have a schedule for them.

For the sake of the storyline, there are going to be some liberities with medical issues and procedures at the PD ... example Gates, being the Captain suspending Slaughter. My justification for her doing it, was he hit Castle in her precinct. Not to mention the show did not give us his Captain's name. There are enough characters already.

Alexis wise beyond her years. There are things yet to be learned about her knowledge of what her father's wishes are. They will come out in time.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

* * *

Thanks to PenguinOfTroy who shared a great piece of information on how to properly punctuate long dialogue. When a character speaks more than a few sentences. Remove spaces if you care to look at how is it correctly done.

http :/w ww .

writing-world (.) com /

grammar / dialogue . shtml

Also, to HippyDragonGirl for helping with editing, from early on in the story.

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Thank you, for taking the time to write a review.


	12. Silent Suspicions

_**Consequence Chapter 12**_

_**Private Suspicions**_

* * *

_Previously …_

"_Kate, darling. You have nothing to be sorry for. Come on dear, stay with us, we are only going to give him a quick kiss and then we all need to eat. How does Nick's pizza sound? A little wine, beer, or whatever."_

_Martha was trying to give a little performance for the two younger women. Hiding how she felt emotionally, and physically. Wondering if she shouldn't talk to Amanda, about the tests. The headaches were growing stronger and more frequent. Yes, she best do that, Monday would be a convenient time._

Alexis, Martha, and Kate walked back into the private waiting room. They immediately were drawn to Castle's voice, to grunts, groans, and barked orders issued. They stood mesmerized at the action on the screen of the flat panel TV. Jake Taylor was explaining to Agent Shaw, Captain Gates and the rest of the team, that what they were seeing was footage from mid-February. A few clicks of the remote later and the action intensified, "Here is tape from the two weeks in March that Rick trained nearly nonstop. You can see how much harder he is pushing."

The group was amazed to see Rick taking various shots to his body; fists, kicks, body slams, and even a variety of weapons. The sickening sounds of batons and rifle butts slamming into Castle's body were met by grunts and groans. Taylor flipped through a few more recordings, before telling everyone that Rick had finally slowed things down a little in late March.

"Rick finally took our advice and backed things down. He told me that a bombing case had worn him out, and he needed time. He still trained, but less each week. In fact, the past two weeks he's hardly trained at all. When I spoke with him ten days ago, he said that he was unsure how much longer … sorry, I can't divulge that."

Beckett pleads with Taylor, "Please, it may be important."

"Detective Beckett I will tell you privately, let's go for a walk." They walk out into the corridor.

"Kate, I hope you don't mind my using your first name. This is personal and before I say anything more, I need you to know, I am betraying a confidence, if I tell you. Because of that I need your word, it stays between us unless you are certain it is a factor in whatever happened to Rick, deal?"

"Of course, what do you mean it's personal?"

"Kate, I've come to know Rick well the last few years. I consider him a friend. He told me something in confidence, when I asked him to explain he shook his head no. However, his eyes disclosed a lot. What I think I saw, is not for me to say, hell I shouldn't tell you this, but it might be relevant." He pauses, briefly lost in the memory of the emotional pain he witnessed.

"Rick told me ten days ago that he was going to be doing something with the gang squad, and then he was stepping away from consulting with the NYPD."

Before Taylor can finish, Kate's gasp told him his observation had been on target. He immediately went stone faced to prevent the detective from prying. Taylor suspects there's more to Castle's decision but decides to tell Beckett what he knows.

"Kate, when Rick wakes up you need to talk to him about what that meant. All he said to me was he needed to spend time with Alexis and his writing."

"Jake, Thank You." Taylor watched as Kate Beckett walked away. He had seen enough PTSD victims allowing him to recognize she needed time alone, but not unwatched, so he went to find Esposito. He knew without asking that the former member of the Special Forces was the man for the job.

Taylor stepped back inside the waiting room. His quick glance snapped Esposito into action, a shared bond from past service; the two of them stepped into the corner. Ten seconds later Esposito walked out the door needing to catch up to Beckett. Taylor pulled his phone out leaving the others to enjoy the pizza that had arrived.

Five minutes later, his photo and video analysis team was being summoned to work on a Saturday night. The team would be given a specific assignment, to check all surveillance images from the last seven months, for Rick Castle, Kate Beckett, and her team. Nothing unusual had happened during the months that Taylor's team had been protecting the homes of Detective Beckett and her team. Still Rick's concern about Kate being in danger and abrupt need for hand to hand combat training had Jake thinking a second look at what had been captured in photos during surveillance was warranted.

Six and half hours later Dr. Amanda Davidson walked into the waiting room. Not one of the waiting family members was asleep, though all had managed at least a half hour of sleep while they anxiously waited on how Castle's surgery went. Along with Davidson were two other Doctors, she introduced them as the heads of neurology and orthopedics. Ostensibly they were there to explain what they had done if there were any questions. Davidson actually brought them into observe Martha discreetly.

"Everyone, Mr. Castle came through the surgery. We have addressed the problem areas, and we will closely monitor his condition for the next 48 hours. I know that is difficult to accept. However, due to the complications the timeline has changed. Alexis, Joan should be at the nurses station and can take you to your father. Martha may we speak to you for just a minute about that surprise you asked me about?" Davidson was discreetly acknowledging her colleagues signal, the look in the head of neurology's eyes at just after 2 A.M. confirmed her earlier suspicion. They needed to talk to Martha urgently.

Alexis was moving before Amanda had finished. Martha was slower to respond, lost in thought and fighting another intense headache. The three doctors and Martha slowly walked out, into the corridor, and then quickly stepped into a smaller room around the corner.

"Amanda?"

"Martha. You've been having headaches for awhile now. They have intensified the last two days, since all this started. You feel weak and light headed at times, correct?"

"Yes, I was going to speak to you about those tests on Monday."

"Martha, we need to admit you right now. Bed rest, until we can run some tests. I will explain to Alexis, Dr. Williams will explain what he needs to do while you are being admitted."

"Amanda, it's just a headache. I'm fine."

"No Martha it's not, at least we can't take the chance until the tests are run. If it's what I suspect, we caught it just in time."

"I will only agree to this on one condition. Until you know otherwise, Alexis is not to be told. Tell her, I'm exhausted, now tell me what you suspect."

"Martha. It may be simple blood pressure issue. However, I am concerned about the blood flow to your brain. When you are stressed and try to stand, I notice you straining, and you are unsteady when you first stand up. Blood vessels that I should not see from five feet away are visible. You are presenting symptoms that indicate a stroke or aneurysm is probable if not treated. We will know more in the morning. You will be in the room next to Rick."

* * *

**_A/N_**

Despite doing mostly the right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. The consequences are happening, the first few days even weeks seem to play out in slow motion.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

A short chapter to set up the next chapter which will be up soon. Not beta checked due to schedule. Will make corrections if they are significant.

Thanks for reading.

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**_Thank you, for taking the time to write a review._**


	13. Calling Out The Brass

_**Consequence Chapter 13**_

_**Standing Up For Justice**_

* * *

_Previously …_

"_I will only agree to this on one condition. __Until you know otherwise, Alexis is not to be told.__ Tell __her, I__'m exhausted, now tell me what you suspect."_

"_Martha. It may be simple blood pressure issue. However, I am concerned about the blood flow to your brain. __When you are stressed and try to stand, I notice you straining, and you are unsteady when you first stand up.__ Blood vessels that I should not see from five feet away __are__ visible. You are presenting symptoms that indicate a stroke or aneurysm is probable if not treated. We will know more in the morning. You will be in the room next to Rick."_

**_The Conversation Continues ... _**

"Amanda, I need to talk to Lanie. Alexis needs someone, they have been working together. Allow me a minute." Martha starts to walk out, but the news is heavy on her shoulders.

Amanda does not want Martha to push herself, realizing that the older woman has not yet grasped the seriousness of her condition.

"Martha, I will bring Lanie to you and then go talk with Alexis." Amanda turns and gently guides Martha to the sofa in the room. "Martha, wait here. I will have a nurse come get you."

Amanda glances at her two colleagues. She nods in agreement, as they indicate they will handle getting Martha Rodgers into the bed next door to her son. "Amanda, we've got this. Martha, we need you to let us take care of you."

Fifteen minutes later, Martha is already settled onto the hospital bed. Lanie, softly knocks, and then asks, "Martha, it's Lanie. You wanted to see me?"

"Come in dear. Please, close the door, I need to talk to you." A big, yet tired smile was shown to the diminutive, yet powerful medical examiner.

"Martha, what's going on?"

"Lanie, I'm fine, a few headaches. Amanda was kind enough to arrange this room so I can rest."

"Martha, I know better. You would not have asked to speak to me, if all you need is to share where you would be sleeping. So, you best get to your real reason for wanting to talk to me." Lanie was trying not to be harsh, clearly something was going on.

"Lanie, Alexis will need you in the morning. Amanda, well she wants to run some tests, something about warning signs for stroke or aneurysm. Frankly, I'm sure it is just… well you understand the stress. Please, can you arrange to be there for Alexis?"

"Martha, you never need to ask that. I will always be here for her. I need to work, but I can do a lot of it here. Now, you need to rest, if Amanda is concerned, than so am I. Does Alexis have medical power of attorney for you, too?"

"Of course, I see what you are asking. I will make sure I give Amanda my permission to share anything with you, concerning my condition. For now Alexis should rest. I was going to tell her, instead would you mind trying to get her to sleep? It will be a difficult morning for her. I will be fine. I am tired, though. Not to be offensive, I appreciate your help. Good Night." The strain is overwhelming the normally vibrant Martha Rodgers.

Lanie reaches over and takes Martha's hand. "I will make sure she sleeps. Good Night."

As she walks out, the feisty doctor wonders how much more can be thrown at them, especially Alexis. Kate needs to step up too. Alexis needs family. Lanie knows where to find the young woman; it was only five strides to the door to Rick's room.

Six hours later was soon enough for Alexis' world to crash down even further. Lanie was standing with her in Martha's room, when the scary news was broken. Amanda was kind and caring, "Alexis, I noticed a few symptoms and asked my colleagues to observe Martha. I apologize for not sharing this with you until now. I asked Martha to allow us to admit her for observation and a few tests. Early this morning, while you were sleeping, the tests we ran on your grandmother confirmed my suspicion…"

"Amanda, thank you. I will take it from here. Alexis, Amanda is trying to take the blame. I won't have it. I made her promise not tell you, until we knew. She probably saved my life. If you need to know, I'm sure she will explain. What I understand is one of my arteries is blocked, and a blood vessel has weakened walls. They can fix it, but I do need minor brain surgery."

"Minor! Grams …" The frightened teen finally breaks, becoming an eighteen year old with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Without thinking, she rushes to Martha and collapses onto the bed beside her Grams. Her sobs fill the room. Martha mouths … "Give us a few minutes." Lanie and Amanda walk out.

"Amanda?"

"Martha authorized disclosure of her medical condition and treatment to you, so that you can help Alexis as needed. Her carotid artery is 87% blocked, add to that there are two vessels that have aneurysms. We can treat them with stents and blood thinners. She should make a full recovery. I don't need to tell you how lucky she is."

"Amanda, I'm with Martha on this. It wasn't just luck, you saved her life."

"Lanie, let's get her through the procedure, and on her feet. I was doing my job. Thank you; I do appreciate your kind words."

Seven hours later, Martha is back in her room, resting comfortably. She will be kept asleep for twenty four hours, before they will allow her to wake up. Amanda and the neuro-surgeon explain to Alexis that the procedures went well. The blockage was cleared from Marta's carotid artery, and stents were placed both at the site of the blockage and in the two aneurysms.

"Alexis, we will monitor your grandmother closely for the next forty eight hours. She should be back on her feet, for limited activity, by the end of the week. We will not release her until she has reached some specific recovery milestones.

"Her routine needs to be as stress free as possible for the next few months. We will know more after the tests, we run at the end of the week. Now, it is possible that we will need to consider other treatment,but stents have a high success rate in resolving these types of issues. Do you have any questions?"

"Amanda, I … thank you is so not enough. I may have questions later, right now, I just want to be alone with Grams. Would that be okay?"

"Of course, if you think of anything or need me, call. I am going to check on my other patients. Don't forget, you and I, dinner tonight to get away from all this for a few minutes. I promised your grandmother."

"Seven thirty right?"

"Yes, I will see you a bit later." Amanda gives Alexis a gentle hug around the shoulders and walks out.

Alexis briefly visits with her grandmother. While watching Martha rest peacefully, she receives a text. The message is from Gina, notifying Alexis that the attorneys have arrived. Turning her eyes back to her grandmother, Alexis asks for help, "Grams, I love you. Wish me luck."

The confident young woman is back. As she left her grandmother's side, Alexis walked with a renewed purpose. She was still scared, and more than a little worried about the future, but Amanda and the other doctors had restored some of her hope. They assured her that Grams would likely make a full recovery, with time.

No longer burdened with fear of an imminent crisis, Alexis could get to the bottom of why Slaughter was avoiding a felony assault charge. Her thoughts briefly return to the conversation with her Grams early that morning, before the surgery.

"_Alexis, darling, I will be fine. However, call Gina. Ask her to bring your father's attorneys. Tell them that you need the 'fail-safe' plans. You need to explain what we heard about Detective Slaughter. I'm sure they will offer guidance on what should be done and how to best get the justice your father deserves. He did not do all that charitable work shadowing Beckett to have the NYPD protect a violent cop._

"_I need you to promise me that you will do those two things. I will be fine, but this has become too much. I meant what I said. Your father can not go back … well at least not like it has been. You need to talk to Kate Beckett, as well. Alexis, it's not her fault, give her the option. Do it for your father."_

An hour later, Alexis Castle realizes her life had been changed forever with the single punch thrown by Detective Slaughter. To describe Alexis' state of mind would be difficult. Of all her emotions and thoughts, what matters the most to Alexis is her determination not to take the change sitting down. The attorneys wanted to address the situation on behalf of Rick and Alexis. Her response cut the argument off at its inception.

"No. I need to ask the questions. What I hear and see from my father's friends will be very important to the decision I need to make." Alexis stood and walks out. The attorneys, Gina, and Paula follow close behind. Two minutes later Alexis barges into the private waiting room that had been home for the last sixty-five plus hours.

The room assigned to her and her Grams, the one now occupied by Agent Shaw, Captain Gates, Jake Taylor, Kate Beckett, and the rest of the team, all of them engrossed in the latest information Shaw had on the special investigation. When Alexis burst through the door, no one pulled a weapon, they all knew the security detail would not let anyone in the room that was not authorized.

"Alexis, is something wrong? If not, I apologize, but this is a private meeting, a separate case." Captain Gates was only trying to protect the young woman from the knowledge that would put her life in danger. Unfortunately, Alexis was already beyond angry with the NYPD.

"No, excuse me. The last I checked this room was assigned to my family, while my father is in a bed fighting for his life. Who are you to tell me I'm not welcome in this room?" Her sharp edge and demand for an explanation shocks everyone.

"Alexis, this is a police matter and we are having a meeting." Gates reacts as the police Captain that she is. Always quick to demand respect. After years of fighting discrimination in her work place, she fails to stop and think, even briefly.

"Captain Gates. I guess I was not clear enough. I have a question that is a police matter. See the people standing behind me? Let me warn you, your answer will decide what I have them do. I am tired of playing silly games, of having my father disrespected over publicity.

"It is my understanding that Detective Slaughter assaulted my father. The result of that assault is my father has been in critical condition for almost three days. Why has Slaughter not been charged with the felony he committed and arrested?"

The tone in Alexis' voice was cold, hard steel, rigid. It left no room for maneuvering. An answer was clearly required.

"Ms. Castle, I'm a Captain with the NYPD. While I understand your frustration, I do expect you to show me some respect and ask for an explanation not demand I respond. I don't work for you." Gates caught herself a second too late. The mocking laughter from Alexis was scary.

"Oh, but you do. Captain." The last word said in derision. "You see, I am a tax paying citizen of the City of New York. In fact, I'm fairly certain I paid more in taxes last year to the city than what you made. However, all that matters is I am a citizen of the city. Ultimately, you do work for me. Now answer my damn question. My father certainly earned that much respect, after all he has done."

Alexis had never shown this side of herself. She had grown up a polite and mature young woman. Never an air about her over her father's money or her own. Few people know Alexis is already worth nearly fifty million dollars, with an annual income of just over one point five million. Her father invested well for her, and she receives royalties from the Nikki Heat contracts.

Agent Shaw stepped in, "Alexis, please, your father wouldn't…"

"Lady, I barely know who you are. I am sure you mean well. Last night, I stood with Grams and listened to all of you talking about how Slaughter would be handled in house. I'm waiting for the highest ranking officer of the NYPD that is here to explain the reason Slaughter is not behind bars. Why is the man who physically attacked my father not sitting in jail? My father's life and mine are forever altered by this and …" Shaw instantly remembered saying remarkably similar words just hours ago.

Kate was next to try, "Alexis, this isn't what your father would want."

"Detective Beckett. Please, do you even care what my father wants? After four years, you don't seem to genuinely care. As long as he brings you coffee and helps you with cases, you're happy with things they way they are. I asked you to keep him safe, what did you do when he was assaulted? You stood there and grinned, while he was bent over in pain. Yes, I've see all the videos.

"Captain Gates, I'm demanding an answer for the last time. I want an explanation."

"Alexis, we disagree with it, but it's on orders from the Chief of Detectives, the Commissioner, and the Mayor."

The last word momentarily stopped Alexis from saying anything more. "Excuse me one minute. I need to make a call."

"Uncle Bob. Hi. It's Alexis. No, there's been no change. Are you aware that they are not arresting the detective who assaulted my father?" A pause. "I see. No, I do not agree. No, I am not going to wait and calm down. Uncle Bob, you're wrong. I will handle this, since you are too busy playing politics to do the right thing." Alexis hung up on the mayor without bothering to say good bye.

The fire fueling the rage had gone up a few degrees during the call. It continued to burn hotter with each word Alexis spoke, "Captain Gates, I am notifying you that if the NYPD fails to publicly announce pending FELONY charges against Detective Slaughter by 8:00 P.M. this evening, I will sue all of you, the City of NY, and everyone else that the attorneys consider liable."

"Alexis, you can't sue the city, your father signed a waiver. Besides, it's not what your father would want." Gates had softened her tone and was hoping the young Castle would recognize that a lawsuit was an empty threat.

"My attorneys disagree; you see the waiver was for accidental injury or death while shadowing homicide detectives of the 12th Precinct. There was no waiver signed when my father briefly spent time with Detective Slaughter. You seem to forget one exceedingly significant piece of evidence; the video clearly shows the punch was deliberate by the detective, making it assault. My attorneys tell me there are other crimes that likely were committed, as well. I have changed my mind; you now have until 5:30 this afternoon.

"Gina, let the press know, I would welcome the opportunity to address my father's fans live on the 6:00 O'clock news. In addition, any of the morning shows that would like an interview, my morning will be theirs.

"Now, Jake, please have your men escort these people out. I no longer wish to extend them my hospitality. When they are here to visit my father or Grams, they are welcome, but when they want to work on some case other than my father's, they are to do so elsewhere." Alexis didn't wait for an answer, she turned and walked out.

Lanie, Kate, and Jordan quickly went after Alexis. Alexis sensed their approach just before she went into her father's room. She turned to greet them.

"Kate, I'm sorry about what I said. I know you care. I do need to talk to you, not about Slaughter, just not right now. This is … well, it's extremely urgent. Tomorrow night, I will explain. I don't mean to be rude. Kate, make sure you keep in touch with me tomorrow.

"Lanie, you know me. I'm …" Alexis didn't need to finish, as first Lanie, and then Kate, hugged the terrified and angry young woman.

Alexis continued, "Agent Shaw, I apologize. My dad respects you a lot. I …"

Again, an interruption of Alexis' words, "Alexis, it's fine. You have to deal with far more than you should at your age. I won't begin to say I understand. You are eighteen and alone. Now, in a few hours or days you won't be, once your father and grandmother recover. You can lean on us, as long as you need."

Lanie and Kate were hit hard by Shaw's words. Their eyes finally opened to how alone Alexis truly was. Kate took herself to task for not seeing that, recalling how panicked the young woman was during the bank heist. It was only a few months ago. However, in that short time, Alexis has grown from a panicked teenager during a crisis, to a rock steady young woman.

Kate is filled with admiration. Alexis Castle had just shown a remarkable resolve for justice and an unwillingness to be shoved aside by the NYPD brass over Slaughter's reprimand. Kate is beyond frustrated, knowing she will not be able to publicly support Alexis.

She has her orders. Orders that leave Kate with a disgusting feeling. She hates having to follow orders that protect Slaughter. Little does Beckett know orders that she will despise even more will be coming in the days ahead.

* * *

**_A/N_**

Despite doing mostly the right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. The consequences are happening, the first few days even weeks seem to play out in slow motion.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

Alexis was finally pushed a bit to far. Will try to have the next few chapters up this week. I hope to post at least two a week, more if I can. Martha's issue may seem to be quick, but that's because it was caught before it exploded. Still her recovery will take some time and while it is a positive out of the Castle tragedy it is not without some consequence. It will become clear as time goes on.

Not beta checked due to schedule. Will make corrections if they are significant.

Thanks for reading.

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**_Thank you, for taking the time to write a review._**


	14. Discoveries

_**Consequence ~ Chapter 14**_

_**DISCOVERIES**_

* * *

_Previously …_

_Lanie, Kate, and Jordan quickly went after Alexis. Alexis sensed their approach just before she went into her father's room. She turned to greet them._

_"Kate, I'm sorry about what I said. I know you care. I do need to talk to you, not about Slaughter, just not right now. This is … well, it's extremely urgent. Tomorrow night, I will explain. I don't mean to be rude. Kate, make sure you keep in touch with me tomorrow._

_"Lanie, you know me. I'm …" Alexis didn't need to finish, as first Lanie, and then Kate, hugged the terrified and angry young woman._

_Alexis continued, "Agent Shaw, I apologize. My dad respects you a lot. I …"_

_Again, an interruption of Alexis' words, "Alexis, it's fine. You have to deal with far more than you should at your age. I won't begin to say I understand. You are eighteen and alone. Now, in a few hours or days you won't be, once your father and grandmother recover. You can lean on us, as long as you need."_

_Lanie and Kate were hit hard by Shaw's words. Their eyes finally opened to how alone Alexis truly was. Kate took herself to task for not seeing that, recalling how panicked the young woman was during the bank heist. It was only a few months ago. However, in that short time, Alexis has grown from a panicked teenager during a crisis, to a rock steady young woman._

* * *

_**At the same time, back in the private waiting room …**_

Captain Gates is talking on her phone. "Yes, sir, Ms. Castle was adamant she wants Detective Slaughter charged with assault. Apparently, the family's attorneys have advised her that there they feel there are grounds for felony charges in addition to the assault. Sir, she was quite upset, demanding we have until 5:30 to announce pending charges, or she plans a live press conference for the six o'clock news."

After a brief pause, "I understand, I will ask her to meet with us. Yes, sir, 5:15."

Gates turns to the waiting group, "Esposito arrange with the hospital staff for a conference room. We will need it no later then 5:00 PM, ask them for use of it sooner if possible. Ryan, start packing up. Mr. Taylor, please coordinate with the detectives on anything you need to ensure the safety of the Castle family."

A short time later Kate Beckett, Lanie, and Agent Shaw return, there is less than two hours until Alexis' 5:30 deadline. Shaw excuses herself to make some phone calls. Beckett and Lanie get to work helping the boys separate and pack up the various photographs and evidence. Most of it is from Castle's case, but there is some from Beckett's, they had been cross-checking to see if they could find any connection to what Castle had on his smart board and what might have happened to him.

"Detective Beckett before you put that away may I have a look at that photograph?" Jake Taylor was already reaching for the picture, before he finished the question that sounded strangely like an order.

Beckett looked to Gates who nodded her approval. Silently she handed the picture to Taylor. He studied the picture briefly. After just a few seconds his voice came out low and with a deep raw resonance, "How is this rifle pictured here related to all of this?"

Kate visibly flinched, "Excuse me?"

"Kate, I'll explain, but tell me first. This rifle?" The tone was painful and demanding, Taylor was reacting in much the same way Kate felt she had responded when Esposito first placed it in her hands. Taylor was visibly and audibly shaken by the picture that he held in his hand.

"It's the rifle that was used to shoot me last year at Captain Roy Montgomery's funeral. Why?" Kate spoke in a controlled nearly emotionless tone, it was flat, her breathing deep and deliberant.

"I … I'm sorry … it belonged to my best friend, Martin Holst. I assume you know that and that he was killed seven and half years ago. Notice the marks on the scope, and the matching ones on the butt of the stock, if you put an infrared light on it, those scratches will be helping outline his initials M-H." As he finished, tears rolled down the cheeks of the man who clearly had earned respect and admiration of all who knew him. "Excuse me, I need to take a walk. I need to talk with all of you, but give me until tomorrow please."

"Jake what do you know? I'm sorry this is important."

"Detective Beckett, I don't know anything, I just figured you all wanted to talk." Then he held is finger to his lips indicating not to say anything more. At first, everyone was unsure why. Then he cupped his hand to his ear, as if he was trying to listen to something that was too soft. He pointed to Esposito and Beckett as he handed them empty coffee cups, signaling with his hand a talking motion.

"Beckett let's go get some coffee. Captain, Lanie, anyone else?" Esposito had immediately understood what Jake was indicating, that someone might be listening.

"I am going to look at this photo for a few minutes; I thought I would never see his rifle again. They recovered his body. He was a hero and he wanted that rifle buried with him." Jake Taylor instead turned and walked out right behind Esposito and Beckett.

They quickly headed to the cafeteria but just before they got there, Taylor guided them into a supply closet.

"We don't have much time, I need to get back to the conference room and make some noise. My tech team will sweep for bugs. I was not lying. I do not know anything. However, the after action report on Marty's death was pure bull. His rifle ends up in New York City. It is used to shoot you Detective Beckett; I need to do some digging with and on friends.

"Esposito get the FBI to get you a copy, you will see the B.S. I need to triple the security on Rick and his family. All of you be very careful.

"I intend to prove what I have long felt in my gut, Martin Holst was murdered. By a SEAL or someone close to his team over in country."

His stunning revelation finished Jake Taylor walked briskly out of the room and then double-timed his strides to get back to the private conference room. After stepping back inside, he returned to the conference table. His left hand tracing the gun as he spoke, "When Beckett and Esposito get back let them know I will be available anytime they want to talk."

He wrote a quick note and held it up for Lanie, Ryan, Captain Gates, and Agent Shaw. It read, "Talk about Rick's condition, or anything not case related."

Taylor than methodically started looking for electronic bugs, he also sent a text to his tech team ordering them to come sweep the Trauma I.C.U. for bugs. Discretion was the key and any bugs found were to be identified, photographed, and left in place.

A short few minutes and Gates announced they should all go eat. Everyone left the private room. They did take advantage of the break to visit Rick and Martha, and to eat. Captain Gates let Alexis know that the Chief of Detectives wanted to meet with her at 5:15. Alexis' asked if Slaughter was going to be charged Gates was honest she simply did not know, though admitted the Chief of Detectives was not likely to change his mind.

_**Five Twenty-Three P.M. Sunday …**_

Alexis Castle calmly makes her entrance to the private waiting room, as she steps inside her poker face masks her feelings. One look at the man standing talking with Captain Gates and Alexis knows … he's angry, arrogant and dismissive. His glance as she entered followed by the quick shift of his eyes back to Captain Gates and shown Alexis a thing or two. Finally, five minutes later he deemed it was time to talk.

"Ms. Castle, I know you are upset darling. We will take care of this matter; Detective Slaughter will face the Conduct Review Board. He will be found guilty and suspended. Now, why don't we just forget all this silliness about the press. You shouldn't worry your pretty little head with matters such as these, let the adults take care of things. After all we know what's best."

"Sir, I assume you are the Chief of Detectives. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Alexis Castle, my father is Richard Castle. I assure you that nothing would have made me happier than if the adults had handled this properly. If so you likely would have taken Detective Slaughter's badge from him years ago. Certainly, this time he should be behind bars.

"The video is clear, Detective Slaughter willfully and intentionally attacked my father in the 12th precinct. However, for reasons that no one has bothered to explain you ordered that instead of criminal charges the detective would face a conduct review. I will ask these questions once, first why did you give that order, secondly, what is the likely punishment by the review board and third why was this not the decision of the District Attorney?"

Seven minutes later after being talked to as if she was a child in need of a scolding Alexis Castle turned and walked out, the Chief of Detectives was caught on camera and by a parabolic microphone screaming at her, "Ms. Castle, you come back here. You are being foolish, Detective Slaughter was just messing around … "

The bombshell was shared to all media outlets, by none other than Alexis Castle, as she stood tall and proud in front of the world media. Rumors had spread fast throughout the news community, after days of silence not only was there to be an update on the condition of bestselling author Richard Castle. His previously off limits daughter would be speaking. What the media was not expecting was a scandal of alleged cover up, and protection of a violent cop, by the Chief of Detectives of the NYPD, Chief of Police and the Mayor.

"I want to assure the people of New York, my family remains confident that the majority of the NYPD are dedicated, hardworking, and honorable public servants. The decision to attempt to protect one of their own was made by a select few.

"My father's life and mine have been changed forever. There will be no additional information regarding my father's condition until there is a significant change. It may be weeks until he can speak, if he wakes up. He will face a long recovery and therefore we ask that you respect our privacy.

"My father's publicist will provide copies of several relevant videos. The events and comments speak for themselves. In light of the decision to cover up the assault on my father, those responsible for that choice failed to do their duty, to protect a citizen of the City of New York. Therefore, I reluctantly announce at this time, our attorneys are preparing a lawsuit against the NYPD and the City for 150 million dollars, plus pain and suffering.

"All questions should be directed to Paula Hass, my father's publicist in writing. I thank you for coming and please keep my father and all the patients in your thoughts. Good Night."

The questions are shouted in an overwhelming wall of noise, Alexis steps back and walks away, as several security guards whisk her to safety inside the hospital.

At 7:30, Alexis Castle and Dr. Amanda Davidson exit the hospital for a quick trip to a nice mom and pop restaurant nearby. It's not a famous eatery, but the food is expertly prepared and most importantly they are able to dine in seclusion. One of several private dining rooms made available to the daughter of the owners' favorite author.

Their conversation is relaxed as Amanda congratulates Alexis on her amazing speech. Amanda assures Alexis that Rick would be proud of her strength and courage. They talk about a variety of lighter subjects until finally Alexis asks Amanda about the road ahead. The timeline until her dad is likely ready to be moved to a recovery center. They have a brief discussion before Alexis shares some documents and information with the doctor. The final comment came from Amanda, "Alexis I will keep all of this in mind. Two weeks at the earliest, though more likely it will be three weeks or more. May I keep this to review?"

Alexis' nod of approval ends the discussion. They head back to the hospital under the watchful eye of the security team Jake Taylor had insisted accompany Alexis, Amanda was surprised to learn that moving forward she would have two armed escorts 24 hours a day. Fail Safe was open and the first step of the process was in play.

During the ride back to the hospital Alexis relaxes beside the older woman who is making her feel a little less alone. "Amanda, why do you care so much about me? My dad?"

"I enjoy your father's books. They take me out of my comfort zone, into a part of the world I see the end results of, but not the why. I escaped from my life into his words. I have long wanted to meet him.

"I know he's not the page 6 guy, and now I am getting to know you. I hate why, but you are a remarkable young woman. Your dad is surely proud."

"Thank you, I can't say that enough, not only for what you have done for dad and grams, but for treating me as an adult. I look forward to getting to know you and dad's going to love you."

* * *

**_A/N_**

Despite doing mostly the right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. The consequences are happening, the first few days even weeks seem to play out in slow motion.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

Alexis was finally pushed a bit to far. A few things are starting to surface, pay attention there are details comong out that are important.

Not beta checked due to schedule. Will make corrections if they are significant.

Thanks for reading. I will say that with now 14 chapters and over 200 subscribed to alerts, it would seem that a few more reviews might be possible. Just let me know what is working or not, I dont need a review that just says ... nice .. good story .. etc. ... 200 subscribers tell me readers like it.

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**_Thank you, for taking the time to write a review._**


	15. Movements

_**Consequence Chapter 15 ~ Movements**_

_Previously …_

_During the ride back to the hospital Alexis relaxes beside the older woman who is making her feel a little less alone. "Amanda, why do you care so much about me? My dad?"_

"_I enjoy your father's books. They take me out of my comfort zone, into a part of the world I see the end results of, but not the why. I escaped from my life into his words. I have long wanted to meet him._

"_I know he's not the page 6 guy, and now I am getting to know you. I hate why, but you are a remarkable young woman. Your dad is surely proud."_

"_Thank you, I can't say that enough, not only for what you have done for dad and grams, but for treating me as an adult. I look forward to getting to know you and dad's going to love you."_

A short time later Amanda finds Alexis in with her grandmother, "Alexis, your father is not improving as fast as I had hoped, but there are signs the infection is weakening. They are going to keep your grandmother asleep until in the morning, just to be safe. As your friend and your father's doctor, I want you to go home and try to rest. You're not going to do them any good if you end up in one of our, oh so not, comfortable beds. Can you do that for them? Is there someone who can stay with you?"

"I will stay here in the waiting room, there's no one."

Sensing just how alone and overwhelmed the young woman is feeling Amanda presses on, "What about Detective Beckett, Dr. Parish?"

"Umm, we haven't really been talking. They were all gone when we got back." Alexis left out that there was a note from Kate Beckett, and another from Lanie Parish. Both saying the same thing, call if you want or need anything, signed with only their first names, this latter fact was confusing. At one point, she had felt close to both women, but the last eleven months, had driven a wedge between Detective Beckett and Alexis. They had not yet found a way to work out their issues. Up until the Plaza Bombing things had been going well with Dr. Parish, but that was the end of internship and since then with graduation approaching there had been no time to get together. Alexis simply felt they were two people she had known, but no longer knew.

"Alexis, you really need to sleep in your own bed. I'm not sure I should offer this, but if you have a guest room how about if I take you home, deal?"

"You're saying dad's doing well enough you can leave? Are you sure? I trust you. You said you wouldn't leave till he was out of danger. I …" The emotions were pouring out nearly as fast as the worried redhead could talk.

"He's not out of the woods as we say, but the odds are very good that he will recover. He is strong enough that you and I can let him rest alone, while we sleep somewhere else tonight."

"Amanda, I'm scared to leave them. If you're really sure it's okay."

"Alexis, I'm sure. Joan is working tonight, I'll make sure she calls if there is any reason to comeback." The strong hug was not the response Dr. Davidson expected.

"I can be ready in fifteen minutes. I need to let Jake know."

Thirty-five minutes later the two women walked into the Castle loft. Both were overwhelmed by the sight before them, Amanda at the clean, elegant, upscale loft, which was clearly a home and not a cold apartment, and Alexis by the presence of crime scene tape on the door leading to her father's study.

Alexis finally broke; the sobs that shook her body and soul were overwhelming. Amanda knew this was coming, but was still taken back at how powerful the raw emotions were. Alexis needed a friend and Amanda did the only thing she knew by pulling the young, scared, woman into a hug. Two hours later, a lot of tears, and talking the two women were more than just friends. Alexis was grateful for someone who cared enough to be there without condition. Amanda had experienced a new sensation, someone other than a patient needed her. They shared stories and fears, laughter and tears, neither sure what the growing friendship meant, both secure that it was not going to be a simple brief acquaintance that would fade.

"Amanda, thank you. I sure say that a lot it seems. I'm ready to sleep, let me show you to the guest room. Please, if there is anything you need let me know. There is plenty to eat and drink, dad always makes sure we have EVERYTHING." Half a giggle as everything rolled off her tongue and a genuine smile at the memory.

"I need to be at the hospital early, will you be okay alone?"

"If you don't mind, please, check with me before you leave. Even if I am asleep, okay?"

"Of course, Good Night." A soft hug and the two ladies parted, Amanda into the "guest room" unable to suppress a laugh, the room was huge and yet comfortable.

Meanwhile across town there was a loud knock on an apartment door. A grumpy Detective answered his door, expecting another member of the press; he was poised for a fight. Instead, two men shoved him back into his own apartment that scared him, an emotion that Ethan Slaughter rarely felt, a third stranger walked in behind the two goons.

"Mr. Slaughter, I have a few questions for you. No harm will come to you, but you must sit, listen and answer. You have heard the news tonight, my boss sent me to see you. Are you interested in hearing an offer that will ensure you never have to worry about the trumped up charges that appear to be coming?"

"Who are you?"

"Trust me you don't want to know. Now back to the question, I have an offer from my boss, he can make the charges disappear before you are ever arrested. Do you want to know more or take your chances?"

Slaughter was at times a bit arrogant and dense; this wasn't one of those times. He had already talked to the best defense attorney in the city, a man he despised, but one who got the job done. The man painted a less that appealing future, in short he had told the detective that if he was charged, due to the severity of the injuries and the celebrity status of Richard Castle a ten-year prison term was probably the best hope.

"If I say no to whatever you offer?"

"Detective, you won't do ten years, more like twenty. Oh, I almost forgot you will be in general population in Sing Sing." That last sentence delivered with a soft menacing whisper. The flash of pearly whites in sharp contrast to the man's dark brown complexion, Slaughter knew this piece of excrement, but couldn't remember his name. Something about drugs and The Heights seemed to come to mind.

The message was clear, accept the offer that was surely dirty or likely die at the hands of one of the many hardened criminals who hated cops, that lived in Sing Sing Prison. "Sure, I'll listen." Slaughter offered in a tone that didn't give away how he felt, sick and scared. Dealing with the devil was terrifying.

"Wise choice. My boss will decide, you may actually be charged and arrested, but if so don't worry, you will be free without posting bail. I will leave this phone with you. Leave it at home, you will only be called when you are here. You will be given your assignment. Carry out your mission and you will receive fifteen million dollars, and a new life. Try to cross my boss and you will die. Have a good evening." The sinister laugh and gleam in his dark eyes was terrifying. Fifteen minutes later the phone rang.

"Slaughter."

"Just checking, Detective you do understand you will be leaving New York when this is over, never to return. It's a good thing you don't have a family. Oh, and if that slut you are screwing gets wind of this … well I'm sure you understand. You best get that out of your system while you can, I'm sure her husband will welcome that turn of events."

Slaughter held the phone for another minute before realizing the call was over. The cold reality was not welcome, he was in deep trouble and this latest piece of information told him whoever was in charge knew everything. Slaughter understood now there was no way out. It would be a long night.

At 6:15 A.M. on Monday the phones started ringing …

"Beckett...I understand...8:00 sharp." Kate glanced at her clock frustrated that she had been called and given orders to report to One PP at such an early hour. Five minutes later Esposito called her, he had the same orders and so did Ryan. Beckett knew that something was up, there was no doubt it was over Slaughter and the lawsuit announcement by Alexis.

The meeting was short, to the point and harsh. After a tirade by the Chief of Detectives directed at them Beckett, Esposito and Ryan were give the first of what would be a series of painful orders. The Chief made his anger quite clear as he barked out the orders.

"Detectives effective immediately you are to have no contact with the Castle family regarding any cases, nor are you to visit the hospital while on duty. If you violate these orders you will be suspended indefinitely without pay, pending a hearing to dismiss you from the department for failure to comply with direct orders.

"Report to Captain Gates for special assignment, she is being briefed at this time and is expecting your prompt arrival. You will be working seven days a week, twelve hours a day until this assignment is completed. Go see your Captain, now get out of my office, and do not disappoint me."

The three detectives left without saying a word. They were so amazed at the anger and the orders none of them could think of anything appropriate to say. They shared a cab in silence, arriving at the 12th they made their way to the Homicide Division bullpen. Captain Gates told them to grab coffee, notepads and to meet her in the small briefing room.

Half an hour later, there was even more to wonder and worry about. They were being sent undercover, but not as a team. Beckett would be working with vice on a high-end call girl sting operation, while Ryan would be back with is old vice squad. Esposito was assigned to work with SVU. The only minor piece of good news was the assignments did not start until the next day.

"I don't like this anymore that you all do. Clearly, this is payback over the lawsuit and to keep you from interacting with the Castles. From what I have been told these assignments should not last too long. By having you away from the 12th it will be harder for the press to find you. Go see the people in tech they will issue you cell phones to be used during these assignments. Once they are set up, bring your department cell phones to me. I will hold them here until this media frenzy blows over."

_At the hospital … _

Alexis was smiling as she held her grandmother's hand. "Grams, please, try not to say too much. Everything is going to be okay. Dad's infection is starting to go away. Amanda said the progress over night was very encouraging. No, Grams don't try to talk, you're still fuzzy headed from the medicine."

"Alexis Castle, I'm fine."

"Grams, rest I need to go see dad. Then, I have a meeting with Gina, Jake and the attorneys. Yes, they agreed with you it is time to put the plan into action. I will explain more this afternoon. I love you." Alexis gently kissed Martha on the forehead, while she squeezed her grandmother's hand.

Martha watched her granddaughter walk out, a mixture of pride and sorrow washed over her. Alexis had always been wise and mature beyond her young age, but the last few days Martha feared were too much even for someone so strong. Martha needed to seek out a few allies to help watch over Alexis. As she was considering who to ask for help, Martha welcomed the sight of Dr. Amanda Davidson and the lovely nurse Joan something. "Ladies, good to see you, Amanda thank you for taking care of Alexis last night."

Twenty minutes later the two professionals realized they had been roped into a scheme, by a patient less than 48 hours post op from brain surgery. Joan Ingram broke the silence as they walked down the corridor, heading to cafeteria for coffee, "Amanda what are we getting ourselves into."

"Joan, I don't know. The Castles are a lot stronger than the page 6 image that is portrayed as Richard Castle. I never believe the playboy hype. I sure didn't expect the strength that Martha and Alexis have shown. Martha is right though, Alexis could really break from all this. If you don't want to be part of this they will understand."

"You know better. It will be a fun change of pace for a bit. It will be interesting to see how they all recover and put their lives back together. Besides, I don't mind spending a little time with Jake Taylor." Joan's blue eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief as she spoke the man's name. That fact was not lost on Amanda, who noted the interesting development.

Neither lady had any inkling of what was in store for them, as a result of the plan that would soon be set in motion. Pieces where being put into motion and over the next few hours and days the pace of change would pick up.

* * *

**_A/N ~ I will try to update faster, but some changes have made writing time very difficult to find. Please stick with the story. I hope to make the wait worth your while._**

Despite doing mostly the right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. The consequences are happening, the first few days seem to play out in slow motion. The pace begins to pick up.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

* * *

**_Thank you, for taking the time to write a review._**


	16. Consequences & Diversions

**___Candor & Diversions_**

_~ Consequences Chapter 16 ~ _

* * *

_12th Precinct, NYPD_

As the team walks back into the bullpen, after picking up their burner phones for undercover work, they are surprised to find Captain Gates and Agent Shaw in an animated discussion. They approach the pair, who stop talking and Gates smiles as she offers the team a bit of news.

"We have a lot to talk about but not here. Let's go grab some lunch, I'll collect your phones then. I know you are anxious to get to the hospital, since I am using my discretion and giving you the rest of the day off."

Smiles of relief take over and with quick murmurs of agreement, the group heads out. Ryan suggests Remy's, but Shaw vetoes the idea. "No, we need somewhere out of the way, private. Kate, how about that pizza place Castle took us to, isn't that close to the hospital?"

"Yes, it's not a cop hangout and if I tell the owner we need the private room and that Rick sent us …" Kate's smile at the thought soon turns to one of longing. She misses her partner, her friend, and if she were asked, he's the man she loves. She has been ready to tell him for weeks, since the Boylan case, but she's not seized the moment and now she can't bear the thought of not telling him just as soon as he is awake.

Kate was so lost in thought Esposito had to pull her out of the elevator. The others discreetly didn't say a word. They all understood in their own ways. Half an hour later they were seated in the private room, Anthony assuring them they would not be disturbed, the waiter would knock and wait to be invited in.

"Kate, Espo, Ryan, you won't be on those undercover assignments long if at all. Captain Gates explained the assignments; I have my people working on getting things moving quicker than I had planned. I can't read you all in just yet, but Kate you need to be prepared, you boys too. We are getting close on the man who ordered the hit on you Kate." Shaw paused to let the news sink in. The questions were forming, but she didn't want them asked, just yet.

"Kate, I promise soon, but not right now. When I say prepared, you need to pack clothes for at least a week and possibly longer. We will be working out of town, that's all I can share on location at this time. I know you need to see Rick and his family, until we leave you will be given as much time as possible. Now if I can pull you out of those undercover punishments you will be working and long hours, with my team. This was in the works, just going to start sooner than planned if I can pull the right strings."

There is a knock at the door, Esposito walks over to let the waiter in and is pleasantly surprised to find Lanie standing on the opposite side of the door. She quickly lets him know that Gates had sent her a text telling her where to find them. They spend lunch talking about the crazy turn of events with Alexis taking her stand. They all agree that the way the Chief of D's treated her, she had shown a remarkable level of maturity in not calling him out during her press conference. They are all stunned by the amount of the lawsuit, all except Shaw. Having seen financials on Castle during her investigation, his annual income was staggering and his future was even brighter prior to the attack.

Just as lunch is coming to a close Shaw gets a call, "Agent Shaw, I see. We need them now not in three weeks. Yes, I would appreciate that. Please, keep me informed, we may have to go with material witness warrants."

Turning to Beckett and the others, "Kate, we are getting stonewalled on your team joining us. I will get you on the team. For now pack as I mentioned, and do what you have to do until you get new orders. As you likely heard, I may have to have warrants issued and hold you as material witnesses…officially. Of course you will be working with us, but your status may be as witness for the time being. One more thing, I need names and addresses of everyone's immediate family. Current cell phones as well for them, we will be pulling your families into temporary protective custody. I need to go, I will call all of you later. We will need to meet late, but not at the hospital."

The team disburses to go home and pack, each of them hoping for the call that will grant the reprieve from purgatory. Kate most of all, she knows without even being told that she is going to be one of the "escorts" in the sting. It would not be the first time, but after the last time she swore never again. Briefly, she considered filing a grievance through the union, undercover was technically supposed to be voluntary. All of that was secondary to getting to Rick, quickly. Kate knew that no matter what the next few days had in store, seeing Rick was going to be difficult at best.

_**Lennox Hill Hospital, New York City**_

Kate arrived at the hospital at three fifteen, and rushed to the T.I.C.U. only to learn Rick was in radiology for another scan. "Hello, Detective Beckett, please, do not worry everything is fine. Dr. Davidson ordered a scan, its routine after all Mr. Castle has been through."

"Joan, thank you. Have you seen Alexis? How's Martha?"

"I am heading there now. Why don't you come see for yourself?"

Kate is grateful at the sight she sees. Martha is sitting up in her bed, a smile graces her face, and it grows bigger when she notices Kate.

"Kate, darling, come in, you are just in time. Alexis has to leave for an appointment. Please, tell me you can stay for a bit."

"Martha, you…wow you look, well better." There was visible signs. Martha's color was stronger, she appeared calmer, no tension on her face as had been visible for months.

"Yes, dear, I had no idea just how badly I was doing. The headaches had been around for a while, and I just assumed it was the joy of owning my own business." Martha thought briefly about the irony of finally getting to the point of being self-sufficient again, only to have a brief moment change all she had worked so hard to create.

"Kate, I must say you look terrible. You are not sleeping are you? Eating? Come dear, sit down tell me everything. You have a captive audience, and I won't tell a soul, not even Richard." Kate was surprised at just how strongly she knew Martha meant those words. The words left no doubt, Kate could tell Martha anything, and she would keep the confidence.

"Martha, I couldn't."

"Yes, you can. How about you unburden yourself to relieve my boredom, I promise not to ask about your feelings for Richard. I know his side and suspect yours, but perhaps it best if you keep that to yourself. Unless of course you want my advice on how to…well never mind that just now."

"Martha, all of this is complicated."

"Kate, you don't have to try and be nice or protect me. I know all about the lawsuit. While, I am sorry that you are likely facing pressure because of it, you need to know Alexis and I decided on the lawsuit together. It was her idea, but after hearing her reasoning and plans I fully support her decision. So, tell me what is being done to you and the others? The Castle family is not without connections as you known, perhaps we can help."

Nearly an hour went by, as Kate talked about not only the new orders forbidding visitation during duty hours, vague information about special assignments, and the exciting news concerning her mother's case. The latter information changed the mood in the room.

"Dear, I know you need the closure. Be careful, Richard did what he did to keep you safe. I know you are angry and hurt. He knew you would be. He wanted to be with you when you took the man responsible for this mess down. Kate, only you know whether you can forgive him, for choosing to keep a secret that he hated, in order to keep you safe. Richard should learn it from you, so don't say a word."

"Martha…"

"Katherine Beckett, you have a right to be upset with Richard. Trust me he knows that. I think you even understand why he did it. That makes it hard for you to justify your hurt. I meant what I said, however you plan on dealing with all of that is between you and Richard. If you honestly want my advice, talk with your father. Tell him what Richard chose and how you feel. I am proud of Richard, he has become a better man, and he made the choice despite my warning him it was not the best idea. He simply told me that you needed time, to work on some things. He explained that once you had done so, he would then share that mysterious Mr. Smith and all the rest. Richard wants you to get your justice; he just wants you alive in the end. That is why he kept the information close; it was never going to be forever.

"I've shared more than I have the right. I will not say anything more about all that. I will offer you this; you have both been hurt deeply, because you fear losing the other. Richard can no longer help you do your job, he will miss that, if you were both being honest you would admit this stopped being about books or seeking justice for others a long time ago. You kept each other safe, in every way, but your hearts." Martha stops, takes a slow, deep breath. She looks deeply at Kate, hopeful that she is conveying her belief in what could be.

"Kate, I'm sorry. They told me not to overdue things. I want to continue. I'm just tired, so sorry …" Martha, fell asleep in mid-sentence; Kate took a minute to even realize. She found herself wondering, how Martha understood the anger and hurt, when Kate had been denying it to herself.

Kate was asleep in the chair, having fallen face first onto the edge of the bed only minutes after Martha. That is where and how Alexis found the two women when she returned from her meeting. Before, she could decide whether to say anything a nurse came in, and apologized, but they needed to wake Martha for dinner. Alexis offered to do it; the nurse smiled knowing that the grandmother would be more interested in the young woman than some stranger waking her up. "I will be back in a few minutes to check her vitals."

"Grams, it is time to wake up, dinner. Come on Grams." Gently shaking her grandmother's shoulder caused the bed to move, this woke Kate who was startled and disoriented briefly.

As things came to focus, Kate noticed the confused look that both Martha and Alexis were sharing. They were looking at her, with questions clearly on their minds. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to sleep."

"Kate don't be silly. Thank you for keeping Grams company, it means a lot."

"Alexis, Kate, why don't you to go somewhere nice for dinner? Alexis you need to fill Kate in on the plans. Kate has an assignment and she may not be available for a few days.

"Kate, darling, listen to all of it, and if you need to talk, well there are people who will listen. Now, please, run along so I can eat in peace." Kate started to object, but the look in Martha's eyes seemed to convey that this talk with Alexis was important.

"Kate, grams is right. We really do need to talk. That is unless you feel you need some more sleep. If so, I can wait until later, but with your assignment we have to talk tonight. I'm sorry for that."

"Let me freshen up and I'm all yours." The mood had shifted and though Kate wants the call from Jordan, she begins to hope that it does not interrupt. The fiercely determined part of Alexis had been evident in the statement, whatever was coming, could not wait.

Twenty minutes later when the nurse returned Kate and Alexis, left Martha. The latter having implored both of them to listen to the other, that they owed Richard their cooperation and understanding.

"Alexis, all this seriousness, the urgency to talk, has something happened with your father? They took him for a scan." The concern and fear were palpable in Kate's voice.

"He's fine. Amanda, sorry Dr. Davidson, said he's starting to improve, just very slowly. However, what we need to talk about does concern your dad's health. Let's check in on dad, even though he will still be sleeping. We will talk over dinner." As they entered the room, a young nurse was startled to see them.

"Oh … hello, I was about to take his vitals. Dr. Davidson will be by later. Excuse me, but are one of you Alexis?"

"I am."

"Dr. Davidson asked me to let you know she was needed in surgery. She hopes to be free to talk to you afterwards. She wants you to leave a note for her with Joan about where to find you after nine."

"Can you let Joan know that I am going out to dinner, with Detective Beckett, and they can call me on my cell. I will come back afterwards. I will stay until Amanda… Dr. Davidson is available."

"Sure, why don't I let you two visit in private. I will let Joan know, and then come back to take your father's vitals." The young nurse leaves, forgetting all about the medicine filled syringes in her pocket. Castle was due for the sedatives and pain medication; without the combination his body, wracked with pain, would try to wake up.

Alexis and Kate, both are relieved to see that some color is returning to Rick's skin tone. After just a few minutes, they leave for dinner and the talk, which they both are more than anxious about.

* * *

**_A/N ~ I will try to update faster, but some changes have made writing time very difficult to find. _**

**_Please stick with the story. I hope to make the wait worth your while._**

Despite doing mostly the right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. The consequences are happening, the first few days seem to play out in slow motion. The pace begins to pick up.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

* * *

**_Thank you, for taking the time to write a review._**


	17. Hints

_**~ Hints of the Future ~**_

_**Consequence Chapter 17**_

_Previously …_

_"Sure, why don't I let you two visit in private. I will let Joan know, and then come back to take your father's vitals." The young nurse leaves, forgetting all about the medicine filled syringes in her pocket. Castle was due for the sedatives and pain medication; without the combination, his body, wracked with pain, would try to wake up._

_Alexis and Kate, both are relieved to see that some color is returning to Rick's skin tone. After just a few minutes, they leave for dinner and the talk, which they both are more than anxious about._

They are just passing the private waiting room when Jake Taylor steps out. "Oh, there you are Alexis; I need to talk with you briefly. Detective Beckett, Agent Shaw and I just finished talking, she needs to see you for a minute as well. Alexis will you come with me while I go talk with your grandmother; we should only be about ten minutes, I have already called the restaurant and pushed your reservation back thirty minutes to be safe?"

"Jake can't this wait?"

"Alexis, I'm sorry it can't, and Kate needs to talk to Shaw."

"Okay with you Kate?"

"Sure, I do need to talk to Jordan about something of my own."

Kate steps into the room where Jordan is waiting, while Alexis strides quickly back in the direction they had just come from. "Alexis, why the hurry?"

"Jake you know what I have to talk to Kate about. This had better be important." She does not wait for a response as she turns into her grandmother's room.

"Alexis?"

"Hi Grams, Jake needs to talk to us."

"Martha, please pardon the interruption. You look better than when I saw you a few hours ago. This is important. I have to leave unexpectedly. I will be gone at least until early next week. I promise to be back in plenty of time, and I'm sorry, but I cannot tell you where I am going or what I will be doing."

"Alexis, it will be okay. Jake, whatever this is, must it be done now?" Martha offers a reassuring smile to her stressed granddaughter. Alexis' stress was shown by her arms folded in a show of frustration, with her fingers clearly digging into her biceps.

"Martha, Alexis, I promise if I could put this off until after we execute the plan I would. I will have my phone with me at all times, call any time day or night. I am leaving instructions with the team, but if for any reason you are not satisfied with their response call me. I have ordered the team doubled in size at my expense just to be safe. Alexis, I do know that you need to spend time with Detective Beckett. I must remind you that when you talk she can only be given the option to join us no details. Her father is welcome as well, that was in your father's instructions."

"Jake, what about her friends?" Alexis, unfolds her arms. The news is confusing, but it gives her a chance to ask about Espo, Lanie, Ryan and Jenny.

"Perhaps later if your father approves, but right now the logistics would make it impossible in the time we have left. I will put my team on contingency planning for that, but if Detective Beckett makes it a condition of her joining than tell her you cannot promise. Besides, this is about your family."

Meanwhile In The Private Waiting Room …

"Jordan, you wanted to see me? Alexis and I have dinner plans; she has something important to talk to me about. I'm glad she's finally going to let me help."

"Kate, I understand. I would not have asked if this was not urgent. First, I cannot get you out of your undercover for a day or two at the earliest. I am sorry.

"Let me get right to the point of the urgency. You, Espo, and Ryan are going to be transferred to the F.B.I. as temporary Special Agents. That is why the delay in pulling you off the undercover; the paperwork will take a few days. I need to meet with you and your team tonight. I will wait here for you to return, your team will be here by 8:00. Did you pack already?"

"Yes, for ten days, it would be easier if you could tell me whether I need cold weather clothes. I have those in a separate bag. What else is going on, I can see it in your eyes?"

"Kate, we've gotten some really good information in the last week. In addition, with your help and knowing now a little about this deal that they forced on Rick, well the pieces of the puzzle are starting to fit. I can't say more, but there are some things that may pan out, some field work that is close to fruition."

"Jordan are you telling me that your investigation is about to take down my shooter or the Mastermind who ordered my mother murdered?"

"Hopefully both, but the Mastermind who we have learned is called The Dragon is who we are going to move on. If we can figure out the last few pieces, that is where you come in; hopefully with your help we close the case. There is not much, but some new information in what Rick had managed to put together. With Rick out of it, you are the only hope to figure out what he put together.

"You and your team are the only ones we can trust to look at NYPD case files. We are sure that we are missing something, everything points to some hidden information in case files. You, Espo, and Ryan will be spending a lot of hours looking at files and answering questions that have been compiled."

"You're serious? An arrest could come soon?" Kate Beckett was nearly speechless, she shifted from one foot to the other, while chewing her lower lip to pieces.

"I do think so. We need to make the case airtight. You do need to be sure that you want in. I cannot explain more at this time. Once you are in, there is no turning back until this ends."

"Of course I'm in. Nothing will stop me from taking the bastard down."

"We'll talk more details later, any questions?" Shaw is already pulling her phone out and scrolling through her contacts.

"You said the end of the week at the earliest; do you expect things to happen that quickly?" Kate is wondering just how much Jordan knows that she is not telling.

"That's how soon you and your team will start briefing and reviewing cases. We will be off grid on this, and you and your team will be leaving with me no later than next Thursday."

A knock at the door interrupts. "Kate, that's going to be Jake and Alexis, go enjoy your meal. I do not need to tell you not to discuss this with anyone, even Alexis. We simply don't know who might be listening." Jordan points to her left, Kate smiles knowing that listening devices are still in place in the room that is assigned to the Castles. Even Alexis knows to only use the room to call her friends, and others with good news.

Jordan gives Kate a smile and waves her out, already holding her phone to her ear while she waits for her call to connect. Kate turns and walks out.

"Alexis, everything okay?"

"Yes, Jake just needed to let Grams and I know about his trip to visit his sister. I really did not need to be part of that. Are you hungry?"

"Starved."

"Me too, let's go."

After their brief delay, they are finally on their way. Kate is cautiously upbeat about a final resolution on her mom's murder, and curious about the upcoming conversation with Alexis.

* * *

**_A/N ~ I will try to update faster, but some changes have made writing time very difficult to find._**

**_Please stick with the story. I hope to make the wait worth your while._**

A very brief unexpected interlude that gives Kate Beckett, reason to hope, how will it affect her decisions moving forward. There will be decisions and consequences as the events unfold in the chapters ahead.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

* * *

_I was a bit surprised by the lack of reviews for the last chapter. There are a lot of subscribers to the story (about 225), I need some feedback. Averaging over 1,000 views per chapter. 16 chapters. Is it really that hard to click the button and type out a few words of encouragement or critique? ... hey dummy I dont like how _ ... oh, for those missing Rick's voice, be expecting it very soon. He's been silent to long, by design :)_

_Otherwise, I'm just guessing that everyone likes it as it is written, is there too much dialogue, not enough? More action? I can't promise to meet everyones needs or ideas, but I do welcome them. Who knows maybe one of you will suggest an idea and it fits, if so I will try to find a way to work your name (real first or your fanfic name) into the story. _

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**__****_Thank you, for taking the time to write a review._**


	18. Kate's Rights

_**~ Informing Beckett of Her Rights ~**_

_**~ Consequence Chapter 18 ~**_

_Previously …_

_After their brief delay, they are finally on their way. Kate is cautiously upbeat about a final resolution on her mom's murder, and curious about the upcoming conversation with Alexis. _

"Alexis, where are we going to eat?"

"It's a surprise, I hope you don't mind."

"Umm, I don't really like surprises…" The look she sees on Alexis' face causes Kate to stop her comment mid thought.

"I know, Grams told me, to be honest I'm not sure myself. Something about security and misdirection, I should ask are you afraid of flying?" A slightly amused look appears on the young woman after she notices the somewhat perplexed look coming from the unflappable Kate Beckett.

"Afraid of flying…we're just going to dinner aren't we?"

"Yes, I forgot to ask earlier. Jake asked me, said a helicopter was harder to follow. Oh, here we are. Kate are you okay with this?"

"I need to be back by 8:00, 9:00 at the latest." Still somewhat amazed and confused by the change in transportation, Kate is gently nibbling on her lip, not afraid just anxious.

"Jake, Kate needs to be back by 8:00 does that fit the schedule?"

"It will be tight; if I call ahead and place your orders it should be workable. Detective Beckett would it be a problem if you weren't back until 8:30 or so?"

"I really wanted to see Rick tonight." The hopeful sound in her voice fades to disappointment quickly, when she realizes visiting hours end at 8:30.

"You will get to see my dad, I promise. Let's get going."

They quickly board a helicopter at the Sixth St. Heliport in lower Manhattan. Forty minutes later, they are approaching the East Hamptons. Looking out the windows the getaway homes for the rich and famous are stunning, the perspective from the air provides an all-encompassing view. Kate looks to Alexis; the unasked question is easy to read.

"I don't think so, but let me ask. Jake are we going to the Hampton's house?"

"No, the airport, then to Mama Pierce's, and she will have everything ready by the time we arrive." Alexis smiles a genuine smile for the first time in days. The restaurant is her favorite, it is not fancy, but the food is good home cooking. The menu always features New England and Southern favorites.

Nearly moaning in excitement she turns to Kate, "It's a good thing we are hungry. Gramma Pierce will be insulted if we don't make fools of ourselves eating way too much."

* * *

**_Back In The City ..._**

Slaughter receives the phone call he has been dreading for nearly 48 hours. "Slaughter, in or out?"

Knowing he really has no choice. "In."

The sinister laughter is bone chilling, "Instructions will be delivered, do not fail. If you do you won't have to worry about going to Sing Sing."

The call ends. The two men dressed in black nod, they say nothing as they detach the recording equipment from the burner phone, Slaughter hopes they know what they are doing, and he knows his life depends on it. When they approached him from behind as he came back from meeting with his lawyer, he assumed they were delivering the message. Once, inside his apartment the motions to act normal, as if they were not there, surprised him.

They used iPads to type out questions to him, they typed in his responses. Simple shakes of his head, up and down for yes, side to side for no.

"_Have you been approached to do something?" _ He nodded yes.

"_Do you know the person?"_ Yes and no, was the confused response.

"_You recognize the person, but don't know the name?"_ An affirmative nod and a look of who are you people? He got a negative side to side response.

"_Going to show you some pictures, shake you head, no if not the person, yes if you see the person."_ A series of pictures were shown, the thirteenth picture got a very vigorous yes.

"_Are you certain?"_ Yes. Yes. Yes, Slaughter's eyes told them he was not lying. He started to speak, and the bigger of the two unknown men shook him off the idea. Finger to his lips, and repeated no.

"_For now do what they say, unless they tell you to act tonight. If they do tell you to act tonight, agree, than put on that yellow polo on your bed. You will be picked up if you leave your apartment in that shirt. Here swallow this aspirin." _The fear in Slaughter's eyes is telling.

"_It's safe, a GPS transmitter. There are more in the Bayer bottle in your bathroom. Take one every twelve hours until you receive your instructions. Remember the yellow shirt lets the watchers know you have the instructions. Don't be fooled they have no intention of letting you live, so don't be stupid."_

* * *

_**Back in the Hamptons… **_

Five black SUV's pull through the gates of the private parking lot. The tall bank of evergreen trees ensures privacy from the road. The parking hidden below what appears to be a large flower garden; this is the special area for the guests of Mama Pierce who desire discretion. The restaurant closed to the public on Mondays, but for special guests it is always open. For Alexis or Rick Castle that means literally twenty-four hours a day, three hundred sixty four days a year.

"Alexis come here my baby." The smiling matron of the converted colonial home gathers Alexis into a welcoming hug.

"Honey, how's your dad? The news had me worried, but you are here."

"We just left him. He's still being kept asleep, but Amanda…sorry Dr. Davidson said he is starting to improve. A long road ahead though. Oh, allow me to introduce Detective Kate Beckett. Detective Beckett this is Mamma Pierce."

"Detective Beckett it is an honor to meet Rick's inspiration. You are even lovelier than he says, please, I know you are in a bit of a hurry. I setup a buffet for you in the private room." Mamma Pierce guides the two ladies down the hall and into a beautiful room that looks out to the southwest and across a marshland.

"I hope you enjoy your meal. Alexis you know where the buzzer is if you need anything. We will catch up another time, give my love to Martha and tell Rick to quit wasting time." She tilts her head in Kate's direction while she winks and the end of her statement.

The feast laid out along the wall is amazing. True to the description there is just about every type of food one can imagine, Clam Chowder, Lobster Tail, Southern style fried and BBQ chicken, prime rib, a variety of steamed vegetables, and more.

"Oh my, Alexis, how many people did she think was coming?"

"They're all my favorites, dig in. Then Jake and his men will no doubt feast on what we do not eat. If you want, more of something tell me. We have to take a couple of trays of this back to the hospital. The cakes and pies are to die for."

With more food on her plate than she can imagine eating, Kate finds herself relaxing as they sit by the large window. "I want to enjoy this food, but you brought me here to talk."

"Please, take a few minutes and just relax. We will get to business soon enough. I need to ask Jake something. I will be right back." Alexis gracefully stands up and walks over to where Jake is standing by the door.

"Jake unless I miss my guess, she will need time to decide. Do we have a date yet?"

"Today is the 23rd, for logistics May 4th is the latest for her answer, preferably sooner. We will be leaving by the 19th, unless Dr. Davidson advises against it. Remember, she can know only the basics, including the dates. If she does not agree by the 4th she is out." His rather furtive glances in Kate Beckett's direction had allowed him to notice she was still very much on edge. "She must sign that confidentiality agreement, before you share any of this."

"Thanks, Jake."

Alexis rejoins Kate, and is grateful that the food has the detective occupied. The next thirty minutes they both enjoy the meal, despite eating in a bit of a rush.

"Kate, I am sorry. Before we can talk about what I need to share with you, I have to ask you to sign this confidentiality agreement. If you like there is an attorney waiting who has been retained to represent your interests.

"The agreement is pretty simple, just that our discussion is confidential. If you disclose any part of the conversation in the next year, you are liable for damages. Should you sell the information to any media outlets, you would be liable for ten times the amount you receive or one million dollars, whichever is greater."

"Wow, is this really necessary?"

"Kate, it is per my father's instructions. It applies to anyone who is to be told what I am about to share with you." Alexis felt more than a bit silly insisting on this with Beckett, yet at the same time, she was still uncertain about just where the detective stood.

Kate read the agreement quickly; seeing it was indeed very straightforward, she signed it. A woman, who had come in and was standing observing the disclosure and their signatures, took the document and notarized the agreement. "Ms. Castle, Detective Beckett, I will bring you both copies in a few minutes. May I leave the copies with Mr. Taylor?"

"Yes, of course, that okay with you Alexis?"

"Thank you. That would be perfect." Turning to Kate Beckett, Alexis takes a deep breath.

"Kate, I need to ask you a few things. These are for my benefit. Before I get started do you have any questions?"

"No. I just want to know how I can help." The look on Kate's face is one of expectation. She is also trying to let Rick's daughter know she will do anything that is needed. "I promised your dad to be here for you if you ever need me."

"No offense Kate, but I am just fine. Of course, this is all very difficult, but I have friends. Amanda has been wonderful, Joan too."

"Yes, they have been so kind. Please, what do you want to ask me?"

For nearly a minute, Alexis stares out at the setting sun. Despite preparing to have this discussion all day, she still is uncertain how she wants to start. When she looks back at Kate Beckett the look in Kate's eyes is one of frustration, clearly the detective does not like to be kept waiting. The irony is not lost on the younger Castle, who thinks just as quickly if not faster than her father does. There is a brief flicker of fire in her eyes. Then she masks her expression, this trick coming from her grandmother. The look she shows now is disarming, comforting. The question fired off is a shot across the bow.

"Why did you lie to my father about hearing, and remembering his declaration of love?" The smile she offered while her penetrating question was asked was almost sinister. The loss of composure on Kate Beckett's part set the stage, Alexis was in control.

Before she could answer, Kate had to take many deep breaths. "Alexis, please, I should tell your father this not you. How did you know?"

"I woke up while you were watching the video from the interrogation. You are right; my father is owed an explanation. Unfortunately, we don't know if he will ever be able to hear or understand it." Silently Alexis' expression told Kate she was expecting the truth. That she was terrified beyond words about whether her father would make it, was masked by her determination to do what her father asked of her.

"I'm not sure. I needed time, to sort everything out. So much…" Kate could not finish her breathing was rapid; she was on the verge of tears.

"I could understand that when you were still in the hospital. Once you were released, you should have at least told him you heard."

"I … uhhh." Realizing just how guilty she was, Beckett was left speechless. She never meant for it to be more then a few days. It wasn't intentional, she's spent many hours beating herself up over it.

"Why didn't you call him like you promised?" Alexis was like a shark in the water, the first hint of blood and she was circling.

"I was afraid." The answer was honest and raw.

"Of my father?" The idea was foreign to Alexis; she could not begin to voice just how crazy the notion was.

"Yes. No. I do not know how to explain it. I meant to call. Then everything was happening, and it was three weeks later. They came in told me I could leave the hospital. I should have called. I've apologized to your dad."

"Your damn straight you should have called. Kate, honestly there is a lot here that I need to understand, if we ever have the time. Right now, we best move on a bit." It was move on or start yelling, and this was not the time for the fight.

"Alexis, you have a right to be angry. Please, know that if I could, I would change it all. I handled in poorly, I can explain it better, if you will allow."

"Not now. I'm not sure I really want any explanation. Let me ask you, do you love my father?" She knows the answer, but how Kate responds will tell her a lot.

"Yes, of course. He is my partner. My friend." She cannot share that he is her one and done. She has to tell Rick that before sharing it with anyone else. She misses when Alexis raises her eyebrow questioning Kate's answer.

"Hmm, not sure whether to believe that is your honest answer. No, I know you love him. Just seems a bit off." Kate cannot help but think Alexis is very much Rick's daughter, she sees the things hidden in subtext just like her dad. Beckett smiles at the thought.

"Kate, I need you to humor me. I want you to close your eyes. Think about this next question, I need your answer. Your answer will tell me a lot, okay?"

"I guess so. Is closing my eyes really necessary?"

"Yes, I need you to relax your facial muscles, just close your eyes and take three deep breaths." Despite feeling a little silly, Beckett does as asked.

"Kate, if my dad asked you to give up police work and marry him, would you?"

Before she speaks a word, the expressions run fast and furious. There is shock, then a brief smile, and finally a look that is a mixture of uncertainty. "He would never ask that of me."

The answer, while in many ways true, does little to help Alexis sort out her confusion. Kate failed to recognize that things have changed drastically, so Rick might just ask or at least hope she would give it up. More importantly, there were no words saying she would marry him at all.

"Should I take that answer to mean you don't know, or do you know and just don't want to tell me that you don't love my father in that way?" Alexis is pushing to see if what she heard her father say is true. Does Kate Beckett only see him as a partner and nothing more?

Many things cause the hesitation before Kate answers, finally she tries to answer, "If he asked me to give it up, I don't know. I think you know things have been awkward lately. Are you asking if I want to marry your father?"

"Yes. If he was here right now, and you had to say yes or no?"

"Yes, …I think. I…there is so much." Before she can say anything more Alexis interrupts.

"Kate, I apologize. I do have my doubts. I think you love him, but are not sure it is enough. There are a lot of things that I guess you need to sort out."

"Thank you. Yes, I agree."

Alexis takes a drink of her water, and then another. She adds a couple of deep, slow breaths, as she learned in yoga class.

"I wish I didn't have to do this. Kate, I am sorry."

"Alexis. What are you doing? Are you going to stop me from visiting your dad? Please, don't do that. I know you are upset with me, I am too."

"No, of course you can see him. At least, while he is in the hospital."

"What do you mean?" The edge in Kate's voice is her nerves. She can sense there is something going on.

"I am following my father's instructions. I will tell you that if it was up to me, I am not sure I would ask you. I do not know that you deserve the chance. I want you to know that until you were shot and all that stuff, I wanted nothing more than for you to love my dad. You were good for him.

"But something changed just before you were shot, and then it got a lot worse. Even after you came back, it was never like it had been. There were very few times this last year that I felt you were good for my dad. Though, I can never thank you enough for getting dad and grams out of the bank."

"Alexis, I was not going to let them die. I understood what you were telling me. I didn't want to lose them either." The simple statement was filled with love and sincerity.

"Kate, I don't get it. You say things like that, and other times it seems you just walk all over my dad. You fail to see him. He has been by your side, and waiting, for nearly four years.

"Here it is. I have to say this; you have a decision to make. Will you take a leave of absence or resign, to be there for my dad? Before you answer, let me explain. I cannot give you details, but because of dad's condition, a plan has been activated. Dad designed this in the event of his death or incapacitation, his instructions are clear.

"The quick version is we are leaving New York. We will go into seclusion at one of several private locations. I do not know where, dad worked hard on the plan. All of his medical needs will be seen to of course.

"You and your father are welcome to come with us. If you choose to do so, you will have no worries financially. Any and all of your debts will be paid in full, lost income will be paid in full, and you will have no worries beyond being there to help my father.

"If you choose not to come with us, I'm sure my father will understand." Alexis does not offer that she expects Kate not to come.

"Alexis, for how long?" Kate's first thought is that if they will be gone a month or two there is no question she will go, even for six months. Anything longer and she is not sure what to think.

"I had a long talk with Amanda. Dad will likely need a lot of help for at least a year. I would hope that if you want to come, that you would commit to at least that long. If you are not sure that you can do it, then I have to ask you not to come."

"I want to…but…things are happening that I can't talk about."

"Something with your mom's case?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"I think I just saw the look of pain that my dad has told me about. He says it's a deep anguish that kills him not to be able to help you with."

"But he has, so much. I don't know that I can give it up right now. May I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"If I don't come with you, when you leave, can I join you later?"

"My dad's instructions about all of this are clear. There are ones specific to you. I am not allowed to share the details, but the answer comes from my dad. No, you would not be allowed to join us later."

Kate nearly bursts into tears; she cannot believe that Rick would put such a condition in this plan. "Your dad actually said I can't come later if I want?"

"Kate, I will arrange for you to read that part of dad's instructions, if you need to see it for yourself."

Alexis is using her discretion. Her father's instructions were clear, that if Kate chose to stay behind, to investigate her mother's murder, then it was up to Alexis or Martha how or if they explained the reason she could not come to them later. If she chose the case, putting her life at risk over being safe, Rick left clear instruction they were done. There seemed no real purpose in explaining it. The detective had just said her decision would hinge on the case. The information that was supposed to be provided to Kate, if she made that choice, was already in the hands of the NYPD.

"No, as hard as it is to believe, I do not doubt you. I have learned a lot about you and your father is so proud. Your honesty and integrity amaze me. When do you need my answer?"

"You have some time, but the sooner the better. If you have not said you will come with us by noon on May 4th, than you will no longer be welcome. Will that give you enough time?"

"Yes, I am sure I can answer you by then. One other thing, do you know when you are leaving?"

"Barring any complications, we will leave on Friday the 18th. Dr. Davidson said that he should be healed well enough to be transported at that time."

* * *

_**Lennox Hill Hospital**_

An hour later, Alexis and Kate arrive back at Lennox Hill. Their flight back found them both in deep thought, and anxious to see Rick Castle. That one thing united the two women. Neither could admit to how much they wished they knew how to reach out to the other. Each understood the other was hurting, and in many ways why, they just did not know how to help. They had grown apart in the last year, from their once rather close relationship.

When they walked into Rick's room he seemed to be less peaceful, for the first time in days there were hints of life. His face was twitching, his eyes were visibly moving under his eyelids. The two startled women rushed to each side of his bed. Alexis was scared, and she did not say a word.

Kate, while unsure what to make of the physical changes, needed him. She desperately wanted to tell him that she was sorry, that she hated knowing how he learned of her lie. Most importantly, that she no longer wanted to wait, she was ready to try with him, and she just needed him to understand how close they were to finally solving her mom's murder. He had promised to be by her side, she already knew how she would make sure a part of him was with her when it went down.

Even though she knew that when she touched his hand, it would feel cold and lifeless, she still wanted that bond, needed to feel their connection, their spark. Each time she had taken his hand the last few days, the lack of spark had torn her apart, but once she got past that, there was the faintest hint of his pulse, proof of life.

She reached down and took his left hand in hers, expecting cold, pliable fingers. She was terrified when they closed in a death grip and crushed her hand. More shocking was the sound.

"Oh god, it hurts. Please, stop, Kate, Kate!" The shear terror and anguish in his strained scream was brutal to all who heard it.

Rick Castle had just been snapped from his semi-conscious state by the smell of cherries, and by Kate's touch. He was in the middle of a bad dream at the time she took his hand, triggering his pain-filled outburst. No one would ever know the dream that had just been interrupted...

"_Rick, of course I knew you were behind the glass. You just wouldn't take my hints that partners meant just that. _

"_So. Let. Me. Make. It. Clear. I. Love. Josh. I. Lied. About. Breaking. Up. With. Him." Each word was emphasized with Kate's poking Rick in his chest right at his heart. In his dream her finger was a like a branding iron, searing a hole through his heart. _

The pain of the dream faded instantly, he was too out of it to remember it once he woke up. Unfortunately, he could not escape the physical pain in his body. His heart rate and breathing instantly shot to dangerous levels. The alarms sounded and the staff responded to the automated code call.

They tried to pull Kate away from the bed, only to realize that Rick's pain was causing a death grip that could not be broken. Kate was in tears, from both Rick's outcry and the physical pain in her crushed hand.

Dr. Davidson realized that Rick was awake despite the medication administered to keep him sleeping and out of pain. "Rick Castle, can you hear me? My name is Dr. Amanda Davidson. You are in the hospital. I know it is scary and you are in pain. We will take care of it. But first, open your eyes. Alexis is here and you're scaring her."

Alexis was indeed terrified, but Joan was right beside her. "Alexis go to your dad, talk to him. Amanda is trying to pull him awake; he wants to wake up apparently."

* * *

**_A/N ~ A quick turn around this time._**

There will be decisions and consequences as the events unfold in the chapters ahead.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

* * *

_The review response was much better, thank you. Some very helpful comments, please, keep them coming._

_ There are a lot of subscribers to the story (about 225), I need some feedback. Averaging over 1,000 views per chapter. 17 chapters. ... hey dummy I dont like how _ ... oh, for those missing Rick's voice, be expecting it verr, very soon. He's been silent to long, by design :)_

_ Who knows maybe one of you will suggest an idea and it fits, if so I will try to find a way to work your name (real first or your fanfic name) into the story._

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**_Thank you, for taking the time to write a review._**


	19. Lost In Space

**_~~ A/N ~~_**

**_No the world's not coming to an end. Yes, there really is a new chapter posted (more to come soon)._**

**_I apologize as an unexpected turn of events stopped me from writing for the last 7 months. I have provided a synopsis of the first 18 chapters to help jog the memory of those who have patiently waited for update. It's not detailed, but may serve the purpose for those who have read the previously posted chapters._**

**_I will update faster, but writing time is difficult beyond a few hours a week. I do have the next three chapters almost ready (one is finished first draft and editing has begun, and the next two are close (until I find a beta or two - self editing will have to do). Also, unless it really hurts the story faster posting and lest extensive editing for now. There are several more chapters mapped out as I work towards the final path. Please stick with the story. I hope to make the wait worth your while. I have known the end since I started, but life stopped me from writing. I will finish this in as timely a manner as possible (weeks more likely than months ~ thankfully)._**

Despite doing mostly the right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. The consequences are happening, the first few days seem to play out in slow motion.

The pace will be picking up in the chapters. One more chapter that will be a day, then chapters will move ahead quickly ... as the team prepares to go after the Dragon and Castle begins to heal both physically and emotionally. Remember, his injury happened right after Headhunters, Undead and Always never happened in this story.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

* * *

Previously …

The failure of Beckett, and others at the 12th to check on Castle after he was punched by Slaughter has dangerous consequences. A few hours after that punch, everyone but Castle was at The Old Haunt when Captain Gates arrives having learned just minutes earlier that Richard Castle was being rushed to the hospital, due to being found curled up in pain and bleeding profusely from his mouth.

The news stunned the team, and the depth of his injuries left him fighting for his life. Alexis had found her father in his office.

At first no one knew how he was injured.

Alexis was in shock, made worse when they learned just how bad his injuries were. She is unsure how to react to Beckett, because she knows that Kate lied to her father about remembering everything, and that he questions Kate's feelings.

During the investigation of what happened at Castle's, the boys discovered Castle's smart board with his information on Johanna Beckett's murder. Esposito mentioned the punch to Gates, and said he thought it was horseplay, but after Kate reviewed the security footage everyone can tell it was a hard blow. They all felt guilty for not checking to see if Rick was alright.

Beckett takes it the hardest, the initial shock had triggered her PTSD. When she realized she might have made things worse by not checking on him, she drove herself harder. Hours on end of worry, and watching videos pushed Kate deeper into emotional exhaustion. Knowing the blow by itself was only part of what had happened, Kate continued viewing video and discovered why Rick started pulling away, though she doesn't realize he thinks she doesn't care. The team is not pleased with her once they find out about her lie.

Even worse Alexis saw the video, and her father's troubling reaction to Detective Beckett's admission while interrogating the bombing suspect. Her father's reaction, an earlier overheard talk between her father and Grams, and talks between Kate and Lanie, all combine to leave Alexis hurt and confused. She's mature beyond her years, but needs someone to lean on even just a little. Surprisingly it comes in the form of Dr. Davidson (if you don't remember it might be worth revisiting chapters four and five).

Kate is even harder on herself. She got lost in self incrimination about the various ways she's lied to Castle, beating herself up far more than Rick ever would if he had known about the lies.

A stranger appeared suddenly and with everyone on edge Esposito pulled his gun. Faster than anyone could have expected, Jake Taylor disarmed Esposito, leading to a standoff. It turns out Taylor handles Castle's security, but also has questions about the rifle used to shoot Beckett. From this former seal they learned that Castle had been training in order to learn hand to hand combat and get in better shape ... it was not lost on anyone that he was doing so because he felt he had failed to protect Kate when she was shot.

Slaughter has been brought up on discipline charges, but not criminal ones. This angered the team, while infuriating Alexis. Having power of attorney for her father she went on the offensive, announcing a lawsuit and telling off most of the team for having failed to have her father's back.

Slaughter was approached by two sets of mysterious figures. One a rather sinister african-american that Slaughter vaguely knows controls the drug trade in Washington Heights. He brought Slaughter an offer, millions and a new identity, for doing an assignment, refuse and Slaughter would rot in prison. The good guys tell Slaughter they know, to play along and give him tracking devices to swallow every 12 hours. They leave a way for him to let them know when he is approached again.

On top of all this Alexis has to deal with Martha having to have emergency surgery. Thanks to Dr. Davidson catching some warning signs, Martha will be fine. Even before this turn of events, Alexis had met with the family attorneys, learning of her father's contingency plan if he was incapacitated or worse.

After several days of tension, and a second round of surgery for Rick, he is facing over a year of recovery, if he survives, and two years before he can possibly shadow Beckett again. Martha agreed with Dr. Davidson who said Castle should never work with the police as he had, desk duty/consulting was okay, but not fieldwork.

Alexis takes Kate to dinner to discuss a contingency plan that will take Castle and his family into seclusion. Alexis gave Kate the option to join them when they left for Rick's recovery. However, Agent Shaw had shown up earlier with promising info on the dragon. Kate and her team are going to join Shaw for the investigation. Since, Rick can't be moved for a few weeks, and Shaw expects to be moving on the Dragon soon, there appears to be no issue with timing, It's simply up to Kate whether she will step away either temporarily or permanently to be with Rick while he recovers.

Just after this conversation, Alexis and Kate returned to Castle's side. He has been kept in a medically induced coma since surgery. Unexpectedly he woke up in pain and confused.

We pick the story back up in the middle of that point in time ...

* * *

_**Lost In Space**_

* * *

_**~ T.I.C.U. Room 214 ~**_

Rick Castle can hear voices calling him, they sound like they are from outer space. They are distant, tinny and Dr. Davidson, aka Motorcycle-Boy, just called himself _Amanda_. Briefly Castle wonders why Josh is bothering him. Disoriented, he can't seem to open his eyes. He cries out, "Danger! Danger!" The next few words were mumbled before he clearly cried out, "Let me go, you crazy martians!" His subconscious takes control and he tries to sit up, to pull his arms free, especially from the death grip holding his left hand.

At the same time, everyone in the room witnesses Castle's body thrashing about, trying to do things it shouldn't. His strange cry about martians was heard by all. Deep in his mind's eye, Castle was watching the robot from the 1960's tv show "Lost In Space", his body was mimicking the robot or at least trying to. None of the witnesses had any idea why he was suddenly thrashing around.

"Daddy! Please Daddy, I'm right here." The terrified Alexis is transported back to being daddy's little girl. Frightened and scared, yet determined to get through to him … somehow.

"No, not my daughter, my baby!" He cries out while yanking harder with his left arm. The violent movement racks his body in pain. The sudden powerful movement causes Beckett to lunge forward, pulling her over in freefall, she reaches out with her left hand in a subconscious reaction to the sense of falling. Her hand lands low on Castle's abdomen. Fortunately, not on top of the surgical wounds, but dangerously close to crushing another region of his body. Nearly all of her weight ends up being supported by that hand, forcing it down hard.

"Ugggggggggggggh! … owwwwwwwwwwwww!" Castle feels the alien stab him low in his gut, his body thrashes about in an attempt to escape.

"Morphine, valium" Dr. Davidson calls out, knowing that Nurse Ingram would already have the proper doses on the crash cart for the critically ill patient, who was in danger of undoing all her hard work. She gently reaches her hand out, trying to soothe her patient.

"Castle, I'm so sorry!" Beckett half wails in despair. She pushes herself off, having no choice, not even thinking about another surge of pain to Castle. This time his eyes shoot open, tears are rolling down his cheeks. His eyes are frantic, pain etched on his face, desperate to gain focus.

"Castle, Rick!" Her voice going from a Beckett bark to a whisper of joy from Kate. Briefly his unfocused eyes glance in the direction of the voice his inner brain loves to hear. Just as his eyes truly focus in and he sees Kate Beckett with mortified look mixed with pleasure, another spasm of pain wracks his fragile body. His mind flashes to the deep dark thoughts that his writer's brain can speed through instantly … somehow he knows this stranger willfully lied to him, she doesn't love me, she loves Josh. Wait who's Josh? The memories are a blur, yet seem to be so real. The physical reaction in his eyes was visible to everyone, they suddenly grew dark. For Kate and Alexis, it was a frighteningly brooding near mirror image of his reaction when Castle heard her confession during the interrogation.

Before Beckett can say anything, Alexis cries out, "Daddy!" This time Rick turns to the voice of his little girl. When his eyes focus on the young woman before him, his brain transmits a series of messages. They play out on his usually animated face … confusion reigning supreme … this woman before him is not his little five year old girl who loves to walk in the park holding her daddy's hand.

"Who are you? Where's Alexis?" Rick Castle manages to croak out, just as another spasm hits his body. Alexis doesn't know how to respond. She stands there, mouth agape.

Joan looks to Amanda who nods. She administers the morphine first, while Amanda speaks gently to the three patients in the room. "Rick, Mr. Castle, I know you're confused. We're giving you medicine for the pain and to help you relax. You will sleep for awhile. Alexis is right here and she's safe. Your mom is too. We will talk soon."

It takes a few minutes, before Castle is no longer fighting the two hands holding his. His eyes spend most of their time attempting to focus and understand the images in front of him. The beautiful redheaded woman calling him daddy, in a grown up version of his baby's voice. His eyes dart to his left, the mixture of pain and relief on the face of someone he seems to know, but can't yet place. The haze of pain, adrenaline, and medications pull him slowly back into the darkness of space.

As she looks at Rick and sees his body start to relax, the grip of pain easing, Beckett breaks out the Kate smile. She thinks back to the hostage crisis at the bank, the joy she feels is ten times greater, the smile brighter. He quickly looks away, back to his daughter. Kate doesn't mind. He's smiling, yet Kate knows him well enough to know that he's off a bit.

"Alexxx …" His voice slurs before he can finish, but the tone was pure question. Alexis was nodding her head instantly, tears of pure joy dripping rapidly onto their joined hands, she quickly kisses her dad's hand. A brief smile as his eyes close and medicated sleep takes over.

"Alexis, Detective Beckett. He will sleep a while, we will keep him out until at least the morning. I'm not sure why he woke up, his medications should have kept him under. We will run some tests and I will give you an update." The two women just nod, both lost in the space of their own feelings. He was coming back.

Alexis turns and quickly runs out of the room, to the room right next door. "Grams, he woke up!"

"Detective Beckett. I'm sorry, but we need to run some tests. You can come back later, if you like." It takes a minute for the words from Nurse Ingram to sink in.

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry." Kate walks out. She's both exhausted and wide awake at the same time. She makes her way down the corridor, reaching for her phone. Just before she can hit speed dial 3 to call Lanie, she sees Agent Shaw round the corner and several others, who are clearly agents, walking briskly behind her. They were hustling a tall distinguished older gentleman into the private waiting room. It takes only a few seconds until Kate breaks into a run … bursting through the door … "Daddy?"

**_Trauma V.I.P. Waiting Room #2_**

**_Assigned to N.Y.P.D _**

"Katie!" The embrace is so much more than a hug. Sobs breaking out as Kate is pulled into the loving warmth of her father's arms. She really needed her daddy, something that hasn't happened in years. "Katie, it's okay. I got here as soon as I heard. You know how I get when I'm fishing. I'm sorry. How's he doing? What happened?"

Instead of answering, Kate pulled back, the tears still flowing, but the smile answered the most important question. The rest could wait. "Daddy, how?"

"I was just tying the boat off when a very tall man approached and asked if I was Jim Beckett, Detective Beckett's father. He said to call him LT and that he was an officer from the 12th. I immediately feared the worst. I think I scared him, his face went pale. He then said Rick was in trouble, something about emergency surgery. Honestly, I was so relieved you were okay I didn't follow the rest of what he said."

"Yeah, Rick was rushed here and we still don't know exactly what happened. He nearly died." Kate can't continue, the emotions finally pouring out. After a minute, LT walks in with Captain Gates, Espo, Ryan, and Lanie. The look between Beckett and LT, despite silent, conveyed a ton of emotions and gratitude from Kate. LT smiled softly, his eyes telling her he knew she would do the same for him. Then it hit her.

"LT, I thought you were supposed to be in the Bahamas?"

"I was going on vacation, I'm supposed to be right here." Unsaid, LT had given up his plans the minute he learned Castle was fighting for his life. To LT, Rick Castle was a member of that blue brotherhood, having earned it by being there and doing the work, but most of all for trying to protect Beckett from the sniper's shot a year earlier. LT looked around the room, at his friends and then to the door, concern briefly flashing in his eyes, there was a mixture of concern and steely resolve showing. He started to speak, but Ryan cut him off.

"LT, thank you, we understand." Ryan knew it would embarrass the normally soft spoken LT, if he had to explain why he was there. LT was part of the family too.

Lanie broke the silence, "Kate, tell us that smile is good news about Rick."

"He woke up. Well briefly, but they had to knock him back out. Dr. Davidson is running some tests. She said he shouldn't have woken up. But he talked!" The last part brought a bigger smile, despite the uncertainty of what it all are smiles all around including from Captain Gates.

For a few minutes there are hugs and talk of "I told you". Everyone is briefly enjoying a few tension free moments. Slowly a single piece of paper is passed around. On it are simple instructions for Beckett, Esposito, and Ryan to be at the conference room on the delivery ward in thirty minutes. The room had been secured after Jake Taylor's team had found the seldom used conference room was free of any electronic "bugs"

Kate was the first to speak, "Come on dad, let's go visit Rick and Martha."

She points to the paper and mouths twenty. Everyone understand she means twenty minutes. The others make similar comments about generic things to do.

**_T.I.C.U. Room 216 - Martha's_**

Five minutes later Jim Beckett is surprised to learn that Martha Rodgers is actually a patient, not sitting a vigil at her son's side. In both Rick's and Martha's room, disinfectant had been "accidentally" sprayed onto the listening devices. The rooms were swept several times a day by one of Jake's men who was disguised as an orderly. All records found on this new employee indicated a long history working in hospitals in the greater New York area.

As Kate and her dad left Castle's room to talk briefly with Martha, the orderly walked by timing things perfectly. He bumped into Beckett appearing to knock her off balance, quickly apologizing, while he slipped a note into her hand. They were barely inside the door when she quickly glanced at the note. It was short and to the point, the message read, "bring your father to the meeting," Both Special Agent Shaw and Captain Gates had signed the note. Apprehension quickly replaced the brief feeling of relief that Beckett had been able to enjoy for the last thirty minutes.

"Kate, Jim. It's so nice of you to stop by. Please have a seat."

"Martha, I'm sorry we can't stay, it's been a long day. We did want to see how you're feeling." Kate's eyes were telling Martha far more than the brief statement.

"Kate, I understand. I'm doing much better thanks to Dr. Davidson." Ever ready to take control of a scene, Martha had purposely mentioned the doctor by last name. The effect on Jim Beckett was very much similar to what the rest of the family's had been … he turned a raised eyebrow in Kate's direction.

Kate was too busy observing Martha to notice. The gleam of mischief she saw told her the lady, who at times seemed like a surrogate mother, was indeed feeling better. Martha couldn't keep the soft laughter in. Before anything further was said. "Jim, I apologize. We all got quite a shock when we first heard the name. This Dr. Davidson is a godsend to all of us. She's been just wonderful. You have to meet her soon."

Kate joined in, "Dad, she saved Rick and Martha too." There was genuine admiration in Kate's voice. Turning back to Martha, "I'm sorry, but I have an early day tomorrow and dad's been traveling. We will see you tomorrow. Please, call me if you need anything."

With a quick hug from Martha to Kate, they quickly left to head "home".

_**Secure Maternity Staff Conference Room Third Floor**_

Five minutes later they walked into a small conference room on the third floor. It was very secluded and in a staff only area of the hospital. Security was important.

"Detective Beckett." Then turning to Kate's father, " Mr. Beckett, I'm Captain Victoria Gates, please call me Vicki. This is Special Agent Jordan Shaw. It's so nice to finally meet you, welcome." Gates was reaching out to shake Jim's hand and Shaw was waiting her turn. Both ladies knew without asking who Jim Becket was.

The introductions over, Agent Shaw took the lead as she gestured for everyone to have a seat.

"Kate, Mr. Beckett, I'm sure you are both wondering why we wanted you both here. I need to speak with you and your team, but before we get into that we have an offer that you need to consider. Your family has been put through hell and back, the F.B.I. and the N.Y.P.D. failed you 12 years ago, we won't fail you again.

"This investigation is still very fluid and we don't yet have resolution, because of that I am authorized to offer you witness protection. If you choose that it can be temporary or permanent, your choice. … Kate, please let me finish. I know you won't likely choose that path.

"Mr. Beckett, I have a team of six agents who will escort you to your home. We've had teams watching you, your home and office for the last two months. I'm sure that shocks you."

Left unsaid was there were two teams posing as new neighbors. They had moved in next door and in the house behind Jim's. The teams were actually married F.B.I. agents who had been carefully selected for the assignment.

The look from Jim to his daughter left no doubt on what he wanted, his baby girl safe and out of harm's way.

"Don't even say it. You know I can't dad." Kate said with some despair, knowing she was breaking his heart.

"Katie! I've had enough. I really hoped that after last year you would have learned that your life means more than this sick obsession with being the one to get justice for your mother. I .. I can't watch you throw your life away. Rick's fighting for his life and you are already heading out the door to hunt the murderer. Tell me, didn't you say last summer that Rick and you fought over this, that he begged you to stop? You told me that you felt terrible for the things you said to him that night. Did you ever apologize? Did you ask him why he begged you to stop?" Only the first words were said in a harsh tone, the rest was a barely audible plea.

"Dad, please. I have to."

"No, Katie you don't, you just choose to. Now answer my questions."

"We never talked about. He begged me because he loves me, … I guess." Some doubt creeping into her voice.

"Well you're half right girl." Turning to Agent Shaw, Jim Beckett asks, "Can your agents take me home now? I need to pack."

Jim doesn't wait for an answer, he walks over and quickly pulls Kate into a deep hug. "Katie, you're too stubborn for your own good. I've seen a lot of change in you since last year. I thought just maybe you were starting to realize life is meant to be lived. We will talk tomorrow. You do need to know this, last year before Captain Montgomery was shot I went to Rick and asked him just how bad this all was. After he told me, I pleaded with him to try to stop you."

Before Kate could respond Jim walked away, out the door, leaving a stunned daughter behind. After thirty seconds of silence Beckett steeled her nerves and turned to Agent Shaw offering a nod, then spoke to Captain Gates. "Sir, I'm not going on that undercover assignment. All undercover missions are voluntary and I refuse the "request" that's been made of me. I request sick leave for the next five days. I think I'm coming down with something. or maybe it's just exhaustion from all the over time." The defiance clear in both her tone and the rigid stance she took as she finished.

"Denied." The one word response from Gates, left Kate fuming. The next words the Captain spoke stunned Beckett and her team.

"Detectives Beckett, Esposito and Ryan, I have reviewed your personnel files and it seems you have accrued comp time you must use by the end of the month or lose it. Since, the labor agreement requires I approve that leave or the city has to pay you triple for it, all of you are on leave effectively immediately. When we finish I don't expect to see any of you working on "active cases", if you happen to stop in the precinct for personal reasons." Both Beckett's and her mother's cases were officially listed as inactive cold cases.

The three teammates realized the Captain had found an out for them, and was silently telling them if they came in to use resources to look at the case she was going to have their backs.

Agent Shaw spoke up, "That's my cue. Captain Gates, thank you. You've just made things a bit easier. Each of you has a security team similar to what I mentioned for Mr. Beckett. Here is a burner phone for each of you, my number, Agent Avery's, Captain Gates', and each of your numbers are programmed in. Do not save any personal numbers in the phones, do not make any personal calls from them. There will be some additional numbers that we will add later. For now go home, get clothes packed three weeks worth. You won't likely need a lot of cold weather clothes, but put a few days worth in just in case. I know you have questions, but for now just go home rest, spend some time with those important to you, visiting here, basically take the vacations you just got."

"Sir, Jordan. Thank you, all of us are grateful." Beckett looked over to Esposito and Ryan, Espo was the closest of the three of them to crying. Kate knew that he hated the idea of her being sent into a prostitution sting. He had practically been sick earlier.

"Get out of here. You're on leave." Gates cracked a slight smile as she said it. Reaching out to shake hands with each of them as she made her leave.

Shaw left as well, turning to add one final comment before walking out, "You need to be ready anytime after midnight tomorrow. Take care of any bills or other personal business, once we leave the city you will be too busy to deal with any of that. You can't tell any of your family what you are working on, or when you leave, so prepare them for you being out of touch for awhile. Good Night, I'm proud to work with you again."

Everyone was exhausted, they agreed to meet for lunch. Ryan was first to leave, he wanted to spend time with Jenny, he would tell her what they were doing. He knew she would not tell anyone, and that not knowing would cause her more worry that knowing - despite the danger.

Esposito starts to talk, his brotherly concern evident in the gentle timber of his voice, "Kate. I think … "

Before he can say another word, "Javi, please don't, I have to do this."

"Kate, stop. I was going to say I think you need to spend as much time with Castle as you can. I know you have to do this. I get it." This time there was a crispness to his voice, much like that used with his Special Forces brothers. It belied the closeness and the I've got your back that was forged by years of service. This time the bond was between two hardened N.Y.P.D. homicide detectives, hell bent on taking down a heinous criminal.

"Thanks, See you in the morning. Oh, do you know where Lanie is?"

"She was going to check on Castle and Mrs. R."

"I need to talk with her for a little while, do you mind?"

"Like she'll not tell me in no uncertain terms to go find something to do." He laughed as he opened the door. "Come on, let's go find her. I need to talk to Taylor anyway."

As the elevator doors closed, Kate went silent, her mind pulling her into what her father had said. She understood why he wanted her to let it go, but damn him for involving Rick and damn Rick for agreeing … a YEAR and neither had mentioned it until now. She made a note to have a long talk with both of them when this whole thing was over. They needed to understand boundaries.

Beckett needed an outlet for the stress and right now her father and Rick teaming up against her gave her someplace to focus the frustration. Anything to not feel so helpless, being out of control left Kate Beckett reeling throughout night. Nightmares and hours of sleeplessness ruled her night, she had no idea that in the coming weeks she would face even more demons.

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A/N: A final note as the story moves forward. Hippydragongirl gave selfishily of her time to beta Chapters 1 to 18. While she still helps when she can, her time is limited. This chapter was not edited as strongly. If anyone is interested in helping with edit/beta please let me know.

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**_Thank you, for taking the time to write a review._**


	20. Questions, Questions, Answers?

_**Previously ...**_

_Beckett and the boys met with Agent Shaw and Captain Gates. Kate is dealing with Alexis asking her to be there for Rick, Rick woke briefly, and now they will be leaving to go dragon hunting soon. How will she respond?_

_**A short time later in Castle's room, the all clear signal still in place …**_

"Hey girl, how you holding up?"

"Lanie, I'm … well … confused." The stress of everything weighed heavily on Kate, straining her voice.

"Go on."

"Jordan thinks we really might be close, so it looks like we'll be busy for the next few weeks." Pausing briefly to let that sink in, Kate sees Lanie nod in understanding. "... You know that I had dinner with Alexis. It was amazing. We flew out to the Hamptons in a helicopter. A restaurant opened just for us. Still weird after all this time to see his world."

"Stop stalling."

"It was...awkward. She seems angry, even like she doesn't trust me."

"What did she say when you asked her why?" Lanie knew that Kate wouldn't have asked, she would have avoided, because Alexis wasn't a suspect. If Alexis didn't approve of Kate, it would likely be a big issue. Kate knew how important Alexis was to Rick.

"I didn't. I uh …"

"Come on Kate, we both know she knows about your _little lie_ to her father. Now why would she maybe have some doubts?" Lanie's sarcasm was dripping at the words little lie.

"Lanie!"

"Don't Lanie! Me. You made the mess, you fix it. Now enough stalling, what was so important?"

"They're leaving." The despair rippling through Kate's body was evident both physically and in the anguish of her voice.

"What? Explain!" Surprise having caught the feisty medical examiner off guard. Her voice cracked in response.

"That's what the dinner was about. Alexis said that Rick has a plan, in place in case ... if he was ever incapacitated or worse. They leave in a few weeks. Alexis invited me to go with them."

"Are you going? Where? How long?" Lanie's rapid fire questions once again convincing Beckett that Lanie was a formidable interrogator in her own right.

"I don't know. I probably can't. No idea where or for how long."

"Wait back up, what do you mean you probably can't? What exactly did she say?"

"Alexis couldn't tell me where they were going, or for how long. If I'm going I have to leave when they do. She asked me if I would be there for her dad. I asked her how long."

"Let me get this straight, in response to the question whether you would be there for Castle, your response was to ask for how long. Really? Idiot!"

"What? It's a legitimate question."

"Not really."

"Huh?"

"Beckett the Queen of Denial! You love him, which of course I know. We've all known for nearly four years. So tell me why can't you go?"

"I'm a detective! I can't just quit my job."

"Yes, you can. Besides ever hear of Family Medical Leave?"

"I'm not family."

"Marry him."

"What?" Kate spit out the coffee she had just taken a drink of.

"Kate, it's simple. As soon as he wakes, ask him. He'll say yes."

"Lanie, come on!"

"I'm serious Kate." The set of her jaw and most importantly the sincerity in her eyes left no doubt that Lanie meant it.

"No, enough. I told her I would think about it. But she knows things are heating up on my mom's case." Kate was caught off guard by Lanie's suggestion. It had rattled the normally unflappable detective.

"So, you're going to let him fly away, while you chase some ghost? Do your think it's wise to let Alexis think her dad's not important enough?"

"Come on. She knows. … Wait, where is he flying to?" The fear crept into Kate's voice at the mention of flying, before she consciously felt it. Shaking off the thought, she told herself, _No, he won't leave without me. No way!_

"Figure of speech. We just had this discussion, remember, drinking wine, whining about Castle's changes. You said and I quote, "He's different" … "pulling away", then the flight attendant?"

"But he knows, he'll understand. He'll wait. Besides, I wasn't whining."

"You sure about that?" Lanie half teased, but hoped it would cause Kate to realize just how important the decision might just be.

Kate starts to say something, Lanie cuts her off, waving a hand at Kate.

"Do you want him to wait, or do you want to drive him away?"

"Oh come on, you know how I feel."

"Do I? Just a couple of weeks ago you were afraid you were losing him. Now despite no evidence that he isn't through waiting, you are convinced he will wait. You willing to let him go for your mom's murderer?"

"I won't have to. He will support me, he's my partner."

"Is that all he is?"

"Yes, he wants me to have closure. He won't make me choose. Wait. What do you mean?"

"Kate, really? Four years and you just said yes when I asked if that is all Rick is."

"You know that partner means so much more to me."

"Actually, Kate, you know what? Never mind." Lanie's frustration with the two steps forward and one back dance burst out.

Beckett's silence as she focuses on a spot on the wall speaks volumes. The tears start to build in her eyes. Lanie finally says one last thing.

"Kate, I'm going to go. Javi is waiting. You need to think about all this. If you can't be there for him, like he needs, than walk away. You have a decision to make and only you can make it, but I do believe you said something about going to counseling. That's a strength not a weakness, use it."

As Lanie walks out, Kate looks to Rick before reaching for her phone. Two button presses later she lifts it to her ear. It seemed to take an eternity before it rang, even longer before a familiar voice answers …

"Hello, It's Kate, Kate Beckett. I'm sorry to bother you so late." a pause, before Kate replies, "See you at 7:30, thank you!"

_**Corridor Outside Castle's Room **_

While Lanie and Kate talked, Detective Javier Esposito was busy. First was a surprising discussion with Jake Taylor. Despite their initial meeting, both men respected and instantly liked one another after shaking off the confrontation. They both understood where the other was coming from.

"Hey Jake, you wanted to talk." Javi only needed a quick look at Taylor to know something was up. The motion from Jake to follow him confirmed Javi's suspicion.

They ducked around the corner and then into a staff only area, the access code and clearance provided when Jake's company offered increased security for the current contract amount, with no increase for three years. The newly installed ICU security office was known to only a select few.

The hospital administrator had been livid when she learned that electronic bugs were placed in ICU after Castle was rushed in, so she jumped at Jake's offer. It was a win win for all involved. It provided a secure place to talk.

Jake had kept all of the existing security staff, certain it was one or more of those men who had breached the trust of the patients. Keeping them all on staff would not raise a red flag. The contract for security had been fortuitously on a month to month basis while new bids were analyzed. When he learned about that opening, Jake made an offer the hospital couldn't refuse. He even gave all of the staff raises, and better benefits - the latter giving him a reason to get new personal information on the security personnel. That information would provide Taylor's investigators valuable information.

"Javi, we don't have a lot of time." No need to mention that if they were gone long it might raise the suspicion of those watching.

"Understood." Esposito's one word response typical of special ops, simple and to the point.

"I've got to get to the airport. I will be back by Monday, Wednesday at the latest. Just in case I need to contact you here's a secure sat-phone. I may need to contact you sooner." Taylor handed Esposito a small black phone, the latest in encrypted satellite phones.

"What do you suspect?"

"Nothing concrete, but Martin's death never seemed kosher." The memory of the death of his friend still haunted Jake. The shocking discovery just days earlier that his rifle was used to shoot Detective Beckett had triggered the need to dig - a need that had been festering for a while.

"You have a suspicion." The unasked question was what.

"Sort of, I have several things to check out, some serious recon. No time." The latter meaning no time to explain.

"Then why did you want to meet?"

"Read this over. I will need an answer next week if possible. We'll talk then." Javi takes the USB drive that Jake offers him. They quickly leave the room, and are back outside Castle's room in five minutes.

_**Trauma I.C.U. Corridor**_

Javi continues down the corridor to the conference room. He nods to the uniform on duty. Once inside he boots up his personal laptop, thankful that he had asked Castle for some advice on securing his personal data from probing eyes. The biometric security installed by one of Castle's guys gave Javi piece of mind, Rick paying for it made it all the better. The document that Jake wanted read left Javi contemplating a very unforeseen future.

Before Javi had time to fully absorb what he had read, Lanie enters the conference room.

"Hi chica, come here." He's relieved and excited to see her. The question is how does he tell her what just happened.

"Javi, we need to talk." Lanie is anxious to discuss Kate's dilemma, not realizing that Javi has one of his own. She had abruptly stopped, not walking into his offered hug.

Taken back by her stance, Javi asks the first thing that comes to mind, "What I do?"

"Nothing." Still lost in thoughts and worries about Kate, Lanie doesn't notice Javi's concern over her demeanor.

"Lanie?"

The questioning tone finally causes her to look up. She steps into his hug.

"What's wrong? Let me help."

"Javi, take me home." The look in her eyes tells him to wait. They walk out of the conference, heading to the parking garage.

_**Standing Next to Esposito's Cruiser**_

One of Jake's men had been guarding Javi's cruiser, even so, the guard sweeps it once more for bugs. A simple nod indicates it's all clear.

"Javi, Kate …" Lanie struggles to say what is needed.

"What?" Esposito has switched into Detective/big brother mode upon hearing the concern in Lanie's voice.

"No, she's fine. Well, maybe not fine, but she has a lot to think about."

"Go on." Trying to watch the road and listen carefully, Javi glances at Lanie.

"Alexis gave her a choice."

"What do you mean a choice?"

"Castle or her mom."

"Damn it! … wait explain." It came out far harsher that Esposito meant it to, sounding a lot like an order.

"Please." Lanie's response caused Javi to look at her. The slight glare in her eyes gave him pause, before he realized she was not happy with his barking an order.

"Huh?" The chastised detective mumbled, attempting to correct his mistake, "… oh, sorry. Please explain."

Instinctively Javi ducked as Lanie's hand came up, instead she tapped him lightly upside his sometimes thick skull, before she told him what she had learned. Her smile let him know he was forgiven.

"Alexis took Kate to dinner. Asked Kate to join them while Rick recovers. They are going away."

"I'm not following. So they are going to the Hamptons. Kate can go up on her days off."

"No. They are going _away_ away."

"What? I'm not following."

"Kate said Alexis asked her to come with them. Only Alexis won't tell her where they are going or for how long. Apparently, this is something Rick planned in case he was ever incapacitated."

"So, what does this have to do with her mom's case?"

"Kate wants to go, but she doesn't want to walk away."

"Of course she doesn't." Esposito's frustration is coming out. Kate has to get her justice.

"Honey, we'll lose Kate if she loses Castle."

"Chica, she's not going to lose Castle."

"Javi, you're wrong. If she chooses the case over being there for Castle, Alexis will likely shut Kate out. Kate said she has to commit to leaving with them."

"What? Lil' Castle expects Beckett to give up being a detective, her mom's case?"

"Yes." Lanie's one word of conviction reverberates as if said in an echo chamber.

"Holly Hell!"

"Exactly."

"When?" Javi needs to know just how serious this will become.

"From what little I know, it will be a few weeks till Rick can be safely moved."

"Okay, so we go solve this case like planned. Case closed and Beckett can …"

"What do you mean, go solve? Javier Esposito, Spill!"

"I have to pack. We're going off grid."

"When? Who's we?"

"Possibly tomorrow. When you were with Castle; Beckett, Ryan and I, met with Gates and Shaw."

"Why wasn't I included?"

"Because we are going after a live body."

The sound of a slap is the second thing to reverberate throughout the cruiser in the last two minutes.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Quit being stupid. I know the dragon is alive. I need to talk to Gates and Shaw."

"What for?"

"Javi, if you idiots are going after the dragon, it might be a good idea to have someone with medical training on board." She didn't feel that adding to be there for Kate was necessary.

Esposito knew better than to try to suggest it was too dangerous. They rode the rest of the way to Lanie's apartment in silence, both pondering a lot of different scenarios … and Lanie doesn't even know about Taylor's letter.

_**Across Town Slaughter's Apartment - Midnight **_

Meanwhile, at Slaughter's apartment, the watchers noticed a team of men get out of a way they spread out and tried to blend in would not have been noticed, if it wasn't for all the security cameras being monitored. The van had let one man out five blocks away, then turned and circled back. The man grabbed a cab before getting out one block past the building. It was the same nondescript van used when they had first visited Slaughter. The tracking device placed by the street bum for $50 and a bottle of scotch had done it's job.

The device was set to alert the watchers if the van came within fifteen blocks of the building. Thanks to the early warning, the good guys managed to discreetly observe the five perimeter guards, and still get eyes on the actual messenger. The tall African-American man was in his early fifties most likely, with close cropped greying hair, and a large diamond stud earring in his left ear. He was wearing an expensive, tailored, charcoal grey suit, with a camel hair overcoat. Most would assume he was a lawyer or other professional, until he spoke. His voice seemed to always be filled with a sneer, and despite his attire, there was a polished crudeness to his manner when talking.

Thirty seven minutes and forty seven seconds later the messenger left in a cab. It would be 5:00 AM the next morning before the van left - parking restrictions forcing it to be moved. Each of the individuals who had been watching would slowly leave their hiding places over the next three hours. They used every form of transportation; subway, bus, cabs, a car from a private parking garage and even one on a bike. The car, one of the two that took the bus, as well as one on the subway were tagged with the tracking devices. Three of seven, with two being followed ... not bad.

The surprise of the night was that Detective Slaughter had remained in his apartment. He finally appeared wearing a the yellow polo shirt at 9:20 in the morning. He signaled the watchers who already knew about the contact. This was a good sign - cooperation.

He would walk down to the coffee shop on the corner, stopping to buy a paper and return to his apartment. Within ten minutes a FedEx delivery was made to his building. minutes later UPS arrived with a stack of packages, several other deliveries and services were in the area. The one that mattered was the freezer and refrigerator being delivered to the apartment next door. The owner was remodeling the kitchen, the building superintendent was surprised that the appliances were being delivered ahead of schedule, but opened the freight elevator to the delivery drivers. Before he could get their I.D.'s to log them in, a homeless guy tried to enter the building. The "super" told the guys to go ahead, he had to deal with the bum.

A few minutes later the appliance crates were left in the vacant apartment. The two delivery men knocked on the apartment next door. When Detective Slaughter answered he actually appeared relieved to see them. They handed him an iPad disguised as a delivery recorder, open to a nearly blank document. It read at the top, "Type out the instructions given and any other info."

It took Slaughter nearly ten minutes to get the three short paragraphs typed. They agents couldn't decide if he was a poor typist or just scared out of his mind."

The document now read …

_Told to be ready. To lie low for the next few weeks. Keep my normal routine, meet with my attorney. My hearing will be rescheduled. Tell anyone and I'm dead._

_I will receive my new identity via deliveries over the next week. It will include passport, birth certificate and more. They already gave me the biography that backs it up. I have to memorize it. If I fail there will be consequences._

_If I pass I will execute my assignments next week. I asked what he meant by assignments, I only agreed to do one thing. He laughed said no I agreed to do what I was told. That drug dealer laughed that creepy sinister laugh, said "Da bitch and her puppy need to be neutered, permanently. Same with her other two puppies. Just like her momma."_

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**_A/N ~ Chapter got to big had to split it. Next chapter by the weekend. Several more in progress. Lots of new followers ~ Thank You! Reviews help._**

Despite doing mostly the right things during Headhunters, Beckett and her boys let a seemingly insignificant event go unchecked. The consequences are happening, the first few days seem to play out in slow motion. The pace begins to pick up.

As always, I do not own the characters just taking them out for a spin.

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**_Thank you, for taking the time to write a review._**


	21. Lighthouse

_**~ Lighthouse ~**_

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_**The Hallway Outside Dr. Burke's Office **_

Dr. Burke was hardly surprised to find Detective Kate Beckett pacing outside his office at 7:00 A.M., despite having told her he could see her at 7:30. The simple fact that she had called him at almost 11:00 P.M. the night before foreshadowed her early arrival. After all, Kate Beckett liked to be in control, and when she wasn't she tried to grab control.

"Good Morning, Detective Beckett. Why don't you come on in, we will get started as soon as I make some coffee." His greeting a calming tone, his voice quietly resonating across the corridor as he approached.

Kate snapped out of her emotional fog, briefly caught off guard at his voice. Her head whipped around, as if she was searching for a lighthouse in a storm. She found one in his leveled voice... "Dr. Burke, Good Morning. Sorry about being early."

"No need to apologize. I'm sure we have a lot to talk about." He had expected her call sooner, knowing it was coming the second the news of Rick Castle's emergency trip to the hospital had hit the airwaves.

"Umm, yes, we do." Kate was trying hard not to let her frustrations show, but the way she looked away told him she was troubled. As they stepped into his office, she quickly unfolded her arms, releasing the tight grip she had been holding her biceps with, she switched to nervously thumb wrestling with herself.

A few minutes later, Dr. Burke handed Kate a hot cup of coffee. The way that she embraced the simple white porcelain mug told him she welcomed the warmth and sustenance, found comfort. Her hands finally quieted, now that they had something to do. Gesturing that she could have a seat, Dr. Burke took his usual chair and then offered, "So, Kate, tell me why you called."

Beckett briefly looked at him like he had purple polka dots all over his face, before stopping her pacing. She leaned against the chair.

"Castle." Kate's single word declaration, dripping with emotions, painful yet longing, anger and compassion, sorrow and joy, just two syllables overtook the brief quiet of the few seconds before Beckett poured out the driving force that brought her to this moment.

Ever the professional, Dr. Burke masked his first thought, which was "_tell me something I dont know_." Instead he waited for her to say more.

"You probably know he is in the hospital. It's my fault." Fear and devastation etched over Kate's face. She slumped thoughtlessly down on the arm of the chair across from Dr. Burke. A soft tremor as she sucked in air, a shudder as her lungs filled with a deep troubled breath.

"How is it your fault?" Dr. Burke's deep soothing baritone, asked the question in a welcoming voice of calm. It was well practiced, designed to let patients, like Kate know she was safe, that whatever she said was private.

"I didn't check on him after Slaughter punched him."

"But you didn't punch him, correct?"

"Of course I didn't." Her exasperation evident. The very idea that Dr. Burke even asked, at first shocked her. Before she took the breaths he had taught her, allowing her to focus.

"Then why do you feel it was your fault?" The same soothing tone, another attempt to support her, while gently coaxing her to explore her thoughts – vocally.

"He's my partner." Eyes are often the window to one's soul. At the moment the wide eyed fear, mixed with love, were like huge picture windows. Partner was not even close to what Richard Castle was to Kate Beckett, yet there was a lot of trouble in the stormy windows. Detective Kate Beckett was hyper-focused on Richard Castle, while turbulent emotions battled to be seen.

"Kate." This time it was Dr. Burke's one syllable word that pulled her back to focus on the broader picture.

"I didn't check on him, and he was hurt."

"Did not checking on him cause him more harm?"

"I don't know."

An honest answer from someone who lived for honesty, yet it was hiding so much more. Dr. Burke pushed on.

"You feel guilty, what is it you haven't told me?

"He knows."

"What does he know?" Hiding his thought, _if I wanted to pull teeth, I would have become a dentist_. It was still his job, but Kate Beckett could be challenging, maddening, and frustrating with the best of them. Kate Beckett was all of those things and remarkable. Castle's dedication of Extraordinary came to mind as well.

"That I remember." Her words barely an audible whisper, the way she dropped her head, so that her hair cascaded in front of her face … hiding the pain, guilt, regret, anger-at herself.

"I see. How does that relate to his injury?"

"He was punched by Detective Slaughter of Gangs." A statement of fact, delivered as if testifying in court.

"Kate that still doesn't answer the question." Burke looks to her and waits.

"Well, he wouldn't have been shadowing Slaughter if I hadn't lied." Kate testified as if a murder's conviction hangs in the balance of her one statement.

"You don't know that." The defense's objection.

"Yes, I do. Castle was pulling away, because he is tired of waiting and I hurt him." Kate's guilt pouring out, she sobs as she ends the thought.

"Perhaps." An offer of reasonable doubt.

"So, I'm right."

"Are you?"

"What?"

"When you lied to him what were you doing?"

"Hiding!"

"or?" Nudging her to recall conversations about the process they have been working through.

"Healing. Waiting."

"Healing, I can agree with. Waiting?"

"I wasn't ready, I couldn't deal with it, give him what I want to give him."

"What's that? … Kate."

"Someone not such a mess, not broken. Someone capable of loving him like he deserves."

"Is it possible that he feels the same?"

"He doesn't want me because I'm broken? … He doesn't think I love him like he deserves." Before she finishes tears are streaming down her face, painful gasp at the end.

"Do you think that's true?"

"Yes, I don't know. … No." Kate almost manages to say the last word convincingly; it comes out more as a plea.

"Has he told you that things are over?"

"No, of course not."

"Castle is a man of many words."

"Well duh!" … "Wait, do you mean?"

Burke just looks to her he lays his hands out on the edge of the chair, palms open, inviting Kate to open up, to voice her thoughts.

"You think he would say it, but I wanted to talk he wouldn't, he refused." Hurt and a small bit of anger crept into her voice.

"You've said before when he needs to talk, you often shut him down."

"So? … Oh. You mean he wasn't ready. He's not ready, he's … no longer committed."

"Could he be unsure of how you feel? How would he react to that?"

"Not Castle, he knows me, better than anyone."

"Kate, put yourself in his shoes. If he kept something from you, even for what he felt was the right reason, how would you feel?"

"He did." The two words said with a strong edge to the soft tone spoke volumes.

"How did you feel?" For now feelings mattered, _"what"_ could wait.

"Angry, hurt, confused, like he didn't trust me." Raw and clearly accurate words, as Kate folded her arms across her chest, embracing herself in a hug.

"Seems reasonable, and Castle?"

"He doesn't know that I know."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"Huh? … oh, he feels the same. Oh, geez, no wonder he pulled away. He's hiding from me."

"Hiding?"

"No. I wasn't ready, I thought I was, but … wait you think he isn't ready?"

"You have doubts, but he can't?"

"Not doubts."

"Why can't he."

"No, WE don't." Beckett was trying to convince Kate, that Rick couldn't be doubting _Always_.

"Are you sure?"

Kate stands back up and starts pacing back and forth finally stopping so she can stare out of the office window.

"There's more."

"Go on."

"I don't know where to start."

"At the beginning."

"My mom's case."

Once again Dr. Burke waits her out.

"A lot is happening. My friend Agent Jordan Shaw of the FBI has been investigating. We may be close to finally getting the man behind it all." Once she starts to let it out, the rapid fire delivery, her hands clasping together, then her eyes coming up to look him directly in the eye, leave no doubt Kate is anxious, scared and fiercely determined, to finally get the justice she's devoted a third of her life to. Yet, she looks away.

"And?"

"What?"

"That's not all that has you this wound up."

"Castle … he's been investigating on his own. For months." Her anger boils over at the thought.

"This bothers you." Knowing that this was what Castle had not told Kate.

"Yes! He could get himself killed."

"Well, I can see how that would upset you, but the anger?"

"We were supposed to do it together. He lied. He betrayed me."

"How did he lie?"

"He didn't tell me."

"Did you ever talk about your mom's case?"

"No, at least not since Castle pushed me to leave it alone."

"When was this?"

"Remember when I came back and told you I lied? Same case."

"Did he tell you he wouldn't investigate?"

"No, why? What's that got to do with it?"

"Do you know why he asked you to stop?"

"He was afraid I would get killed. That I would run straight ahead."

"Was he wrong?"

"Yes, … no."

"So, to be clear here. You never talked about it. Nothing was said about Castle investigating, and you are upset that he wanted to protect you."

"No, I'm angry that he did something so stupid, that he didn't trust me."

"Kate, you've told me how protective he is of the people he loves and cares about."

"So? …. oh. Don't I have a right to be upset, worried?"

"But you're not. You're angry. Is there something else regarding Castle?"

"He's leaving."

"You will need to explain. Is he ending your partnership?"

"No. I had dinner with his daughter last night. Castle faces a really long recovery, so they will be going away."

"This upsets you."

"Yes, his injuries won't let him come back. Our partnership, I don't know if I can give it up."

"It sounds like you don't have a choice. More importantly it's not like he chose to end things."

"Alexis gave me one."

"How so?"

"I can go with them."

"Kate, you need to explain this better."

"Castle's injuries are really serious; he will be months or even years recovering. Because of that he and his family are going away, somewhere private. Alexis asked me if I would be there for her dad, then told me I have to let her know by May 4th if I am going with them."

"Do you want to go?"

"No, yes, I can't quit."

"Quit what?"

"My mom's case, my job."

"Why would you have to quit either of them?"

"I can't do them if I'm not a cop …"

"Didn't you just say the FBI feels that your mom's case will be resolved soon?"

"Yes, but what if it's not?"

"So, if you stepped aside, the FBI would stop investigating?"

"No." With Kate's answer, they both flash back to the discussion they had about her not being the only cop in New York. That it was okay to let others handle things.

"What about your job, have you asked your Captain for a leave of absence or do you not want to?"

"I called you first. I haven't talked to Captain Gates."

"Do you want to talk to her?"

"I don't know."

"What are you afraid of Kate, that she will support you or that she won't?

"I don't know who I am … if I'm not a cop."

"Do you want to know?"

"I'm working on it."

"But?"

"I'm not sure I can just jump into life without being a cop."

"What are the consequences if you don't go with Castle?"

"I lose my partner. I won't see him every day. I … I don't know."

"Kate is that all Castle is to you? If so, why would not seeing him every day matter? Partners come and go in police work."

"He's more than my partner."

"Well that's a first. Think you can try a few more steps and fill in who exactly he is to you?"

"Not really."

"Why not? I know you are more than capable."

"It's not that I can't, I'm just not comfortable … especially since I haven't talked to Castle about any of this."

"That's important to you."

"Of course. I think he should hear it from me before I tell anyone else."

"Do you really think your friends and his haven't already seen what you are to each other?"

"They have."

"When do you plan to talk with him?"

"After my mom's case."

"Is that wise? Is it a risk you are willing to take?"

"It's not a risk."

"How is waiting on something this important to you not a risk? You don't control the future." Perhaps the carefully selected word "control" would trigger an epiphany.

"He was coming back. This case he worked on with Slaughter, Castle came to me for help. He knew he could trust me and I had his back." Kate barged right on past recognizing the intended thought provoking message.

"Is that enough? What if something happens to you? Shouldn't he know how you feel?"

"He's not going anywhere … well not for a few weeks. I will talk to him before the fourth."

"Does that mean you are going with him?"

"I have to talk to him first."

"Yes, but you said you will be busy with your mom's case."

"He'll wait for me."

"Kate, you've been worried for months now that he wouldn't wait. Think about whether you are willing to risk that he won't. I'm here if you need to talk more. You weren't scheduled until next Thursday, call if you want to talk before then."

Kate turns back from the window, tears streaming down her cheeks. She tries to hide her emotions, by putting on a game face. Dr. Burke offers one more thought.

"Kate, you've made a lot of progress through hard work the last six months. I'm proud of you, and if you will allow me to say so, I think if you share what we have been doing with Castle, he will be too."

Beckett is barely out of Dr. Burke's office before she texts both Ryan and Esposito, _Remy's 9 breakfast. _ They will understand, the cryptic message tells her brothers all they need to know - she needs to talk. She gets replies almost instantly, Ryan's sent to Esposito as well _9:30? _Kate replies _Good_.

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A/N ~ Working to get the story moving again, reviews are helpful, both as encouragment and to help me understand if readers are understanding the intention of chapters. A lot of visitors to the last two chapters and yet small number of reviews. On a positive note a big swing in new followers, so I will ask if you are following consider posting a review. Either way I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was split off as stand alone, when the chapter grew to nearly 5K words with more to be added.

That's good news as the next chapter is nearly finished, some polishing, maybe editing, may end up posted without Beta. It will be up soon.

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~~ Thank you, for taking the time to write a review. ~~


	22. Brothers, Saturdays and Family

_**Booth at Remy's 9:30**_

"Hey guys." Thanks for coming was not necessary.

"Beckett, you okay?" Ryan cuts to the chase with his simple question.

"Yeah, just a lot." The boys simply nodded as she spoke, no need to say "going on", details would come if she wanted to talk about them.

"Lanie filled me in. You want to tell Ryan or should I?" Esposito's comment catches Ryan by surprise.

"How come I'm always the last one to know?" Ryan's statement draws smirks from his partners.

"I've got it Espo. Ryan, you're the last one to know because Lanie has a big mouth." The smile as Kate says it tells both of them that she's teasing.

The waitress brings their coffee and quickly takes their order.

"I had dinner with Alexis. Castle has a plan. They are going away while he recovers. Alexis asked me to go with them after mom's case is over." Esposito raises an eyebrow at Beckett's description. She shakes her head at him, asking silently to leave it at that.

"So, how long will they be gone? It won't be the same without him around." Ryan is both honest and not seeing the rest of the story.

"Alexis doesn't know, probably a year or more. Thing is she asked me to go with them." Beckett is nervous about telling Ryan, having already seen the concern in Esposito's eyes. Beckett knew how attached Ryan was to all of the team. Losing Castle was hurting all of them, if she went with them, well she couldn't ignore that would affect Ryan more than Esposito. Repeating Alexis's question had its desired effect.

Trying not to spit his coffee out Ryan stutters his reply, "You're... you're going with them?"

"I don't know. My mom's case, I'm a cop. I don't know that I can give all that up."

"Kate, he's not stayed for the books." That Esposito spoke before Ryan was both expected and then again not. Ryan was a bit more cautious, Ryan was usually the one who was quicker on emotional things. Espo played things close to the vest.

"That's true, but why do you have to give it up? I assume they are going out to the Hamptons. Castle wouldn't ask you to give up being a cop." Ryan's eyes portray just a hint of uncertainty.

"No, but Alexis did." The stunned look on Ryan's face spurred Beckett to explain, "She asked me to be there for her dad."

"She's not thinking clearly. Castle would never ask you to do that. He loves what we do. Heck, he's one of us, even without a badge."

"Ryan, they aren't going to the Hamptons. The are going into seclusion, somewhere that Rick can recover without fans or others bothering him. Someplace that will keep all of them safe."

"That makes sense. What's the problem? You can go visit."

"Apparently that's not an option. Alexis said when they go all contact with them will be cut off, no visitors. They invited my dad." Alexis had promised Kate to see if the boys, Lanie and Jenny could join them if they wanted. That was left unsaid for now.

Esposito had been thinking about things all night, so he spoke his mind. "Kate, let's get the scum that murdered your mom and had you shot. Castle will understand you taking care of business. Then if he won't let you visit, take a leave of absence. Gates will approve it."

Ryan was nodding in agreement, but being the more open one with his feelings. "Kate, which is more important to you, being there when your mom's killer is taken down or loving Castle?"

"What?"

"Kate, all of us see how you two dance around your feelings. We also saw how you reacted to Castle learning you had heard him. You willing to risk pushing him away, after you almost did by accident?"

Beckett sat in silence, there was nothing she could say to their comments. Finally she looked to Esposito, "Espo, what if Gates won't approve a leave of absence?"

A moment of silence, Espo looked first to Kate and then to Ryan. Ryan's slight nod acknowledge the silent message of she needs us, we need to talk. Both also recognized that it was Detective Beckett that appeared to make the choice over Kate, they just weren't sure if it was the final decision, let alone the right one. They just understood that Beckett had been chasing justice for her mother alone for so long letting go was probably impossible. Espo spoke to avoid an uncomfortable silence, but most importantly to nudge Kate forward.

"Quit. Being a cop is important, but there is more to life." That answer from Esposito shook the table to it's core. All three considered themselves lifers, but each in their own way had wondered if there was more to life than chasing murderers. Ryan didn't even realize he was nodding in agreement.

"I don't think I can, but maybe I have to. Thanks Espo, Ryan. You two, well, I hope you know." Neither needed Kate to elaborate, they knew.

A short time later standing by the door, having finished breakfast, they agreed to meet up at the precinct about three P.M.. Beckett was heading to the hospital after receiving a text from Alexis asking her to come to Martha's room ASAP or call. The boys were going to run some errands before going to the precinct, taking the afternoon to prepare for the coming mission. Beckett leading the way out didn't see the looks the boys were exchanging, the worry, the hope, the brotherly nods - nor the glares - the opposing view.

_**Beckett Is Alone In Her Crown Vic ...**_

Just as Beckett was ready to pull into traffic her "special" phone rang, stopping her progress. The screen sprang to life with the ID of the caller, a picture of the FBI credentials for Jordan Shaw. "Beckett."

"Kate, I've got some things to go over with you. Two o'clock, gym at the twelfth, bring your gear."

"I'll be there. Will we be leaving in the morning? What's going on?"

"Two o'clock. I don't know yet. Just some things that we're picking up. Nothing concrete. Need to pick your brain, theorize."

"See you then." Kate hung up and quickly called Alexis.

"Alexis, it's Kate. I will be there in twenty …"

Once again, she looked at the traffic, and briefly saw a dark tunnel with a tiny spec of light, shaking it off she prepared to pull into the next opening in the stream of cars. Intent on getting into traffic, Beckett's conscious failed to focus in on the two men at the corner - despite their being only ten feet away in plain sight - she knew both of them. One from an up close and personal moment in interrogation, and the other from various news reports. The flash of light off the one man's large earring eerily similar to light reflected off a rifle scope. If Beckett looked down instead of pulling into traffic, the light was now reflected right into the center of her chest.

A brief thought about the light in the tunnel took Kate back to watching Saturday morning cartoons with her mom, remembering how Wile E Coyote in Roadrunner always ran into the tunnel despite everyone knowing it was a train coming_. _Then she asked herself how come he didn't get a gun like Elmer Fudd did for hunting rabbits._ I'm losing my mind_ she jokingly told herself, another laugh at the absurd idea, before saying out loud, "That's Castle's department!" _Wait, Castle would have a field day with theories about Martians, or CIA mind altering experiments, just at the suggestion I'm losing my mind_.

Shaking her head, Beckett told herself to get serious, no time for cartoons and memories. It was time to focus on her mom's case and Castle's recovery afterwards, she reminded herself. The first step was getting out into traffic and to the hospital.

Five minutes later when Beckett was stuck in traffic, she reached over and turned her lights and siren on. She couldn't stand the wait knowing that Alexis and Martha had something important to talk to her about concerning Rick. She didn't make the hospital in twenty minutes, but twenty-five was close enough.

Even while weaving her way through traffic, Beckett's mind raced off down the tunnel of her vision. A movie was playing that she was fascinated to watch, Castle was the supporting star, as Detective Beckett awakened from years of living a nightmare. As she finally picked up the pieces and started her march forward from her zombie like existence, Castle was there.

His annoying presence by her side, quickly turned to grudging if silent respect. It hadn't taken long for Castle's little things to make a difference. The crazy and often perfectly timed things that he said or did during cases helped her learn to smile, to have a little fun without feeling guilty, allowing her to breath without feeling guilty. She could go home at night and ever so briefly let a case go until the next day. The job was still about the worst of what humans did to one another, but it was a little lighter at the end of the day.

All of that was in deep subtext in the movie that was playing in super fast forward as Kate raced to the hospital. Lost on her was the irony that Rick would surely point out, that he, Richard Castle, had finally gotten Detective Beckett to drop her top so to speak and go a little wild … Beckett on Cops-Gone-Wild!

Instead, all Beckett saw because she was still controlling what was in focus, was how Castle had pulled out of her stagnation and started her moving forward, to finally finding the man responsible for her mother's murder. At every significant point since waking up and starting the journey Castle had been there, mentally, physically, and emotionally … no questions asked. He simply was. As she pulled into the hospital parking garage Beckett felt a surprising hurt as she realized she was possibly going to get justice, but that Castle wouldn't be by her side.

_It's okay Kate, I'm right here. _She could feel his support even though he wasn't beside her, but the words that entered her mind seemed way beyond real. Kate shook her head, but still the power of his unwavering support was tangible … _will it be true in the future?_

"Thank you, Castle, I couldn't have gotten here without you." Anyone passing by would have done a double take hearing her talk to someone that wasn't there, and no phone in hand. The daydream broken by reality, Beckett found a bit of _false_ confidence she hadn't been feeling - she was convinced even more that Castle would support her vision quest.

At least for now her tunnel vision had stopped her from understanding the true meaning of Castle beside her in every significant moment since she had started to emerge from the darkness she had lived in for so long, from the despair. The one she had crawled through for years, dragging herself along, chained to a weight that was pulling her under. The chains had wrapped around her emotional soul, and only by Castle working selfishly through the years, had links started to be pried away - link by link.. It was still a heavy burden, but Kate was able to take longer breaths. Life was calling, would Kate or Beckett answer?

The blare of a car horn startled the zombie walking Detective back to reality … the reality of the moment. A shy wave of apology, Kate picked up her pace to get out of the way. A glance at her watch and she broke into a fast walk, Martha and Alexis were waiting … hopefully so was Rick. It still took another five minutes to get to Martha's room.

_**Inside Martha's Hospital Room**_

"Martha, you're looking better. Alexis, sorry I'm late."

"Kate, come here and give me a hug." Martha held out her arms and Kate couldn't resist.

"Detective Beckett, Dr. Davidson will be here shortly, she has something to tell us." Alexis's burst of nervous excitement yanked Kate out of the hug.

"Us? Is something wrong?" Panic rushing into Kate's voice.

"Kate, you're family, Alexis and I agreed we want you here for whatever Amanda has to say."

"I don't understand. Why didn't she tell you already?"

"I saw Joan this morning. She told me that Amanda had a long surgery last night. That she would meet with us at 11:00. Apparently, they found out why dad woke up."

"Oh, so there's nothing wrong, just want to fill us in?"

"Joan did say Amanda wanted to talk to us about how they proceed, that dad has a long way to go."

"Good Morning, Alexis is correct. I'm glad you are all here." The strong confident voice of Amanda Davidson took control, and offered all of them a bit of tension relief.

"Hello Amanda, how's my favorite doctor?" Martha's smile was warm and genuine.

"Good Morning, Dr. Davidson. Rick's okay?"

"Yes, Detective Beckett. He had a good night, all things considered."

"Amanda, I'm sorry. After last night, I'm anxious. What did you find out about my dad?"

"Alexis, Detective, why don't you both have a seat. No, nothing to be alarmed about, just have a few things to discuss. First off, Rick tried to wake up yesterday, because a nurse failed to give him his pain and sedative medications. She's new here, young, but a very good nurse. Dealing with such a sensitive case, well she got distracted." Amanda had already decided there was no need to tell Alexis and Kate it was their unexpected presence in the room. "I've talked with her about it. We are also going to put in place a system to make sure it doesn't happen again. I do apologize."

"Will my dad waking up like that cause any problems to his recovery?"

"That would be very unlikely. In fact, he probably won't even remember it. Which reminds me, he will be confused when he first comes around, he will only wake for short periods of time. Be prepared to have to tell him what has happened several times before he remembers. Also, he may not recall the days or even weeks prior to the accident."

"You mean he won't remember, ever?" Alexis asked exactly what Kate was thinking, the same sense of panic pouring out in the young woman's voice.

"No. Most likely, when he first wakes up he may be confused and shorter term memories will be hazy. There is a possibility that he may have lost some completely. The closer they are to the accident, the more likely he will have trouble recalling them. At first, it's best that you do not tell him, except of course the ones that relate to his injury. Anything else you need to give him time to remember on his own."

"We'll be sure and do as you say Amanda. Won't we Alexis, Kate?"

"How about some good news?" Not waiting for an answer Dr. Davidson continues, "The fact that Rick woke up so quickly after missing one dose of medicine, is very encouraging. He simply wants to wake up. So, we are going to wean him off his medicines. We started last night after discovering what had happened."

"Dr. Davidson, are you saying he will wake up soon?"

"Detective Beckett, I can tell you there is a good chance. But please remember he is still fighting a very serious infection, because of that he may not be lucid. If we determine his pain levels are too high, then we will medicate him until he heals more. We do prefer to have patients awake as quickly as possible. My original prognosis was to keep him medicated for another three to five days. Apparently, he has other plans."

"That's my son. He never has liked having to sit still."

"Dad is never still."

"Even handcuffs don't keep him in place." Kate couldn't help, but remember the very first case Castle had worked with her. She was furious with him back then, but now it was a fond memory.

The three answers brought a soft round of laughter, the first in days.

"Now, there will be nurses and other staff with Rick as much as possible, but Alexis, Detective Beckett, if you two could spend time with him, it would be helpful. Talk to him, gently encourage him to wake up. If he starts to come around, hit the call button. It's important a nurse or myself be there when he wakes, in case there is a need to put him back to sleep. Can you two do that? Take turns. From what I saw last night, he's going to be very disoriented. A familiar face or voice will help."

"I can help with that Amanda."

"Martha, as soon as you are released to be out of bed for more than ten minutes, we can see about getting you a wheelchair. For now the best thing you can do for your son and granddaughter is rest."

A knock at the door interrupts, "Excuse me, Dr. Davidson, Mr. Castle seems to be waking. I … I'm sorry after yesterday, …" the young nurse was clearly troubled.

"Please, we talked about this, it was an honest mistake and no permanent injury. I will go check on him, but this is his family. They …"

Alexis runs over to the nurse, wraps her in a hug, "Thank you! Thank You!, because of you I know my dad is coming back to me!"

"I will be back." Amanda walks out to go check on Castle. Alexis quickly follows, hoping to see her father awake. Kate goes to do the same, when a firm motherly voice beckons …

"Kate why don't you give Alexis some time with my son. I think you and I need to talk." This is not the full of life grand dame speaking. There is just a hint of … of _is that warning_? Kate asks herself.

"Martha. Of course." Kate turns back trying to stowaway her disappointment and contain her slight sense of fear.

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A/N ~ I appreciate the reviews, several gave me some things to think about as the story moves along. The next chapter is well into the first draft, with a little luck I can have it up later this week. I do want to take a moment and ask readers, which they prefer short chapters that focus on one thought/piece of the story, or longer chapters that may cover several things and possibly more that one day at a time?

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~~ Thank you, for taking the time to write a review. The feedback helps motivate, but it also is a very valuable tool in knowing what's working or needs clarification. So, yes I'm asking :) ~~

No Cheating by going back to count. - Bonus prize to the reviewer who comes closest to guessing the number of words Castle has spoken in this story. Which will be changing soon I promise.


	23. Tough Love

Previously …

_"Kate why don't you give Alexis some time with my son. I think you and I need to talk." This is not the full of life grand dame speaking. There is just a hint of … of is that warning? Kate asks herself._

_"Martha. Of course." Kate turns back trying to stowaway her disappointment and contain her slight sense of fear._

* * *

A bit unsure of what was coming, Kate stepped slowly back towards Martha's bed.

"Kate, please have a seat. Let's talk a bit. Shall we?" They both knew it wasn't a question. The tone was friendly yet firm.

"Martha?"

"Kate I think it's time we clear the air."

"I'm sorry? Have I done something wrong?" The normally strong Detective was nowhere to be seen. Instead the fragile woman whose life had been a living hell for years was front and center.

"Detective please don't be coy."

"Martha. You have me at a disadvantage. I've apparently upset you. Yet, I don't know what I have done in the last few days that could have …" The raise of Martha's hand caused Beckett/Kate to stop mid sentence.

"Kate, I'm going to be straight with you. I'm disappointed. You promised Richard you would be there for Alexis and frankly you haven't tried. … No, let me have my say.

"We were all in shock, but of all of us, the adults have a lot to atone for. Myself first, but you are a close second. Richard counted on you. When he learns the truth, and he will, he will be hurt."

"Martha, she didn't want to talk to me, let alone allow me to help. What was I supposed to do?" Beckett was fast pulling herself into interrogating a witness mode.

"Kate. Drop the tough girl act it's unbecoming. What you should have done - kept your promise."

"Oh so I should have given her tough love? Forced my help."

"Detective I'm in no mood for your attitude. In fact close your mouth and open your ears." The anger on Martha's face was both a surprise and worrisome.

"Martha please, relax. Tell me everything you need to say. But please don't get upset." Kate's concern was clear, her voice cracking as she worried about what any stress might do to the recovering woman. The woman who at times felt very much like a surrogate mother to her.

"Detective. Yes for now I think that's how I need to address you. When you are a Detective your strength and drive to find closure and justice makes you so strong. Richard saw your compassion and I must say it's catching.

"However, I digress. Back to Alexis. Richard put a lot on her shoulders when he named her guardian, but he expected all of us and especially you to be there for her. I'm not the level headed one. We both knew I would provide a shoulder and laughter. He trusted you to have her back.

"No, I do realize all of this just knocked the wind out of us. Alexis is concerned and angry, I know that you sense it. We're all family and yet we aren't, but we chose this family we created. It makes it all the harder when one person hurts another even unintentionally. Alexis amazing as she is, well she's still her father's little girl, just like you are your father's, beneath all that strength is a little girl who is terrified of losing her daddy.

"You think you only hurt Richard with what you did last summer? All the lies. If so you couldn't be further from the truth. When you hurt him you hurt Alexis even though she doesn't realize it. She's angry in defense of her father, but that's only part of it. She admires you yet your actions over the years have confused her. You had a chance to reach out here and you haven't."

"Martha, I … I couldn't force Alexis."

Martha's hand shot up in the all too familiar stop sign. The proverbial talk to the hand signal.

"Detective, no one expected you to force anything, but Richard did count on you to do something more than wallow in your own fears. Yes dear, I know you are in many ways just as scared, maybe even more than Alexis. I also recognize you have had to deal and are dealing with far more than most should ever face."

"Martha, I'm fine."

"Detective, please I'm a mother. While I'm not yours … well I had hoped one day to at least be more than a mother of a friend. I admire you, having been through the better part of my life, I've learned to read people. If you aren't terrified by all that happened here, then leave now."

"WHAT?" Beckett's voice betrayed her, a mixture of anger and confusion.

"Kate Beckett you heard me. If you care so little for Richard and Alexis please leave, now!" The strain from talking so sternly to the fragile yet rock solid woman. The woman she knows loves her son, but is possibly so broken … Martha doesn't want to think what it will do if Beckett takes over and runs. What she is sure of is that if Kate can't step up, as painful as her leaving would be …

"Martha I love them. Please don't make me leave."

"Kate I don't doubt that for a minute. But yes if you can't be there for both of them going forward, well dear I think you can understand the damage you would do if you can only be there part way."

"My mom."

"Kate. None of us, no one I know can fully understand. Richard has tried. You only let him in so far."

"I have to get justice. We're close."

"Before you got here Alexis and I talked. I know what she has asked. She told me things are, well pardon the pun … heating up."

"So it seems. The FBI has been working on the case, specifically the part relating to the agent who was killed in the same alley. Plus my mom and Roy. Wait, I shouldn't be telling you. Please forget all that."

"Kate. I know I play the flighty diva fairly well. As I mentioned I'm a mother. Richard carries his heart on his sleeve … too much at times. I've been there from the moment he first was blindsided, even devastated by what that Dr. ummm Murray I think his name was, found. What, you failed to realize was how painful all that was for Richard."

"I never thought of it … affecting him that way."

"Kate. Darling, Richard … what did you think?"

"I was angry, hurt, betrayed. I trusted him to for once do what I told him. When he told me … I …. "

"You reacted, as anyone who felt what you were feeling would."

"Hardly my finest moment. We did move on."

"You did after how many months of not talking? Most of the summer as I recall. … You never talked about it. Really talked."

"We … just needed time and moved on."

"No Kate, you needed time. Richard needed to talk, but he needed you more."

"What? No he didn't need me. We didn't need to talk about it we reached an understanding." By not talking she told herself.

"Kate you needed to move forward, that's how you deal with so much. Yet has all your compartmentalizing and holding things in really been healthy? Helpful?"

"It works. Well most of the time. Can you explain what Rick was feeling … anything else I need to know? This recovery getaway that Alexis asked me, I don't know. I have … it would help if you can tell me. Anything."

"You need to know first that none of us want to leave, but we really have no choice. With how the press would poke into things. Richard will need to heal in peace, knowing Alexis is safe. I assure you he will do better if you are there."

"Martha I don't know yet. Please?"

"Kate let me ask you a question; do you know how I knew you weren't some conquest or short term fling? That my son had truly fallen for you."

"I have no idea."

"The first hint was his excitement at meeting you. Then when he called Bob to smooth the way for following you."

"Go on. Though, I'm not sure I understand. Yet."

"Darling you will. It was a few months later when he got the call from that doctor. His mood changed instantly. He went to his office to take the call, when he came back. Well the storm clouds that had overtaken his mood, troubling and fear rolled into one.

"We talked. Richard was torn apart. I feared whatever it was that had hurt him so quickly. When he told me that he had information about your mother's case, that telling you was going to end things between you, well I knew you had to know. I also knew he had to hurt himself by telling you. And so did Richard. The determination in his words, the utter conviction he had … that no matter the personal cost to himself, he was not considering not telling you. The how was tearing him apart.

"My fun loving son, grew up before my eyes … in the past when it came to the girls in his life … except Meredith and Gina, fun always came above all else. Those two as you know were both serious and frankly not good for Richard, except for Alexis of course. With you, he feared what the information was going to do to you. He accepted what he thought it would do to whatever was between you."

"In time I knew he did it for the right reason. I … well I didn't think about … it really affected him that much?"

"He called Bob to get access. Richard didn't call Bob when you pushed him away."

"He waited for me to call, to calm down."

"Yes. But he was healing … needed space to deal with hurting you, yet he needed you and forgiveness far more. What he didn't do was make that selfish call"

"I … why didn't he tell me how he felt."

"I'm sorry Kate, I don't mean to laugh. Especially at my son or you. For two people who are as smart and capable at so many things, well when it comes to important personal discussions you both avoid them in your own ways. Richard tries to find the perfect words, which often leaves him tongue tied."

"I think I understand. Can I ask you to just tell me what you mean … to make sure?"

"Kate it's actually very simple. You meant more to him then and even more today than any of his own needs. He didn't call Bob to get back in, he put your need for justice ahead of the pain he expected … the pain he got. That's how I knew you were not some passing conquest, another brief fling, but the woman who had finally captured his heart."

"Thank you."

"Richard, all of us, want you to have the closure you need. I meant what I said though, if you can't commit to staying beside them, I really must insist you walk away. It's a lot to ask, and you need time to think it through. Just make sure you give Alexis your decision by May 4th. Now go on and see if he's awake."

Kate doesn't waste a second as she practically runs to Rick's room. What she witnesses as she enters knocks her back as if she was hit by a freight train.

An agitated Castle with fire in his eyes is verbally attacking Alexis.

"Meredith! I'm not going to play your games. Now where is Alexis and you better tell me or … or …"

Dr. Davidson tries to get through to him. "Mr. Castle, you need to calm down. I don't know who Meredith is, but I promise you that's Alexis you are talking to."

"No! No, my baby is only five that … that's … wait no it's not Meredith … so sorry sorta, looks like … what's happening? I don't understand."

"Daddy! Please it's me. Please. You were attacked Detective Slaughter. He punched you."

"Detective Slaughter? Don't you mean Derek Storm? I … oh it hurts. My head."

"Alexis. We'll try again in a little while. For now I need to sedate your father to help him calm down."

Kate walks over and gently takes Alexis by her shoulders, a soft hug. "Alexis I promise you, your father will come back. Soon. It took me a few days to really get lucid. Just keep telling him you're here and you love him."

For the first time since the ordeal began, Alexis welcomed comfort from Kate Beckett. She wasn't thinking about anything just feeling. While Kate asked herself, can I do this for them? It might be years she realized, and that part terrified her. She wasn't sure why, yet it did.

Before taking time to think about what that meant Beckett realized she needed to see what Alexis needed. Because she was a bit lost her words came out with a hint of distance in the tone, "Alexis, do you want to talk, get something to eat, drink? Do you need anything?"

It took a few seconds, "Oh. Sorry, I think I want to go talk with grams. Do you mind? Can we talk later?"

"Of course."

Martha was moved at the sight of Alexis in Kate's arms. Then she noticed Alexis was crying, really crying. "Kate?"

"Rick's still out of it. He called her Meredith. He was angry with Meredith … sorry. Alexis your dad's coming back. I know that was hard."

"Alexis, Kate's right. Give it some time. Amanda told us he would possibly be disoriented, confused about things when he first woke up."

"I know. Kate umm thanks. Later ok?"

"Sure, I need to head to the precinct. Both of you take care, call me if."

"Of course we will dear. Alexis come here and give me a hug." As Alexis half crawled up on the bed next to Martha, a silent thank you was mouthed to Kate.

Wiping a tear from her eye, Kate nodded as she left the room.

Just before stepping out to face the press still waiting for any tidbit of news, Beckett's special phone vibrated with an incoming text from Jordan Shaw.

_Precinct ASAP. Your personnel file has been accessed._

A second text came immediately after.

_Espo's & Ryan's as well. Urgent. 15?_

A frustrated "Damn It!" escaped the emotionally struggling Beckett's lips as she walked outside. Captured in its brief glory by the cameraman known by many to work for the SAT "news" group … aka Sleaze All the Time.

Beckett ignored the shouted questions as she typed out her reply.

"20 … gym"

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A/N: This chapter was difficult, for some reason no matter what I couldn't get it to come out the way I wanted. It's a very necessary chapter for what is coming. I should have three or more chapters this week. This one was the stubborn one ... LOL

Of course the usual disclaimer always applies. I simply don't own the characters, just trying to put a spin on them. One other important thing to note, no beta on this chapter. I do have a couple of people who may soon be helping ... lord knows I need any help I can get.

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~~ Thank you, for taking the time to write a review. The feedback helps motivate, but it also is a very valuable tool in knowing what's working or needs clarification. So, yes I'm asking :) ~~


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